We have no clue what he does in his personal life, but James Franco's professional life just got even pinker, if you can imagine. Now he's taking a Queer Cinema class at NYU!

In case you missed the endless stream of lies Bill Clinton told about himself and others during his presidency, it turns out he was telling other, secret lies into a tape recorder the whole time. Now you can read them.

Did you attend the fourth annual Values Voters Summit at Washington's Omni Shoreham Hotel? No? You missed some awesome Breakout Sessions.

There is nothing—nothing—more American than McDonald's. So would weird, less-American competitors please stop trying to overtake McDonald's dominance? Soon, Subway will have more stores than McD's. What pansy message does this send to the world? Americans eat cucumbers?!?

Claiming this year's Emmys are better than your typical awards show is a bit like saying the bagel that's been lying on the kitchen floor for two weeks and gnawed by mice isn't too bad with a little cream cheese.

Many things happened last night on Mad Men, but the one that everyone will remember was when poor, poor Englishman Guy got his foot run over by a John Deere tractor. In fact, it was a bloody good show.

UPDATED: The story behind our Cowbeast of Death, his mugshot, and his name.

Are you quietly stalking someone and too dense to figure out their sexual orientation from Google searches, Flickr party photos and real-life gossip? Well, a couple of MIT geniuses invented just the tool for you.

Hunting down celebrities and taking their pictures—work carried out by thousands of paparazzi photographers every day—hasn't changed much over the past few years. The cameras are better and the lenses are longer. But the job still necessitates someone patiently waiting for hours outside the Bowery Hotel so that when Lindsay Lohan finally emerges, a thousand photos can be snapped of her in the six seconds it takes the actress to get from the door of the hotel to her waiting car. But technology could change the celebrity-industrial complex forever if Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich has anything to do with it:

Volunteers handing out today's Fake New York Post outside of the Post's headquarters at the News Corp building "were detained by police and their papers were confiscated," according to witnesses. Lame, New York Post. Super lame. UPDATE: NYP statement below.

Some people can't log in into their Facebook accounts, according to widespread reports on Twitter. Apparently, a subset of these people have even resigned themselves to becoming productive employees, on this Monday morning. Horrifying. [Business Insider] [Pic]

Good news for the newspapers industry! The rate of catastrophic quarterly decline in ad revenue is slowing, slightly. Looks like that strategy of "Ohmigod, Jesus Christ...just fire everybody" is finally paying off, very modestly!

So. Obama sent New York governor David Paterson a letter asking him to not run for governor. Dumb! Because David Paterson is sensitive! And New York needs a governor who does not think everyone is out to get him.

Further evidence that the fear that crippled Wall Street a year ago has almost entirely lifted: JPMorgan, which cut the dinner allowance for bankers who stay late in the office from $20 to $25 last spring, just bumped it back up to $25. [Dealbreaker]

The New York Times, which six months ago forced staffers to take a 5% paycut, has been overpaying its publisher and CEO for nearly two years in violation of its own compensation rules. We're supposed to bail these people out?

Yuppie entrepreneurs across brownstone Brooklyn are uniting to protect their communities: Instead of competing, why not have all the cheese shops, wine shops, coffee shops, and yoga studios band together, as a chain? Keep out those dreaded other chains!

Libyan leader Moammar Khadafy won't be staying at the Pierre Hotel when he descends on NYC this week to attend the opening session of the U.N. General Assembly. Hotel guests outraged by the plan seem to have forced Libya to change its plans and he'll now be staying at the Libyan Mission to the U.N. instead. Not that staying at a building owned by his own government isn't still creating drama. It seems a dog peed on the red carpet that had been rolled out to welcome Khadafy, and "aggravated Libyan officials were forced to cut away a section of the carpet that stretched across the E. 48th St. sidewalk from the curbs to the steps." [NYDN, previously]

[Jon Stewart plays candy man backstage after winning two Emmy awards last night. Image via Getty]

The Wall Street Journal's award-worthy "this is what former rich people are up to" coverage continues today with a story on how so many Americans are dropping everything to "hike the Appalachian Trail."

Rap music: Will it ever stop inspiring America's youth to commit multiple homicides? Not likely, if the sad case of Richard "Syko Sam" McCroskey is any indication. Because he's charged with killing four people.