Grizzled CNN war correspondent Michael Ware just got done spending seven years in Iraq. Soon he'll go to rugged-est Afghanistan. But for now, he's living in... Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Quick, what's the joke?

When it comes to plot details, producers of Mad Men are as tight lipped as an Olsen twin at an all-you-can-eat buffet. So, what happens in episode two three? One phrase: "I'm Peggy Olson and I want to smoke marijuana."

[Ellen Page and Leonardo DiCaprio—taking a break from being Scorsese's muse—get blown away filming a scene for Christopher Nolan's Inception in Paris yesterday. Image via Flynet]

What does Heidi Klum have in common with Nadya Suleman, the woman better known as "Octomom"? They're both responsible for turning women into "bumpaholics," or women who have become obsessed with getting pregnant. At least that's what several experts suggest in a recent article in Women's Health, arguing that "celebs photographed cuddling one adorable infant after the next, plus infamous moms who steal the spotlight when they give birth to higher order multiples, are stoking the flames of pregnancy lust in some women."

Alain de Botton is a respected European writer who was ready to bite the arms off anyone standing in the way of his contract to spend a week sitting in an airport, writing a boring airport book. Writing careers suck.

Left: Andrew Hearst imagines what a shotgun merger between Out and Car & Driver might look like. Right: The work of artist Nate Page, who carves out layers of fashion magazines to "reveal the rainbow of colors behind the images," an artistic style, we're guessing, that's become considerably more difficult now that most glossies have been sliced in half. [Vanity Fair, PSFK]

Republicans will not support a "co-op" compromise. Republicans will not support health care reform that does anything. So let's all make sure to keep them involved in the process! [TWI]

Sometimes famous people have problems, and that's why they're crazy. So, who is the actress blaming her behavior on lady troubles? Speaking of troubles, here's a celeb coke-induced nose rebuilding and reality stars behaving badly. Celebrities: they're just like us!

This is the new path to success: quit Wall Street, drive a cab, and then make it big in the TV business. Are you listening, laid off derivatives traders? It works!

The Daily News haunted us all yesterday with info about Bernie Madoff's package, details contained in Sheryl Weinstein's new book about her lengthy affair with the convicted fraudster. If what the News printed wasn't quite enough for you and only left you wanting more, Bloomberg delivers with even more specifics today, including the revelation that "not only was it on the short side," but "it was small in circumference," too. If you give it a read, be aware that you may need to shower when you're done. [Bloomberg]

Lindsay Lohan buying a bottle of water downtown ... Mary-Kate Olsen leaving a yoga class in SoHo ... Christina Applegate arriving at ABC studios in Midtown ... Sienna Miller shopping at Williams-Sonoma in SoHo ... Mark McGrath walking downtown ... Renee Zellweger getting in an SUV after an appearance on Good Morning America ... Liev Schreiber carrying his bike into his apartment in NoHo ... Amanda Seyfried shooting scenes for Letters to Juliet in Bryant Park ... Nikki Sixx leaving his hotel ... Blake Lively hailing a cab, and later talking to Sebastian Stan on a Gossip Girl shoot at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens ... Viola Davis walking in Tribeca ... and Whitney Port going grocery shopping at the Citarella in SoHo.

Robert Pattinson whines about not getting more hot chicks, Brad Pitt is a joint-rolling artist, Kate Major says boning Jon Gosselin was "amazing," Mariah Carey disses the Grammys, Alicia Silverstone gets naked and David Cook is dating an older woman.

• Six months ago Lenny Kravitz temporarily pulled his penthouse off the market. Now we know why. The 6,000-square-foot loft at at 30 Crosby Street, which the rocker has been trying to sell on-and-off since 2004, underwent a complete renovation. The price of the brighter, much less somber space hasn't changed, however: It's still up for sale for $14.995 million. [Curbed, Corcoran]
• Johnson & Johnson heiress Jaime Johnson—she's the daughter of Jets owner Woody Johnson and the sister of tabloid staple Casey Johnson—has paid $2.654 million for a two-bedroom loft at 285 Lafayette Street. The seller, Lucy Waletzky, is the daughter of Laurence Rockefeller and a great-granddaughter of John D. Rockefeller. [NYO]

It's been a few weeks since we've heard anything about Ali Wise, our favorite computer-hacking, Kabbalah-loving, former publicist who says she's "taking the summer off" to concentrate on "new projects." But we were pleased to see her put in an appearance at the Inglorious Basterds premiere the other night. And we were even more pleased to see her in the company of her good friend Lindsay Lohan. If you're navigating the criminal justice system and dealing with defense attorneys, you might as well get a bit of advice from an expert, right? [GoaG]

William Jefferson Clinton—the man, the myth, the legend—celebrates his 63rd birthday today. The former First Lady of the United States, Tipper Gore, is turning 61. Actress Kyra Sedgwick is 44. New York City councilmember Melinda Katz is turning 44, too. Friends star Matthew Perry is 40. Former presidential candidate Fred Thompson is 67. GOP political operative Mary Matalin is 56. Literary agent Lynn Nesbit is turning 71. Actor Peter Gallagher turns 54. Entourage's Kevin Dillon turns 44. Oscar-winning composer Gustavo Santaolalla is 57. Rapper Fat Joe is turning 39. Country singer Lee Ann Womack is 43. And one of the greatest actors of his generation, John Stamos, will be blowing out 46 candles on his cake today.

In November of 2000, if you'd have bet your life against the fact that the man representing Bush in the case of Bush v. Gore would one day lead the fight to legalize gay marriage, you'd be dead now.

• Kate Moss took notice of those photos of her in St. Tropez last month looking a little worse for the wear. She's supposedly changing up her lifestyle in an effort to "look 10 years younger," and she'll be eating healthier food, drinking less alcohol, and smoking fewer cigarettes from now on. [DM]
• Vogue editrix Anna Wintour was "advised" to leave her trademark sunglasses at home when she turns up as a guest on Dave Letterman's show next week. It was advice she didn't much appreciate, however. [P6]
• Gayle King demoted? Oprah says Jay-Z is her "new best friend." [People]
• Mariah Carey's new album hasn't been beset with problems. The decision to push back the release date, so it's one day too late to qualify for the Grammys? That's because she's fighting back against the system, don't you see? [NYDN]

Last night Barney Frank held a health care town hall meeting in Massachusetts. Near the end, a woman stepped to the podium and asked, "Why do you continue to support a Nazi policy?" Frank then eviscerated her completely.

On Saturday in Southern California a suitcase was discovered inside of a trash receptacle with a corpse stuffed inside. The deceased has been identified as model/stripper/Playboy representative Jasmine Fiore, and her reality star husband is currently on the run.