Bad news for bagel-loving Upper West Siders: Helmer Toro, the owner of H&H, was placed in handcuffs this morning:

[Lydia Hearst shows a bunch of immovable dolls how this modeling thing is done at the MoMA's Second Annual Film Benefit honoring Tim Burton last night. Image via Getty]

Artist Clare Strand has created videos in which a certain act is repeated infinitely on video. Sleight of hand? Video trickery? It doesn't matter, it makes for entrancing video.

"Alcohol likely played a role" in fence-jump impalement of self-proclaimed ninja.

Supermodel Karolina Kurkova and fiance Archie Drury walking in Tribeca with their new baby ... Daniel Day-Lewis leaving the Plaza Hotel ... Uma Thurman walking her dogs downtown ... Halle Berry leaving Morandi after having lunch ... Elijah Wood carrying lunch on the set of The Romantics on Long Island ... Sandra Bullock walking into her hotel ... Fergie leaving her hotel ... Hugh Jackman jogging downtown and later taking daughter Ava for ice cream ... Taylor Momsen filming scenes for Gossip Girl with Chace Crawford ... Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban holding hands outside their apartment building ... Heidi Montag leaving the Waverly Inn.... and Maria Menounos riding in a pedicab in Midtown because she supposedly couldn't find a cab.

Tinsley Mortimer and Devorah Rose had a fake fight Monday night at a Guest of a Guest party in front of every New York social blogger and reporter and a camera crew. Welcome to the new process for feuding.

Kate Major quit her job at Star after falling in "love" with Octodad Jon Gosselin and living happily ever after for a month or so. But she didn't do it on a whim; she had the world's most comical "contract!"

Robert Byrd, our US Senator from the great state of West Virginia, has been a Senator since January 3, 1959, making him the longest-serving member in congressional history. He is 91 years old (his 92nd birthday is on Friday!) and third in line for the presidency should something happen to Obama, Biden, and Pelosi.

Citigroup has announced that it's raising salaries for several top execs at the partially government-owned bank. Fortunately, the list does not include Vikram Pandit, Citi's incompetent CEO. He'll continue to collect $1 a year for his services, which is still probably a dollar too much. [AP]

It all begins with a bubble. And ends with a tornado. In between? SCIENCE!

Despite its celebrity chefs and razor scooters, Google's New York office houses a surprisingly disgruntled workforce, judging from one informal survey: of 14 Gotham Googlers profiled by Business Insider, more than a third are said to be eyeing an exit.

A museum in Cologne, Germany, has a chilling exhibit on Nazi efforts to remove Christ from Christmas and replace Santa with a Norse god. Expect Glenn Beck to start talking about other people who hate Christmas in about six hours.

Judging purely by outward appearances, you might guess that Learning Annex instructor Donald Trump is still some sort of "big wheel" in the casino business. But actually he is barely even in the business any more, because he's a loser.

Midtown is really, really happening these days, have you heard? At least that's what the owners of restaurants that recently opened in—yes, you guessed it—Midtown are saying! And you can give all the credit to Monkey Bar co-owner and Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter since he "arguably foresaw and guaranteed the reinvigoration of the longtime social wasteland between 30th and 60th streets." Now he just has to find a way to reinvigorate that other project he spends time working on every so often! [NYO]

Everyone's airing their sex business. A star is texting pictures of her vagina and a married celeb chef is blabbing about her love-making secrets. Throw in a famous dad with a drug-addicted son, and we need interventions for all.

Watch as children gleefully giggle at watching a small dog chase a ball on a string around and around the kitchen.

Sure, you may be really worried about contracting swine flu and then spending the next couple of weeks confined to bed (or worse). But do you know who is totally psyched that Americans are in a state of panic about H1N1? Executives at Johnson & Johnson! It's J&J that makes Purell hand sanitizer. And it's making a fortune now that we're all buying the mystery goo by the truckload. It's even offsetting the fact that we're no longer showering as much as we used to.

This morning, we've updated our AP Layoff List post with multiple new tips, including bureau closures in the US and abroad, and names of some more layoff victims. We'll continue to update it as info comes in. [AP Layoff List]

Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy demands that you listen closely as he clears the air on this whole "Anthony Kennedy tried to censor a high school newspaper" thing, by blaming it on his staff. Anthony Kennedy loves kids. And newspapers!

Victims of Bernie Madoff have another $2 million to spread around. Three boats owned by the imprisoned fraudster were auctioned off in Florida yesterday and brought in about $1 million; a sport-fishing yacht owned by Bernie's former sidekick, Frank DiPascali, reeled in another $950,000. And Ruth Madoff's convertible found a new owner, too: The 1999 Mercedes with 12,000 miles on it sold for $30,000. [Bloomberg]