Her Majesty of Outlandishness Björk and her avante garde filmmaker husband Matthew Barney have shelled out several million for a house in Brooklyn Heights. From the look of the pictures, they've got a lot of remodeling to do.

Glenn Beck's not on Fox News this week, leaving everyone to wonder why not and, more importantly, where he went. Forced off the air by an advertiser boycott? The Hamptons? An Obama re-education camp? We know where, but not why.

It is time to ban candle-burning in restaurants, bars, hospitals, and other workplaces: they give you cancer. Experts have proven it with science!

There's nothing better to do on a stifling day in August with absolutely no news than to watch inspirational Super Squat videos. Here's Tom Platz with 23 reps of 500 pounds! Super Squats are my bear videos. [Start the journey!]

• Cooking shows are all the rage right now with the Food Network and Travel Channel both witnessing record ratings. Real estate shows, however, have been bombing. Why? "Food can take away the pain." [Bloomberg]
• A Q&A with Danny Meyer, who says he hopes to regain the star that his Union Square Cafe lost recently just as soon as Sam Sifton takes over as Times dining critic, and that his big pet peeve are dishes with hazelnuts in them. [RG]
• Steve Hanson reports the eatery he's opening in the former Hog Pit space on Ninth Avenue will be casual American spot called Bill's Bar & Burger. [NYT]
• The chance the fish you're eating does not have some mercury in it? Virtually nil, according to a new report by government scientists. [NYT]

"Pursue a certificate in terrorism!" Google's worst contextual ads, as collected by Business Insider.

[Jude Law makes a face every male knows well on his way out of the Windham Theater in London last night. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

As always, there's both some good and bad economic news today. The not-too-encouraging: The New York State Department of Labor reports that New York City's unemployment rate jumped to 9.6 percent last month, "surpassing the national unemployment rate for the first time since the recession began." Much better: Morgan Stanley is hiring 400 new employees! (If you don't know anything about emerging markets, foreign exchange, and/or derivatives, however, don't even bother taking the time to hunt for the latest version of your resume.) Regardless, feel free to focus on whichever piece of news suits you, depending on whether you're the glass-half-full or glass-half-empty type. [NYT, AP]

To the government, Kevin Mitnick was "the most wanted computer criminal in United States history." To the data-shuffling dimwits at AT&T, he's just a confused and annoying customer, who is totally making things up about his phone being hacked.

Yesterday, a bunch of experts said Heidi Klum could be a "bumpaholic"—a woman obsessed with getting pregnant—since she's only 36 and she's due to have her fourth kid this fall. Now she tells USA Today that the baby she's expecting in October is going to be her last. Coincidence? You be the judge! [USA Today, previously]

Here, perhaps the single most bootleg photo editing job ever, which spared 1971 LA Times readers the horror of seeing Charlton Heston bare-chested. Click to enlarge it right this instant. [LAT via Sociological Images]

You know that movie James Cameron has been working on for more than 10 years and spent more than $200 million dollars? Turns out it's just a bunch of blue cartoons? We feel cheated.

Today is "Bucket O' Gold Day" and there's treasure to be found all over the city. So head out with your buddies to an Irish pub in search of buckets of liquid gold: Corona.

A new documentary called Art & Copy —opening this week—showcases the origins of America's most famous ad slogans. It's from the "Drama, Power, Persuasion" school of advertising industry portrayal. In Australia, there's an example of the other school:

Last time we checked in with brilliant political thinker and former assistant US Attorney Andy McCarthy, he was writing Obama/Ahmadinejad slashfic. Today he is writing about fashion!

In your desperate Thursday media column: America's toddler journalist has a lesson for Wolf Blitzer, college football wants to muzzle bloggers, newspapers burn, and ESPN magazine is mad cheap!

A Seattle woman has accused magician David Copperfield of luring her to his remote private island in the Caribbean, raping her repeatedly, and threatening to kill her if she told anyone. Her complaint reads like a horrifying pulp novel.

• Get ready to see commercials appear inside magazines. CBS is embedding tiny screens in an upcoming issue of Entertainment Weekly, which will play a clip promoting the network's fall season. What will it look like? Like this. [WSJ]
• Poor Rupert: The billionaire chairman of News Corp. only collected a compensation package of $18 million for the most recent fiscal year, which is down from $30 million, or 40 percent, from a year earlier. [AP]
• David Letterman continues to beat Conan O'Brien in the ratings. [NYT]
• Did Glenn Beck get yanked off the air after stirring up so much controversy recently, or is he on a regularly scheduled vacation? It's a mystery! [Politico]
• 60 Minutes is planning to air a tribute to Don Hewitt this Sunday. [NYT]
• Meghan McCain is returning to The View as a guest host. How thrilling. [NYP]
• Reader's Digest is one step closer to officially filing for bankruptcy. [NYT]
• What is Jayson Blair, the disgraced ex-New York Times reporter, up to these days? He's a "certified life coach" for a mental health facility. [Gawker, AP]

The federal complaint against magician David Copperfield alleging that he repeatedly raped and threatened to kill a fan that he lured to his private island in his Caribbean.

"Can a candlelit dinner give you cancer?" New research today suggests that, yes, that charming, romantic dinner your boyfriend was planning in your honor may just have been an attempt to kill you. [NYDN]