These plays are so sneaky, so diabolical, so full of rooski, you're sure to be scratching you head in amazement saying "hey, wha happened?" Football happened, my friends. Football. To the trickery!

Some people. Just because Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi reportedly fawned over a teenage lingerie model his wife wants a divorce, $300,000 a month and tens of millions up front.

In Addams Family Values, Christina Ricci's Wednesday Addams gives this hilarious and biting monologue about the first Thanksgiving and the last 200 years of Native American-white people relations. Click to watch.

We hope everyone is enjoying their Thanksgiving. As everyone gets ready to roast, fry, or otherwise cook their turkey, Gawker.TV would like to remind everyone about the importance of fire safety... with a round-up of our favorite turkey disasters.

Today's Retro Jam comes from 1992 and was "written about the plight of the homeless" and "encourages people not to ignore them just because of their status or how they look." Would you call it a success?

Misery loves company, so write your Turkey Day terror tales in the original post's comments section. It's like liveblogging torture. For those of you without internet access, we've extended the contest deadline to Monday so you can share your pain.

Recipe websites get a huge spike on Thanksgiving day. The New York Times, which loves a trend, analyzes them all. Cheese balls in the Midwest! Sweet potatoes in North Carolina! Something called the Broccoli Casserole belt!

Happy Thanksgiving! Also, Roman Polanski is probably out of jail today.

Awww this baby kitten likes getting tickled. Watch her writhe around happily after the jump.

You are probably at this very moment attempting to communicate with family members you have almost nothing in common with. What do you do if it turns out Aunt Edwina is a birther?

Watch as these adorable children reenact the real story of Thanksgiving. You know, the one that involved raping, pillaging, and destroyed your holiday spirit when you learned the truth in History class.

November 26, 1977 was the day we made contact. The voice of 'Vrillion' of 'Ashtar Galactic Command' took over British television airwaves for a full six minutes.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

We'll be back on Monday. Enjoy the holiday weekend!

Dubai—home to the future world's tallest building, artificial islands shaped like a palm tree, and a misplaced faith in the power of wealth—is broke. The government has asked its many creditors for a six-month reprieve from debt payments.

If you're not already at the airport trying to smash your way to the front of a ticket line, you're probably not visiting relatives this Thanksgiving. You need an excuse besides "they are annoying." The AP has a bunch!

Wikileaks.org has released 573,000 text messages from 9/11—they range from "The only thoughts I have are of Nicholas, Ian and you I am terrified," to "YOUR DOG WILL BE OVER AT MOTHER'S HOUSE BY TOMORROW MORNING." [CNN]

Did you hear about this DC couple that crashed Obama's first state dinner last night? Michaele and Tareq Salahi—aspiring reality show stars, bedeviled vintners, polo enthusiasts and lawsuit magnets: You inspire and sadden us in almost equal measure.

That's it, we're in holiday mode: the dayside writers are taking Thursday and Friday off, but the night crew — Adrian, Azaria and Ravi — will be posting sporadically. Also, we're launching an always-open chat page.

[If you're going to JFK International Airport today, you will see nothing like the pristine modernism from the TWA Terminal in 1962. It will be a complete mess jammed with lines and screaming travelers. Good luck!. Image via AP]