Think you have it bad? Check out these 10 comic book disasters. Infinite Earths, man!

Did you know that our President and his wife are black? Well, they are, and Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi finds that endlessly humorous.

Some twisted soul posted a Facebook poll yesterday asking whether or not President Obama should be assassinated. Obviously that's a big no-no, and now Facebook and the Secret Service have joined forces to form an elite crime fighting team.

Absolutely incredible! Drudge Report's injecting its very special, racially-tinted take into the Derrion Albert conversation. And taking on the big Obama-backed Olympic's in Chicago plan, which has the right all riled up. This is news fusion at its greatest.

In somewhat lighter news, let's all can the schadenfreude surrounding the cancellation of Mischa Barton's horrible model soap, The Beautiful Life. But think of all the lost souls cast out into the streets, like actress Sara Paxton.

Sept. 28 @ 3pm [Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com] Walking down the street in each others arms. They looked very happy and smitten. Flanked by what I assume were 2 bodyguards.

Derrion Albert, Chicago-based 16-year old who attended Bible Class every week, was beaten to death on September 24. A bystander's video captured the truly horrific ordeal. Four alleged attackers are now being charged as adults. And we have some questions.

Martha Stewart is inviting bloggers with iPhones and laptops into her studio audience. If it's an odd move for the notorious control freak, it's also a recipe for free publicity — and awful television.

Laurel Touby found out just how tough her underlings have had it; David Lynch said something appropriately cryptic and JDate tested a cranky, fasting Jew's patience. The Twitterati got deeper into their grooves.

[A man dressed as Hindu deity Hanuman leads a procession of other gods during the Dussehra festival in Amritsar today. Image via Getty]

Oh, god, Sarah Palin named her terrible book Going Rogue. She literally did this thing. It is a reference to when she lost the election for John McCain.

Elon Musk and Hendrik Fisker are mortal enemies in the green car business. Yet the feds just split a billion dollars between the two companies. If that sounds like a bad idea, blame Al Gore.

Richard Whitehurst is an artist in Columbus, Ohio. He's building a big wooden tunnel, and if you crawl through it, he will rape you [Update: Or will he??].

It's funny the things that sneak up on you after a life spent in narcoleptic yammering with the giants of our age. What with the crazy hours and interviews to prep — starting a family just falls between the cracks.

We've gotten most of the new series premieres out of the way, and a funny thing happened—most of them are doing pretty well. What does all this mean?

Palestinian refugees can now enjoy the world's first-ever street named after Twitter following a Dutchman's $146 donation. Good luck explaining Twitter to your kids, refugee camp parents, or giving out your address. At least the money goes to charity.

Kerry Lynn McCashin, daughter of Mrs. Lynn McCashin and Dr. Fred McCashin of Southern Pines, N.C., was married yesterday to Christopher Porter Batty, son of Mrs. Jill Corbett and Mr. Derek Batty of Long Island, N.Y. Time to embarrass them.

The Washington Post discovers a new trend: "Fixed gear bikes," which young folks are reportedly riding all over DC, trendily. This is why we need newspapers. You just don't get this stuff from blogs. [WaPo. Pic via]

[Tom Cruise spots the return of his alien lord Xenu while staring up into the vanilla sky. Image via INF]

The Way We Live Now: Rootin-tootin! Hot as a tamale! The market is booming! Stocks are soaring! Investors are throwing, literally, packets of money, as projectiles! They hit companies and companies merge together! Bulls are running the streets! Dangerously!