We won't begrudge this Swedish hockey player a chance to celebrate his goal, but maybe he should tone down the enthusiasm before he gets hurt. Oh, too late.

For millennia, man has questioned how Burger King tricks consumers by making Whoppers look edible in commercials. The answer is simple: In order to make fast food look good, you must make it even more disgusting.

It's not everyday you see the CEO of Google eating his words. But Eric Schmidt has made two embarrassing reversals so far today: Admitting he was wrong about Twitter, and admitting he's got a terrible, AOL-user-esque sense of internet fashion.

• Diane Sawyer has confirmed that she will end her decade-long run as co-anchor of Good Morning America this week. Friday's her last day. [LAT]
• Meanwhile, Chris Cuomo's role at ABC is up in the air. He's denied rumors he plans to jump to NBC, and may end up as co-anchor of 20/20. [NYDN, prev]
• Today was the deadline for New York Times staffers to take the buyout package that was offered to employees last fall. A list of people expected to exit the paper in the near future is now making the rounds. [Gawker]
• NBC might be ranked fourth in the ratings, but Comcast says it has no plans to sell NBC Universal's broadcast TV business when it takes over. [AP]
• MTV's Jersey Shore is one of two new reality shows stirring up criticism; now Domino's Pizza has decided to pull its advertising from the show. [NYT, TVG]
• Oxygen is developing a new reality show with Russell Simmons that will "focus on the women in his life." That should be interesting. [THR]
• Is Nancy Grace responsible for pushing a woman to commit suicide? [AP]
• John Stossel is happier at Fox than he was at ABC, unsurprisingly. [TDB]
• The Blind Side surpassed New Moon at the box office this weekend. [MTV]

If there's one thing drug-addled hipsters and American Apparel models have in common, it's their love for cocaine! Fortunately, someone took note and turned this anti-drug PSA into an ad for the hipster's hellhole of fashion.

On December 5, 2009 at Charlottesville, VA's John Paul Jones Arena, one man, one pound of shrooms, and not one ounce of clothing came together to defy conventional logic and make a Phish show worth watching.

Oh, good, Jonah Goldberg just got a million dollars to write another book. Hooray for the publishing industry!

New York Post TV columnist Linda Stasi had a rough night in December 2005: She tripped over a police barricade walking home from dinner, injuring her face and wrists. It was bad, but nothing $2 million wouldn't take care of.

After a month of testimony and seven days of deliberations, former Senate majority leader Joe Bruno was found guilty of two counts of felony corruption this afternoon. He faces up to 20 years in prison. [NYT]

Watch these cute little kittens squeak as they try to jump out of a blue bucket.

Today was the deadline for New York Times staffers to take the buyout package that was offered to everyone in October, as the paper seeks to cut 100 newsroom positions this year. The names we know, below. [UPDATED].

We're still gathering details on the fairy-tale wedding Google's glamour geek Marissa Mayer is having this weekend. The latest: Guests are murmuring about some sort of tracking system that sounds as creepy as SkyNet — or Google itself.

Tragic news for those of you looking to get your hands on former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham's latest collection of dresses: A delivery of more than $500,000 worth of Beckham's duds, which was en route to NYC, was hijacked at knifepoint in London over the weekend. [DM]

Blending accent, appearance and mannerisms, actors transform into different characters like an oversized fleshy chameleon. When they fail at this task—their only task—we reserve the right to mock them. By compiling a video of their ineptitude.

In your monstrous Monday media column: TWITTERTWITTERTWITTER, a German plan to save newspapers, the shockingly democratized Portfolio.com, and Chicago sports writer wars. TWITTERTWITTERTWITTER.

Goldman Sachs has been taking lots of heat from shareholders, pundits, and politicians in recent weeks. Now even Goldman employees are furious with the firm. The bank recently spent $15 million on two murals for its new downtown office tower—one by Franz Ackermann and another by Julie Mehretu—but employees don't particularly like either of them, and it's "all anyone who walks in can talk about." [Business Insider]

[via Kirk Larsen]

New York Post television critic Linda Stasi is suing the City of New York because she tripped on a police barricade one night in 2005. Here is the complaint, the notice of claim, and the notice of jury trial.

The Hangover and Bored to Death star explaining the pleasures of living in Brooklyn, to the New York Daily News.

Politico has a great story (no fooling!) about how people who play on the fears of the old and scared have formed a mutually beneficial alliance. Conservative pundits and gold-selling scam artists have joined forces to rip you off!