The ill-concealed dream of every flyover state art school grad and casual hip hop fan to move to Brooklyn has finally come true: Williamsburg is officially the city's worst urban hell of rusting empty buildings. Just like a real ghetto!

Eight of the 13 entries on Forbes's new list of "America's most troubled luxury neighborhoods" are located in the tri-state area. The worst of the worst: New Vernon, New Jersey, which ranks No. 2 on the list, just ahead of Alpine, NJ. The East End makes a strong showing as well, naturally: Sagaponack and Amagansett come in at No. 4 and 5, respectively. [WSJ, Forbes]

Former Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara, the "architect" of the Vietnam War, died this morning. He was 93.

You know who Sarah Palin totally reminds Tina Brown of? Princess Di. Previously in "People who remind Tina Brown of Princess Di": Paris Hilton, and everyone else in the world. [Daily Beast]

The New York Post runs some tidbits today from the new book Bobby and Jackie: A Love Story, which purportedly reveals some steamy, sad secrets of a long-hidden affair between Jackie Kennedy and her brother-in-law, Robert Kennedy.

Everything wrong with Twitter: "Tila Tequila has instructed all her followers to tweet #farts today."

Keri Russell taking son River to the park ... Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld watching a Mets game at Citi Field with their kids ... Liv Tyler getting in an SUV outside her apartment ... Nicole Kidman shooting scenes for her new movie in Queens ... Anne Hathaway walking downtown with boyfriend Adam Shulman ... Kate Hudson walking under an umbrella in the Village ... Heidi Klum playing with her kids at a playground on Bleecker Street ... Robert Pattinson locking up a bike on the set of his new movie ... and Alex Rodriguez leaving his apartment building with a family friend.

The Washington Post did a terrible thing, the New York Times reports. "Why is the WP so morally bankrupt?" the NYT wonders. The Post has issued a laughably weak apology for being a cheater loser paper, reports the NYT!

[DJ Samantha Ronson outside her London hotel; image via Splash]

If you're in the financial district today and you have some time to spare, artist Geoffrey Raymond is inviting the public to scribble on his latest masterpiece—a portrait of Goldman Sachs chief Lloyd Blankfein—in the alley behind 85 Broad Street during lunch. Sharpies will be provided, as usual. [Dealbreaker, previously]

Today we have a cranky author who wants Page Six to write about him more, a celebrity chef who's only skinny because she poops a lot, and a reformed drinker who's very cautious about relapsing.

You probably thought Lydia Hearst spent her days and nights flitting from party to party and posing nude for European magazines, didn't you? Well, it turns out the oft-nude publishing heiress is pretty up to speed on economic matters as well. Hearst, who appears on the cover of the new issue of Social Life magazine, gave the mag a surprisingly sophisticated answer when she asked what if there was anything in the news that has "piqued" her interest as of late:

That was quick! Marisa Noel Brown, the youngest daughter of disgraced hedge fund manager Walter Noel, and her husband Matt Brown, have found a buyer for their townhouse at 12 East 78th Street. The 20-foot-wide manse, which was officially listed for $12 million in May, went into contract late last week. No word yet on what the buyer agreed to pay for it, although it's probably substantially less than what the couple was hoping to get given how desperate they were to unload the property quickly. (It's almost certain they took a big loss on the sale: The couple purchased the home for $13.5 million in January 2008.) No word yet on who the buyer is either, although whoever it is will probably need to spend quite a bit of cash making the home inhabitable. Demolition work had just been completed on the six-story brownstone when the Noel family became embroiled in the Bernie Madoff scandal and the couple elected to put it up for sale. Update: A source "close to Ms. Noel Brown" tells the Observer that the price was $9.75 million. [Cityfile, Stribling]

Robert Pattinson thinks New York women are crazy, Lady Gaga gets naked in London club, Michael Bay puts Megan Fox in the corner, Josh Duhamel is an ass man, Russell Crowe throws another public hissy-fit and Rihanna's boob falls out.

50 Cent turns 34 today. George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States, is turning 63. Nancy Reagan is 88. Sylvester Stallone is turning 63. Actor Geoffrey Rush is 58. Former Mets manager Willie Randolph turns 55. Ex-Barneys CEO Howard Socol is 64. Brazilian model Caroline Trentini is turning 22. Robin Antin, the Pussycat Dolls founder and sister of hairstylist Jonathan Antin, is 48. And the Dalai Lama turns 74 today.

• Robert Pattinson has been in NYC shooting his new movie, Remember Me, but he's been so overwhelmed by the out-of-control teenage fans who track his every move, he'd really like to return home to the U.K. [NYDN]
• Chris Brown's run-in with Rihanna isn't putting a damper on his social life: He was spotted "locking lips" with Amber Rose, Kanye West's ex, at Diddy's annual White Party this past weekend. Rose's career is picking up too: She's been signed by Ford Models. [NYDN, P6]
• Courtney Love supposedly trashed her room at the Inn on Irving Place when she stayed there a couple of weeks ago, leaving behind dirty needles, used feminine hygiene products, and a flooded floor. [P6]
• Today in Michael Jackson-related news: His memorial is scheduled for tomorrow and a gazillion fans are expected to show up; a battle over his will appears to be brewing; and Debbie Rowe flipped out when the paparazzi caught up with her outside a Chinese restaurant yesterday. [CBS, ABC, TMZ, TMZ]
• You may be hearing more from Levi Johnston, Bristol Palin's baby daddy. He's shopping a book and is in talks to appear in a "docudrama." [NYM]
• Jon Bon Jovi serenaded diners at the Blue Parrot, the Mexican spot in East Hampton that he co-owns. [P6, HuffPo]

Did you hear about how Alaska's greatest source of shame and humiliation announced that she was going to strike down anyone who takes her name in vain with great vengeance and furious anger, just like God? Oh yes she did!

At around 1:30am Eastern time, Dan Abrams' Mediaite, his "Huffington Post meets Gawker" website, went live. We've been trying to take a look at it, but it keeps going down. Ah, growing pains!

That's not Frank Oz's hand up Phyllis Nefler's ass; it's a stick called the Weddings and Celebrations section of the Sunday NYT. Today, she realizes the evil, dark magic contained within them. Presenting your July 4th Weekend edition of Altarcations:

A reader passed along a quote from Mark Sanford she ran across in an April edition of Time: "I think the fatal flaw of a lot of people in politics is that they want to be loved." Ha! [Time]