Sweeps week is coming up, so hey, a TV station in DC just had an idea: Breassstsss! Nekkid breasts on your television screen being beamed straight into your home, uncovered and uncensored! Because of news.

Blogger Mickey Kaus likes to send nastygrams to famous people, on Twitter, when the mood strikes him. And yet these messages sometimes disappear from Twitter search, despite the microblogging service's well-established technical competence. Mere coincidence — ha! — or conspiracy?

We've been on the edge of our seats wondering who public access porn queen Robin Byrd would be supporting in the 2010 elections. But she seems to have finally come to a decision, so you can now "lie back and get comfortable," so to speak.

Horrible racist Sgt. James Crowley and angry racialist professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. were spotted having beers at a Cambridge bar called River Gods last night. It's not the White House, but at least Biden wasn't there.

WSJ managing editor Robert Thomson announced that the newspaper — which has recently been crowing about having the largest circulation in the country (if you count online subscribers) — is shutting down its Boston bureau. Nine reporters will lose their jobs, and that's rotten. But the memo he sent out to the newsroom, and first obtained by Fishbowl's Amanda Ernst, says that while no other bureaus are slated for closure, other "unthinkable" changes may be coming to the Journal.

The gross domestic product jumped 3.5% last quarter—the first increase in more than a year—sparking a stock rally and talk of the end of the Great Recession. No, no one has any jobs yet, but stop complaining!

Rudy Giuliani will not be pulling his dusty Marilyn Monroe costume out of the closet this weekend, sadly. (It seems that while New Yorkers didn't have a problem with a mayor who occasionally cross-dressed, national voters picking their next president weren't quite as open-minded.) When we called Giuliani's office to find out what he was planning to wear for Halloween (if anything!), a spokesperson for the ex-mayor admitted that while she hadn't spoken to him about it, she didn't believe he had any plans to dress up: "He's likely to be in New Jersey campaigning for the gubernatorial candidate, Chris Christie," she said. [Previously]

Three-way sex officially becomes boring.

Wal-Mart is now offering coffins for sale on their website, at reasonable prices. The winner here: Consumers, who can save hundreds or thousands of dollars by buying their coffins at Walmart.com. Once again, Wal-Mart's low prices help American families save.

Though Levi Johnston's svengali Tank Jones told us last week that he was "90% sure" Levi would bare all for Playgirl, he has officially removed that pesky 10% uncertainty. Levi will be going, um, whole hog for his upcoming shoot.

Does riding a mechanical bull sound like a fun time? If you do decide to engage in the activity and you head over to Johnny Utahs, one of the few places in the area that has the gizmo set up for its customers, keep in mind that if you get wasted and then fall off the bucking beast and injure yourself, you probably won't get very far if you file a lawsuit against the restaurant for negligence.

When you think "Esquire's Greatest Achievements in Its 70+ Years of Design Innovation," you think "Hidden ads on the cover" and "That other weird flashing electronic cover gadget." Until this new doohickey!

[Demi Moore puts Ashton Kutcher on purse duty while while arriving at the GQ Gentlemen's Ball at the Edison Ballroom in New York last night. Image via INF]

Mischa Barton shopping downtown before heading to the gym ... Catherine Zeta-Jones crossing the street on the Upper East Side ... Christina Milian leaving her hotel ... Hugh Jackman walking daughter Ava to school ... Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves arriving at JFK ... Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg hanging out on the set of The Other Guys ... Michelle Williams walking daughter Matilda to school ... the singer Monica sitting in an SUV outside her hotel in Midtown ... Shakira standing in front of the Plaza Hotel ... and Sienna Miller walking her dog downtown.

Getting ugly doesn't mean you can act, but that's what this singing starlet who really wants in the movies thinks. Other ambitious types include a celeb who demands a mountain of swag and an obnoxious photographer. It's gonna get ugly.

Fashion's Night Out, last month's "largest single shopping event in the city's history," may not have actually involved all that much shopping. But it did get people to actually step into stores (which was a nice change of pace), and did provide the city's beleaguered retail industry with a psychic boost. So perhaps it's no surprise that the city and FNO czar Anna Wintour announced today that the event will return once again next year. If you're particularly excited by this news, head over to the official Fashion's Night Out website. The site now sports a clock so you can count down the days, minutes and seconds to September 9, 2010. [WWD, previously]

Sexxxy New York Post sex columnist and chief purveyor of thinly-veiled sexy bisexual fantasies Andrea Peyser knows this "Sex addict rehab" thing is for quitters. Take your sex rehab and shove it up the hole of your choice, sexy celebs!

This isn't shaping up to be a very good day for local TV news personalities. Mike Sheehan, the former cop and Fox 5 reporter who was dismissed from his job this spring after crashing his car into an NYPD horse has pleaded guilty to drunk driving charges. Meanwhile NY1 political anchor Dominic Carter goes to court today on charges he beat up his wife. [NYDN, NYP]

Press Release of the Day: Epic Hotel in Miami has some epic deals. Ah ah ah; White Party-Goers only!