• Former General Electric CEO Jack Welch has closed on the purchase of an apartment on the 46th-floor of One Beacon Court. It's located next door to the apartment he already owns. And the legendary exec—who just got out of the hospital a couple of weeks ago—scored a pretty good deal, too: Welch paid $8.3 million for the apartment, or nearly $1 million less than what it was first listed for back in February. [Cityfile, previously]
• Kimora Lee Simmons has dropped the price of her blingtastic mansion in Saddle River, NJ. The four-acre estate, which first went on the market for $23 million last year, is now listed for just $16.5 million. [NYP, Sotheby's]
• Restaurant mega-publicist and Iron Chef America judge Karine Bakhoum has put her co-op at 205 East 69th Street on the market. The three-bedroom pad with fireplace and chef's kitchen is listed for $2.35 million. [NYP, Halstead]

New Yorker editor David Remnick turns 51 today. Winona Ryder is 38. Richard Dreyfuss is turning 62. Gabrielle Union is turning 37. Actress Joely Fisher is 42. Gallerist Mary Boone is 58. Soap star Finola Hughes is turning 49. Social fixture and Cinema Society founder Andrew Saffir turns 43. Amanda Beard, the Olympic swimmer and occassional swimsuit model, is turning 28. And Dan Castellaneta, the voice of Homer Simpson, turns 52 today.

• Producers of Tinsley Mortimer's upcoming reality show have been looking to add more drama by staging catfights between her friends and sister and having her chase men who are really just actors. At least the producers have solved their other problem and found a few "friends" willing to appear on camera. Regulars will include Hannah Bronfman (the party-loving daughter of Edgar Jr.) and Paul Johnson-Calderon (the guy who was caught stealing purses last spring). Interesting. [P6]
• Anderson Cooper has been vacationing in India with man-friend Benjamin Maisani. And it sounds like they're having quite the time: "Cooper's $3,200-a-night room features a four-poster mahogany bed and views of the gardens of the former Maharaja palace." Oh, and this: "Anderson's room has a large round bathtub. On the first night it was filled with bubbles and sprinkled with red rose petals." How romantic. [P6]
• Madonna visited the Malawi orphanage where she adopted her son David and one of the orphans approached her and told her, "You are our god." Not surprisingly, Madonna "seemed cool with it." [Us]

Susan Finkelstein, a "gorgeous, tall, buxom blonde diehard Phillies fan", really, really wants to see the World Series. Is that a crime?

Mary Crowley loves to sail. But a few years ago, she discovered a problem. A problem fondly called The Great Garbage Patch.

Considering their billion dollar charitable trusts, the answer points to "No."

Chicago thinks it's so fancy with its cartoon-hating Youtube terrorists. Pfft. New Yorkers don't have time for penny ante stuff like that. Nothing less than providing arms to Hezbollah will do for us!

His normal work attire is hard to top, but as part of our ongoing series on Halloween costumes, we thought we'd ask the Naked Cowboy (aka Robert Burke) if he was planning to dress up as anything special this weekend.

Kate Hudson and A-Rod are still having sex all the time because they like it. New Yorkers agree that this is better than your mythical magic underpants. [Us Weekly]

Here is how he did it:

Nevermind that Obama's "pay Czar" will be slashing executive compensation at firms that received bailout money from the Feds. Daily Show "Resident Expert" John Hodgman wants CEO's blood—or at least their heads covered with bees.

This might be your final chance to take advantage of the services of Dignitas, the notorious Swiss "suicide clinic" that helps clients gracefully exit the crapfest we call "life". Swiss lawmakers are considering a ban on all suicide tourism.

My favorite Top Chef moments involve things bursting into flame. Sadly, that hasn't happened in the kitchen this year. Happily, the same isn't true of this live blog — you guys were on fire last week!

The founders of Reddit.com confirmed the rumors first aired here two weeks ago: they are leaving Wired Digital, which acquired their site in 2006. Bad news, but not unexpected. Here's Reddit's growth after spoiled Condé Nast execs took it over:

This weekend's New York Times Magazine cover story paints a fine-grained portrait of the Obamas, America's most-married powerful couple. And, according to Times political writer Jodi Kantor, this marriage has something important to tell us about Obama's presidency. But what?

• The critics: Sam Sifton of the Times heads to Flushing for Cantonese and bestows a star on Imperial Palace; Jay Cheshes of Time Out gives four stars to A Voce; New York's R&P rave about Steve Hanson's new Bill's Bar & Burger; GQ's Alan Richman very much disagrees; and the Post's cranky Steve Cuozzo finds that Agua Dulce only came through when they knew he was there.
• A look around Anthony and Tom Martignetti's Brinkley's in Nolita. [GS, Eater]
• Publicity hound Nello Balan is being sued for, like, the 78th time. [NYP]
• Meanwhile Table 8's co-owner is facing a messy criminal matter. [Eater, GS]
• Eric Ripert does not think it's okay that Roberto Cavalli has a habit of ordering food from one restaurant (Mañana) while he's sitting in another (Serafina). Not that anyone has ever tried to pull that at Le Bernardin. [GS]
• Jonathan Safran Foer turned poor Natalie Portman into a vegan. [HP]
• Pickles are having their moment in the sun. At last! [Zagat]

Verena von Pfetten found Levi Johnston "adorable;" Susan Orlean fell in love with a bird; and Kevin Rose rode a symbol of Tony Hawk's prowess; The Twitterati were crushing hard.

[The Ares X-1 test rocket, a possible replacement for the space shuttle, stands ready for its successful un-manned, two-minute test launch today in Cape Canaveral, Florida. Image via Getty]

It's been four long months we've spent mourning the death of the self-anointed King, a life of pr exploitation which segued beautifully into an afterlife of pr exploitation. But at last it seems the parade might be winding down.

This morning the world discovered what we told you last week: Levi Johnston is working on a book to talk trash about the Palins. Little Miss Sarah found out too, and she's so steamed she's up to her old shenanigans.