Ed Norton is celebrating his 40th birthday today. Saturday Night Live's Andy Samberg is turning 31. Robert Redford is 73. Patrick Swayze is turning 57. Comedian Denis Leary is 52. Christian Slater is turning 40. Nadine Strossen, the president of the ACLU, turns 59. Newsman Bob Woodruff is turning 48. Former First Lady Rosalynn Carter turns 82 today. Jeremy Shockey of the New Orleans Saints is turning 29. Director Roman Polanski is 76. Actor Craig Bierko is turning 45. And Frances Bean Cobain, the daughter of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love, turns 17 today.

• Remember how Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn said they were divorcing a few months ago, but then changed their minds and announced they were getting back together? Yea, well, they're divorcing again. [P6, People]
• ESPN's Erin Andrews, the reporter who was filmed in the nude without her consent a few weeks back, can be seen in a new set of "dirty" photos. This time it was intentional, though. [NYDN]
• Celine Dion and the man she calls her husband (but who we always confuse with her grandfather for some reason) are expecting their second child. [OK]
• Leighton Meester was shouting and carrying on with her friends at Philippe in East Hampton last weekend, much to the annoyance of other diners present like NBC chief Jeff Zucker and billionaire Steve Schwarzman. [P6]

Who should feel more embarrassed about the story on the front page of the Daily News today? Bernie Madoff, who will have to go through life knowing that not only do people despise him for carrying out the biggest fraud in history, they all now know he has a small penis, too? Or Sheryl Weinstein, the author of the new tell-all, who squeezes in the fact that he "was not well-endowed," but says sex with him left her "on fire" nonetheless, and he was a pretty good kisser to boot? Maybe it's Weinstein's husband, Ronald, who lost all his money to Madoff and now gets to spend his penniless golden years with the woman who will be forever known as the one who dished about the size of Madoff's member? It's hard to say, isn't it? [NYDN]

Arguably the best thing about the Colbert Report is the regular "Better Know a District" segment where Stephen interviews various members of Congress. Tonight he interviewed the openly gay Jared Polis of Colorado's 2nd district and it was hilarious.

Surely you've heard about the squirrel that photo-bombed a Minnesota couple's timed shot on a Canadian lake? The whole world's gone mad over it! Well now you can have your own photos squirrelized by "that squirrel" as well! [The Squirrelizer]

An unnamed model wears designs by Jayson Brunsdon on the catwalk during the Sydney Fashion Festival 2009 Gala Opening in Sydney, Australia. [Getty/Lucas Dawson]

Yesterday in Norwalk, Connecticut the contents of former Penthouse publisher Bob Guccione's massive former townhouse were auctioned off for charity. Not surprisingly, some of the items in the auction were, uh, different, which somehow caught some potential buyers by surprise.

Monday wasn't good to former Everybody Loves Raymond star Patricia Heaton. First a former assistant filed a lawsuit against her for unpaid wages, then she made a fool of herself on national television. Seriously, you have to see this.

You know those posters of Obama looking like the Joker from Batman with the word "socialism" underneath? The creator of that creepy image has emerged, and it's not some "real" American from a red state. Far from it.

Socialgay Kristian Laliberte's weekend was below average. On Saturday, he was hanging out at Georgica being fabulous when someone "assaulted" him by calling him a "Jew" and a "fag." Worse, the "douche" wasn't kicked out because he's a big spender!

• Marc Jacobs' wedding to Lorenzo Martone, which the designer says will happen "soon," is going to have a ridiculously exclusive guest list. Not a single friend or family member will be getting an invite, since it's just going to be the two of them. [Cut]
• Project Runway finally returns to the air on Thursday evening. So will the Lifetime iteration be the same show you remember from its run on Bravo? Not so much, it seems. [NYDN]
• Meanwhile, Nina Garcia will be making an appearance this fall on the new CW series, The Beautiful Life. [FWD]
• The website and schedule for Fashion's Night Out is now online. The retail pep rally, which goes down on Sept. 10, will include Anna Wintour and Michael Kors signing t-shirts at a Macy's in Queens, believe it or not.

Bryan Appleyard's lengthy Steve Jobs profile in the Times of London breaks no real news about the Apple CEO. And yet everyone's talking about it. Why? Because Apple tried so hard to stop the story.

[Australia's Next Top Model winner Tahnee Atkinson is at the center of 50 other models dressed up as Audrey Hepburn to hype the actress' 80th birthday during the Rosemont Sydney Fashion Festival. Image via Getty.]

Karl Rove couldn't get on Twitter's watch list; Julia Allison was unable to broadcast a portion of her life and a comedian was unimpressed with comically large food. The Twitterati felt out of character.

How did Annie Leibovitz end up $24 million in the hole? New York magazine's Andrew Goldman has cataloged her wildly ill-advised spending flourishes. Oh, and the money behind her glorified pawnshop loan came from none other than Goldman Sachs.

Superfamous Bollywood star Shahrukh Khan was racially profiled in the USA! For Indians, it's big news. But for Americans, it's unsettling—where do Indians fall on the "Racial Profile Outrage" scale? A complete cross-racial guide for you!

Usually the week before Project Runway starts there is a noticeable buzz in the air—at least in circles who obsess about the show. This year the mood seems more like Christmas Eve in Israel. Why the collective shrug?

What's old is apparently new again for Eric Schmidt: Not only is the Google CEO rumored to be hanging out with ex-girlfriend Marcy Simon, now we hear the two have been visiting together on Fire Island, just like old times.

Looks like we're not the only ones watching Mad Men. 2.8 million watched the premiere, up 33% from last season's debut of 2 million viewers. Can Don Draper hold their interest?

• A TGI Friday's and Tim Hortons in Union Square? The Riese Organization, which just acquired the building that once housed Zen Palate, says it will bring the chains to the 'hood if it can't find a higher-paying tenant. Uh oh. [Crain's]
• The Beatrice Inn isn't expected to reopen, but co-owner Paul Sevigny has another venue in the works. He's opening a club/restaurant in SoHo, and this time around it will be located "away from residential areas." [NYT]
• Billy Gilroy (Employees Only, Macao Trading Co.) and photographer Patrick McMullan plan to open East Side Social Club in Midtown in late October. [SB]