Yahoo has indeed canceled this year's iteration of its infamous year-end bacchanal, a spokesperson for the internet conglomerate told us, confirming our earlier post. There will instead be "department/location based events... in line with industry norms." Norms=boring. (Pic)

Hallmark writers are staying off welfare this Christmas by writing cards bearing recession-ized slogans like "This wasn't the year that any of us had hoped for." GEE THANKS. I think we can do better than that.

There were two shots left at shaking up this year's horrifically locked in Oscar race: the musical Nine and Avatar. Well, after today's very mixed reviews of Nine, it looks like Oscar's only got one bullet left.

Quick! There's just over an hour left in Gawker's Sarah Palin Slambook charity auction. Bid!

In this retro Letterman clip, Dave does a delightful cooking segment with Julia Child where everything goes wrong. But it doesn't matter because both of them are hilarious. International Spy, Trailblazing TV Chef, Comedienne—what couldn't that woman do?

Derek Jeter received one write-in vote in the mayoral election that took place on November 3. [NYDN]

Meet Roxy, a Thai Ridgeback mix who's training has been inspired by natural movement and Parkour.

We were rather bullish on it before, but a government-run insurance option is now dead in the water.

They claim to be looking for Alice and the Hatter. They have also been leaving rabbit pellets all over the Interwebs for the last week in the name of that noble pursuit. We are semi-terrified and semi-intrigued. What the pellet?

If you love the fact that local Chinese restaurants shove dozens of menus under your door every day, you're going to be overjoyed by J&R's new marketing campaign. The electronics giant is printing up fake menus advertising its same-day delivery service which it's planning to distribute by having them placed under the doors of unsuspecting New Yorkers. Let's hope this doesn't start a trend. [Copyranter]

Gawker was recently added to the White House Press Office's email list, which along with official press releases, speech transcripts and advisories, includes the presidential pool reports. Since the pool reports are by their very definition "on the record," and are distributed by the White House to the entire press list (not just the pool participants), it seems to us they should be considered public records. In fact, it's never made sense to us why the White House Correspondents' Association doesn't just post them to a web site of their own. So we're stepping up to fill the gap. You can read more about this little project here: Get Your White House Pool Reports Right Here

Hedge fund kingpin and mega-art collector Steve Cohen should be chilling out at Art Basel Miami right about now, eyeing the overpriced artwork he plans to add to the ridiculous $700 million collection that sits inside his ridiculous Greenwich compound. But it's unlikely the billionaire hedge funder is having a very good day. The painfully embarrassing lawsuit filed by a former employee of Cohen's SAC Capital in 2008—which involves, among other things, sexual harassment, sodomy, female hormones, and forced cross-dressing—has finally been unsealed for all to see. And it's quite a doozy, needless to say. [Dealbreaker]

Following the same guideline as the G.I. Joe cartoon dubs, here is one featuring the cast of Star Trek: TNG, discussing—among other things—apple juice. And styrofoam nuns. And Data is gay!

Page Six has hired longtime WWD media reporter Stephanie Smith to replace the departed Corynne Steindler, we hear from good sources. Congrats to Stephanie for landing a new media job, America's rarest commodity. [Pic: Rachel Sklar]

More calculating than panda bears, these house cats have realized the one thing that separates man from beast - door knobs. Now that they've mastered this trick, they'd like to remind everyone that they will one day rule us all.

What better way to get back at the network that had no faith in you than by making fun of it on its own airwaves. Last night, Tina finally got her revenge.

Paul Bunyan probably wouldn't even flinch, but this guy might want to get checked out for a concussion. Or splinters.

It's looking less and less likely that Rudy Giuliani will end up challenging Kirsten Gillibrand for her Senate seat in 2010. Two weeks ago, Giuliani aides suggested the ex-mayor would probably announce his candidacy within "the next 48 hours." But there hasn't been any news of a political bid since then, and today Rudy's security firm announced it will be advising Rio de Janiero on its preparations for the Olympic Games in 2016. Rio is one of the world's most dangerous cities, of course. So that should keep him busy for the next six years, no? [NYDN]

Probable waste of money: Expensive multivitamins. Another probable waste of money: All multivitamins.

The good news: Unemployment dropped slightly last month, to 10%. The bad news: 4,200 print publishing workers were laid off just in November and 86,800 have lost their jobs in the past 12 months.