The Eiffel Tower is the centerpiece of a fireworks display at the conclusion of the Bastille Day celebration in Paris last night. [AP/Thibault Camus]

The New York Times has been grooming young A. G. "The Future" Sulzberger to take over the company by slowly easing him into the journalistic fires. Now, he's really earning his wings—By covering Manhattan's street fruit stand wars!

The Episcopal Church voted overwhelmingly in favor of consecrating bishops who are openly gay.

Oh my—Bill O'Reilly is angry. Angry at Newsweek specifically, for perpetrating what he sees as a "growing problem in America...media corruption." What did Newsweek do? They allowed a liberal columnist to criticize Fox News and Sarah Palin!

Maybe you heard yesterday about how things are going great over at Goldman, like $1,000,000 for each employee great? So surely there were some sick banker celebrations going down last night, right? Not if management can help it!

Superagent Ari Emanuel, brother of Rahm, has been getting lots of glowing press lately. Remember when the New York Times genuflected at his altar on their front page? Now The Independent is breathlessly touting his plans to single-handedly reinvent Hollywood.

A tourist who recently dined at the Bull and Bear restaurant inside the Waldorf-Astoria claims that he found something foreign inside of his steak, something so vile and revolting that we can't even bring ourselves to say what it is.

Tonight Barack Obama threw out the first pitch at the 2009 Major League Baseball All-Star game. Gambling websites have been taking bets on whether or not he would bounce the pitch to home plate! So how did he do?

Would the Summer of Death truly be complete without a giant shark washing up on the shores of Long Island, New York? We think not!

After microblogging a bank robbery, Annemarie Dooling discovered her real enemy was the news media; Penelope Trunk fact-checked her former client, Time Inc. and a New Republic writer afflicted the comfortable... in a bar. The Twitterati weren't having it.

• A notorious group of "gem raiders" hit the Cartier in Cannes yesterday and made off with more than $20 million in merchandise. What probably should have been a tip-off that something was amiss: the robbers were all clad in Hawaiian shirts. [Telegraph, Sun]
• Balmain may be getting into the handbag biz. [WWD]
• Big things are planned for Fashion's Night Out, the extravaganza that takes place this September and is designed to get people shopping again. Anna Wintour's brainchild will "involve a cornucopia of in-store events, from parties to personal appearances by designers and celebrities, live music, fashion shows, freebies, charity tie-ins, and extended shopping hours." [WWD]

The Onion this month told staff that resisting advertiser pressure is a "losing game." But it seems the humor publication isn't just keen to sell its soul to sponsors; we hear The Onion is talking about selling everything.

Ayman Abu Aita told right-wing website WorldNetDaily that he quit Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigades in 2003 and now represents its affiliated political party, Fatah, in the West Bank town of Beit Sahor. And rather than meeting Cohen at a "secret location," as Cohen told Letterman, he met him at a popular restaurant called Everest in the part of the West Bank under Israeli control. It would have been impossible, Aita said, for him to have a weapon as Cohen told Letterman he feared.

[The terribly literary Madison Avenue Baptist Church makes us ruminate on summer today; image via Rafael Chamorro's Flickr]

A source working at Comic Con tells us that organizers are purposefully putting Avatar events far from Twilight events because they fear a melee between the Fanboys and TweenGirls. Hopefully there will be enough
wolf T-shirts for everyone.

The Twitterati are only too happy to take their private moments public. But Silicon Valley's technical wizards are whispering to one another over lunch that the the federal intelligence apparatus wants more, and is taking it. (Update: Twitter denies)

• Hell freezes over: Rocco DiSpirito says he's been in talks with restaurateur— and onetime enemy—Jeffrey Chodorow about opening a new restaurant. [GS]
• The Standard Grill started up breakfast service today. [TFB]
• New York isn't the only magazine with a "Cheap Eats" issue on newsstands this week. It seems Time Out New York has got one, too. [TONY]
• The latest urban food fight: fruit vendors are now squaring off. [NYT]
• It's Bastille Day! Here are a few places to go to celebrate. [GS]

Things have gotten so bad that unpaid corporate interns are literally starving. Across America, interns are desperately prostituting their fresh young smiling faces in return for a single box of Little Debbie muffins, so they may live another day.

The New York Post is facing a demand for retraction from Debbie Rowe's attorney over a story in today's paper, and it's choosing an odd way to defend itself: By relying on the reporting of its arch-rival, the Daily News.

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