If you're currently jobless, consider the bright side: workplace deaths in New York City are on the rise! [AP]

In your spirited Wednesday media column: George Stephanopoulos should listen to his kids, Conde Nast forswears frequency cuts, France has a wacky newspaper scheme, and we have the menu for GQ's dinner tonight.

Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme ultimately defrauded investors out of $21.2 billion, according to Irving Picard, the court-appointed trustee overseeing the case. That's considerably more than the $13 billion put forward by prosecutors at Madoff's sentencing in June. But that's a lot less than the $65 billion that's been bandied about for many months now, which includes the fictitious profits Madoff had "made" for his clients. The revised figure won't diminish his status as the biggest fraudster in American history. Madoff can still hold his head high when he steps into the prison yard and rest assured no one's taking that trophy away from him anytime soon. [NYT]

What do you do when you write a million columns unsubtly disparaging a man as feminine, and then it turns out that he talks sports and golfs exclusively with men? If you're Maureen Dowd, you just crank out another column.

Tom McGeveran, who took over as editor of the New York Observer after longtime editor Peter Kaplan left earlier this year, told his staff today that he's leaving the paper at the end of the year. Who can blame him?

For all the hype about Apple's reportedly forthcoming tablet computer, there was a time when the company wanted nothing to do with the devices. That time lasted nearly 20 years, starting with this thing, the Pen Mac.

With Halloween just a few days away, we thought we'd call up a handful of notable New Yorkers and find out what they're planning to dress up as this year. We'll be running these for the next couple of days. In this first installment, here's what a spokesperson for Vogue had to say when we called and asked what Anna Wintour was planning for October 31: "She has no plans to get in costume this year for Halloween." Oh, well. Fortunately, we'll have some more inspiring answers for you in just a bit. (MF)

Marvin the Paranoid Android (1981)
Who is the most important character from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Well - Radiohead wrote a song about him, and eventually Alan Rickman would portray him in a film, but in 1981 Marvin made a name for himself on the boob toob. Never before had such a clinically depressed robot hit the airwaves. This is another metallic member of TV Land we can thank Britannia for.

Last night was the premiere of This Is It, and there were galas in 16 cities around the world. Most of them were huge, ornate affairs. Except in New York, where barely anyone noticed.

This article today does us all a great service by reminding us to remind you that numerology—like the concept of juice-based "cleansing" systems—is bullshit. If you believe in it, stop now. It is so dumb.

Sarah Palin received at least $1.25 million to write her chapter book, Goin' Rogue, Also: An American Tail. If that is it, it is much less than Tina Fey got, which is amusing.

According to new research, eating fast food and candy is almost as addictive as doing heroin. Almost. [Telegraph]

Does this antipsychotic medication make me look fat? Yes. Ugly or crazy? Your choice.

Glenn Beck's public image as a grandiose paranoid ex-drunk is so unshakable that now he's hoping his publicist Matthew Hiltzik's good reputation will rub off on him: He's got such a nice flack, he can't really be a monster, right?

In Moore's story—which, we remind you again, was an amusing anecdote delivered on a late-night comedy talk show program—he went to Chavez's hotel room to ask him to please quiet down and ended up partying with him all night. They consumed a bottle and a half of tequila. And the punchline was that Chavez's speech to the UN was made up mostly of things Moore said to him, while drunk.

In one way, Marc Ecko's a role model: He started with style and a dream and made it to the top of pop fashion. In a more accurate way, Marc Ecko is a walking "What Not to Do" guide.

Good news for senior execs at bailed-out banks and auto companies. While Treasury Department "pay czar" Ken Feinberg announced last week that he was slashing overall compensation at the companies under his control, he's since decided to raise base salaries. Why? Because the banks complained, of course, which prompted Feinberg to re-review the matter.

[Katie Couric can do nothing but laugh as Annie Liebovitz tries to pawn anything that's not nailed down last night during a panel discussion at the 2009 Women's Conference in Long Beach, Calif. Image via Getty]

Last night a bunch of people who work in mainstream media arbitrarily divided themselves in half in order to argue over the vague, meaningless proposition, "Good Riddance to Mainstream Media." It was great fun to watch. Fake issue, real animosity!

Remember when Donald was tricked into renting his Bedford estate to Libya during last month's opening session of the UN General Assembly? Consider the score settled, even if Donald didn't have anything to do with it. To promote its new line of chicken sandwiches, an actor dressed as Colonel Sanders managed to sneak his way into the UN yesterday and ended up scoring a photo op with a Libyan diplomat. Not that the official should have been expected to recognize the colonel. Libyais one of the few countries that remains KFC-free (and may very well remain that way after this little international incident). [NYDN]