The Way We Live Now: Mired in interdemographic battle. Urban hippies, just taking up space. Stay-at-home moms, who quit the rat race. Blue collar hardhats, fallen from grace. Let's all have a Battle Royale.

It's kind of like getting laid on Manhunt. If you want to be on Logo's Kept, you have to be hot, fabulous, have a place to live, and have pictures, lots and lots of pictures!

• Comcast denied the rumors yesterday, but it now appears the cable giant is involved in talks to take a controlling stake in NBC Universal. [NYT, NYT]
• It hasn't been smooth sailing for Jay Leno since his primetime show debuted—ratings have been slipping and the critical buzz has been lousy—but now it looks like NBC has another problem to worry about: CBS and ABC have both been actively discouraging their stars from appearing on the show. [LAT]
• Bravo reports it's developing solo series for three of its reality TV stars: Bethenny Frankel, Christian Siriano and Top Chef's Fabio Viviani. [Variety]
• Meanwhile, Logo is casting its gay version of the Real Housewives. [Gawker]
• Maybe the magazine industry isn't dead, after all: American Media plans to launch a new bridal title in early 2010 called Shapebride. [WWD]

Mark Zuckerberg is said by Forbes to be worth $2 billion, up $500 million from last year and equal to the lifetime earnings of around 2,000 of the Facebook founder's fellow non-college-graduates. What a difference six months makes.

In your conspiratorial Thursday media column: The New Yorker hates Brazil, Laurel Touby bids you farewell, Pinch Sulzberger ups his humor quotient, and sexism exists.

Big news from the Bravo universe, as a host of its stars break out on their own. Oh, and Padma's hiding a big secret in the Top Chef oven.

This hasn't been a very good year for Ira Rennert, the shadowy tycoon who built a fortune by scooping up steel, magnesium, coal, and lead companies around the world. Rennert reportedly lost $100-$200 million by investing his money with Bernie Madoff (although considering the new installment of the Forbes 400 lists his net worth at $4 billion, it's not like he's going to have to start panhandling anytime soon). Today, however, there's a bit of good news for Rennert: According to Zillow.com, Rennert's ridiculously massive house in the Hamptons once again takes top honors for being the largest home in the U.S. Don't believe it? A few photos of Rennert's 66,395-square-foot, 29-bed, 39-bath Italianate mansion are below.

Larry Ellison threw a fantastic tantrum against the mindless cult of "Cloud Computing," a fascination of "nitwit" Silicon Valley investors, as Ellison calls them. But the Oracle CEO was himself once a "nitwit." Just look:

When sometimes Columbia/NYU student James Franco was thinking about his next project, at what point did he think, "I know: a soap. Eureka!" Well, ladies and gentlemen, this is really going to happen. Thank God for DVR!

Outgoing Bank of America CEO Ken Lewis has $53 million in pension benefits waiting for him when he leaves. [Fortune]

Everyone's talking about The Wrap's report last night that cable giant Comcast is in talks to buy NBC Universal. We don't know if it's true or not, but one thing's for certain: If it is, Tina Fey is screwed.

Hipster Grifter pal Bucky Turco has posted a gen-u-ine letter from folk hero Kari Ferrell, who's currently in jail in Salt Lake City and way bored. Who has she met, during her incarceration? "Every one of those Homiez figurines."

The only thing gayer than Kristen Chenoweth singing a Liza Minnelli song from Cabaret on Glee is...well, there is nothing gayer than Kristen Chenoweth singing a Liza Minnelli song from Cabaret on Glee. And it was glorious!

Reality TV stars artfully bare their souls on camera and in the tabloids, and even better, they do it all without a script. But a TV show is only the first step to building a brand, and now countless pseudo-celebs are milking their 15 minutes and peddling products that you couldn't possibly live without. (Or so they say!) We compiled the most promising items from the brightest minds in faux-showbiz. With these ladies' designs in your style arsenal, your look will never be the same.

It was inevitable that someone smarter than us would go ahead and open up a journalism school that teaches kids how to write for tabloids. But the Russians? We're ashamed of ourselves.

When Mayor Bloomberg first brought up the idea of banning smoking at parks and public beaches a couple of weeks ago, he said the issue would require further study, especially since it would be a tricky law to enforce, at least in the absence of an extra 5,000 or so cops assigned to smoke patrol. Well, Bloomberg seems to have concluded His study and figured out how to make it work. Because he now says he's going to move ahead with the plan. Enjoy that last cigarette in Central Park while you still can, smokers. [NYDN, previously]

Warning: Jeremy Piven has resumed eating fish. All Broadway shows are doomed.

A Portsmouth, Ohio, blogger recently asked the mayor for some documents under the state's public records law. The mayor said, "Sure." And also: "You're a worthless piece of s**t and I wouldn't p**s on you if you were on fire."

Us Weekly is reporting (and has confirmed) that Padma Lakshmi is with child. It's a particularly welcome development for Lakshmi, who suffers from endometriosis and has had difficulty conceiving over the years. Although when her publicist asks that the media respect the Top Chef host's privacy, it probably doesn't have all that much to do with her medical condition, which she's never been shy about discussing:

Parenthood these days: It is full of challenges, or so we hear! As a parent, will you be able to successfully continue jogging? And what about your tennis game, and the peer pressure that goes with it? Parenting is hard!