The apartment that belonged to disgraced lawyer Marc Dreier goes up for auction at 1pm today. And the winning bidder won't just walk away with a 3,000-square-foot pad and 738-square-foot terrace on the 34th floor of One Beacon Court. All the items that Dreier left behind are part of the package as well. In addition to nine pints of Haagen Dazs ice cream in the freezer, the lucky bidder will also walk away with "a half-eaten raspberry peach pie, a collection of Christian Liaigre furnishings and seven pairs of black Ermenegildo Zegna shoes, mostly size eight." Naturally, there's a catch, a little detail that goes unmentioned by the firm handling the auction this afternoon. Since Dreier was under house arrest for several months and wasn't even permitted to leave his apartment to walk the dog, the jailed lawyer is also reportedly leaving behind a terrace that's covered with dog doo. Bring a spoon (for the ice cream) and a bucket full of cleaning supplies (for the doo), and you'll be fully prepared. [Bloomberg]

• Michael Lemos, the son of a Greek shipping tycoon, isn't letting the dour real estate market get to his head. The London-based heir has raising the price of his full-floor apartment at 2 East 67th Street even though it's been sitting on the market for more than a year. The fifth-floor co-op, which went on the market for $34.9 million in May 2008 and was increased to $39.5 million last July, is now listed with Dolly Lenz for $45 million. [Cityfile, PDE]
• Och-Ziff chief financial officer Joel Frank and his wife Lynn paid $9.4 million for a third-floor condo at 15 CPW last October. But now they're buying an apartment downtown, too. The couple picked up 1,200-square-foot pad at 99 Jane Street for $1.5 million. [Curbed]
• David Schrader, a former senior managing director at Bear Stearns, has sold his 12th-floor apartment at 30 Fifth Avenue for $1.95 million. [Cityfile]

Cameron Diaz is a playa, Jessica Simpson drowns her dumping sorrows with friends, Lilo and Sam Ronson engage in an epic fight over Drea De Matteo, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy are engaged and Jeffrey Donovan get a DUI.

Josh Hartnett turns 31 today. Robin Williams is turning 58. Doonesbury creator Garry Trudeau turns 61 today. Defense attorney Ben Brafman is turning 61, too. Yankees star CC Sabathia is turning 29. Cat Stevens is 61. Comedian Jon Lovitz turns 52. Architect David Rockwell is 53. Music mogul Martin Bandier turns 68. Former PaineWebber CEO and now investor Don Marron is turning 75. Democratic lobbyist Bill Lynch is 68. Attorney Ken Starr is 63. Former U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno is turning 71. Actor Justin Bartha is 31. And model/actress Ali Landry turns 36 today.

• Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson are tussling once again. This time, Drea De Matteo was involved. And LiLo's clothes ended up in the street. [DM]
• Speaking of troubled young stars, Mischa Barton's rep is denying reports that it was Barton's drug issues that sent her to the hospital. [OK]
• Lizzie Grubman says she was asked recently to join the cast of Real Housewives of New York City, but decided to turn it down. Our loss, clearly. [P6]
• Because fake tanning is an art, Victoria Beckham has retained the services of a "personal spray-on tan artist" to help her "shading appear more natural." [DM]

It looks like the campaign for mayor will be a bit more competitive this fall: "A Times Square fixture is throwing his cowboy hat into the political ring, leaving him with even fewer articles of clothing. Robert Burck, better known as The Naked Cowboy, says he's running for mayor.The 38-year-old performance artist says he will run a transparent campaign." [NY1, Reuters, People]

Ouch, this one hurts. A trend-tracking organization based in Texas has determined that New York is no longer the world's fashion capital. Yeah.

Surely you've read the Twitter works of noted wordsmith Sarah Palin and wondered to yourself, "How does she string together such poetry so effortlessly?" Very, very slowly!

Remember last week when Pat Buchanan, noted fighter of white male oppression, went on Rachel Maddow's show and launched into one of the more staggeringly imbecilic rants in the history of political punditry? Last night Maddow re-visited that whole episode.

After weeks of wrangling that nearly resulted in the shutdown of the Boston Globe, members of the Boston Newspaper Guild approved a new labor agreement with the New York Times Company by a 366-to-179 vote. [New York Times]

Well here's an iPhone app that'll come in handy for most Gawker readers—Apple has approved something called "Cannabis," and it's awesome!

An Iranian doctor who witnessed the murder of Neda Agha-Soltan has identified her killer.

The way we die now: Utterly broke, so broke that our families are forced to bury us in the backyard, like a damn goldfish or something.

Today we learned that Us Weekly editor Janice Min was considering leaving her post at the magazine when her current contract expires in two weeks. Tonight she issued a statement announcing her plans to move on.

Bill O'Reilly is so torn up over the death of Walter Cronkite. According to Bill, Cronkite was a liberal, but he didn't let his political views influence his reporting, unlike everyone around today, everyone except Fox News of course.

A tipster pointed out that the scribe of today NY Post's puff piece on Stephen Moyers failed to disclose that she and the True Blood star have a child together. How does our tipster get this juicy info?

It is impossible not to squeal with glee upon watching one girl's Harry Potter fantasies come to life. See if you can pinpoint the exact moment when her heart explodes from joy.

• A new survey finds that New York City is no longer the fashion capital of the universe. For the first time in five years, NYC came in second place and Milan snagged the top slot. Or at least this is what a research firm based in Austin, Texas is now claiming. [NYDN]
• The best and worst in July fashion mags. [Cut]
• It looks like Anna Wintour has decided to embrace The September Issue, the forthcoming doc about Vogue's inner workings: Anna herself will be hosting a "splashy" screening next month. [FWD]
• Jason Wu on his morning ritual (espresso at Starbucks, in the office by 10am) and his roommates (his two cats, Jinxy and Peaches). [Times UK]
• Christian Siriano's latest collaboration? It's with Starbucks, apparently. [Cut]

Broadcast networks are hemorrhaging ad revenue. Their news divisions are dwindling. Mainstays of popular TV shows are treated like disposable commodities. What are the networks to do? Well NBC, which reported a 41% profit plunge, has an idea: chase terrorists.

Angry and unbeaten white suspects made a Vanity Fair editor angry; Facebook friendings sparked an ego-tweet; and self deprecation was deprecated. The Twitterati were eagerly reading between the lines.