Working for Gawker does not lend itself to getting invited to fancy media holiday parties. So we have to use Twitter to spy on them. After the jump: three of tonight's fancy parties and a plea for your help.

If you didn't like Woody Allen before, this classic bit will change your mind. Woody tells his famous moose story entailing his adventure of taking an unconscious moose to a classy costume party in NYC.

Everyone loves the Boston Globe's ginormous, online-only "Big Picture" feature. Now they've launched the first installment of a three-part "2009 in Photos" series. Very cool, very big pictures; it's features like this that make journalism on the Internet work. [Globe]

Perhaps it's time to stop using the word "anemic" in reference to the New York Times' internet efforts; judging from these pictures, Times Company Chief Information Officer Joseph Seibert seems determined to project an image of strength.

Despite ongoing economic collapse, American audiences are still finding the cash to reward studios for producing the most mediocre slate of films in memory with attendance at US theater up five percent in the past year.

[People enjoy the creature comforts—ceiling fans, wicker benches!—during a Vintage Tea Party on one of the old rail cars New York City Transit is running on the rails this month. Image via Getty]

We get lots of suggestions of what to post on Gawker every day. Let's take a look at what came in through the #tips page: highfalutin book learnin', the edit/ad wall is crumbling and Morrissey neither eats nor condones eating meat.

• A roundup of restaurants that just opened, or will be shortly. [TONY, Eater]
• Stephen Starr, the mega-restaurateur behind such intimate spots as Buddakan and Morimoto, may be opening a Vietnamese spot next. [GS]
• Le Caprice, the posh British import now open at the Pierre Hotel, hasn't wowed critics, but New York's Adam Platt gives it two stars this week. [NYM]
• Tavern on the Green closes in two weeks. Is a TotG hotel next? [Crain's]
• Cold weather special: A guide to the 50 tastiest soups in NYC. [NYM]
• The Christmas tree at Hotel Griffou went up in flames last week. [P6]
• A big bunch of dining recommendations for New Year's Eve. [Zagat]
• A Times article about power lunching at the Four Seasons managed to get the restaurant confused with the hotel. How unfortunate. [NYT via Eater]

Marissa Mayer, Google's star-dappled moon queen, married fiancé Zach Bogue this weekend in San Francisco. We hear the fashion-conscious VP's three-day wedding was positively star-studded. And that was just the help. Some names:

What are you watching tonight? Let us know in the comments.

Photo: Flickr/michbunny

Get ready for the disgusting reality-check of the day. This video from the NYC Department of Health says that a can of soda a day can make you ten pounds fatter a year. The truth has never been so grotesque.

on how much he loves Barack Obama, to Playboy via SeattlePI.com.

Today, Dr. Oz delved into the world of misdiagnosed symptoms. Throughout the show, he used terrifying language and even more terrifying visual aids to illustrate how severe his guest's conditions were. Hypochondriacs: you've been warned.

We encourage anyone struggling with the definition of "Funky" to click to enlarge this vintage ad. HINT: Rhinestones, Tulip™ slick paints, and sparkling jackets all play a prominent role in The Funk. [Vintage Ads via Copyranter]

Uh oh! MTA doomsday budget time again! (Is it already... any time of year, at all?) Farewell, W train! Goodbye, Z train! Hope you didn't need to get anywhere at night or on a weekend!

December 14th: Lance Bass at Kiss & Fly Sunday to celebrate Malik So Chic's bday. He was flirting with a half-naked waiter, who turned out to be straight. (Plus: a reminder on the new ways to submit Stalker sightings)

Another slew of awards and nominations came in this weekend and the result is that this year's stagnant deathmarch of an Oscar race got a tiny bit shaken up, or at least it got a bit more confusing.

Today on Studio B With Shepard Smith, Shep proves his journalistic integrity by likening the punch thrown at the Italian Prime Minster to "like Snooki gettin' hit" and refers to it as "full-on Jersey Shore-style." Fox News at its finest.

The UN's chief drug-fighter says billions of dollars in drug money saved the global economy from collapse last year. Sounds kind of plausible, doesn't it?