restaurant consultant, Iron Chef America judge dissing the immature palates of her two children — Jean-Baptiste, 8, and Isabelle, 6 — after letting the New York Post feature them prominently in a story on "koodies." (kid + foodie = blech)

Casual sex does not lead to long-term emotional or psychological damage, according to researchers at the University of Minnesota. (But that doesn't mean hooking up with a total stranger won't leave you with a nasty case of chlamydia, of course.) [Star Tribune]

Today's governments are inventing tons of new ways to repress free speech. But there's a hero standing up for civic-minded journalism: The company that digitally re-enacts Tiger Woods spanking a porn star.

Now tattoo shops are advertising by sticking stickers on mirrors in public bathrooms so when you get really drunk you can go in the bar bathroom and confirm that, yes, that tattoo would look dumb. [Copyranter. Click to enlarge.]

Congratulations to LilChainsaw34 for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

Today at Gawker.TV, awkward on-air silences our favorite TV News anchors, Tiger Woods on the Bob Hope Show, yet another bad Nic Cage movie trailer, an engagement proposal on The Biggest Loser, and how women should properly handle their firearms.

Seems as though bands will do anything to make an extra buck these days. Enter Wayne Coyne, the LSD-addled singer of The Flaming Lips, with an offer we're more than happy to refuse: The Silver Trembling Fetus Christmas Ornament. Really.

Last week, Bloomberg News columnist Alice Schroeder suggested that panicky Goldman Sachs bankers were "loading up on firearms" in the event a "populist uprising" broke out. But that's not the case, you'll be relieved to hear:

Bob Guccione's former mansion on the Upper East Side is about to get a lot less porntastic. The 27-room townhouse that the Penthouse founder once decorated with neo-Classical female busts, Byzantine style fountains, and a Roman-inspired indoor pool (left!) was seized by creditors after his business empire went bust a few years back, and was purchased by hedge funder Phil Falcone and his wife Lisa Maria for $49 million in 2008. Now some big changes are on the way. Falcone's petition to dramatically renovate the home, demolish much of the interior, and scrap Guccione's treasured pool was approved by the Landmarks Preservation Commission yesterday, which means another vestige of NYC's filthy past will soon be history. A moment of silence, please! [Curbed, previously]

24-hour news networks fill their days with non-stop rambling. But sometimes it would be nice if they could just calm down for one second. For those in need of a break, here's a full minute of awkward tv silences.

Marissa Mayer knows her taste matters; that's why the Google VP walks the office in Armani and Oscar de la Renta. So when she showed off her cell phone in France, it should have been one of Google's. Whoops.

Hot lesbian sex! Two hot sexxxy young lady teachers loved each other very much and they had some of the aforementioned hot lesbian sex right there in the schoolhouse, allegedly. There seems to be some public interest?

So tonight is the Top Chef finale. Oh what? You thought it was last week? No, last week was the first half of the "two-part finale." We are so sick of this stupid stunt.

It's Christmas in December on Adult Swim! Relive treasured Christmas memories with Gareth's dreams of a tenner in an envelope, Master Shake's holiday rap that answers the question "What rhymes with Ricardo Montalban [R.I.P.]?", and tree-decorating suggestions from the members of Dethklok.

The Way We Live Now: In prison. Although if we can hold on for a few more years of economic doom, the jail might crumble, from neglect! In the meantime: We stand in solidarity with our oppressed brethren, bankers.

The baby boy that just emerged from the womb of Gisele Bundchen isn't the only lucky little tot today. Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich and his girlfriend, globe-trotting fashion/art princess Dasha Zhukova, had a son in LA late last week. Welcome to the world, Aaron Alexander Abramovich. And remember to child-proof your missile defense system, Roman. [Fashionologie]

One man's annual donation apparently made up 25% of the operating budget of the American Civil Liberties Union. And that guy, David Gelbaum, had a bad year. So... hope you didn't need to sue the government in 2010.

Is Nic Cage just toying with us? Is his life just one gigantic practical joke on the moviegoing public? The first official trailer for The Sorcerer's Apprentice simply reaffirms how awful he is.

For a capital manager who's lost $6 billion in assets, Pete Thiel has an awfully rosy worldview: The Facebook investor is calling baby boomers the "dumbest generation" and, we hear, infuriating co-workers by calling for patience at his foundering fund.

The reports of a possible death penalty for gays in Uganda are horrific. But since I don't know anything about Ugandan politics, I asked Andrew Rice, a friend who wrote a book about Uganda, if he could add some context.