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If you're pranks aren't using harmful chemicals, you're not trying hard enough. She's going to feel so foolish when that campfire gets out of control later. And when her hubby goes blind.

A news anchor from a West Texas morning news show can't stop laughing while reporting on the murder of a woman who's bugged-eyed husband is suspected of killing.

Is reclusive money manager and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein looking to raise a little cash to pay off his mouting legal bills? One of the car collector's most prized vehicles, a 2003 Ferrari 575M Maranello, is now up for sale and can be yours for a very reasonable $159,000. John Connolly, the former NYPD detective turned investigative reporter who tipped us off to the sale, tells us that Epstein recently transferred to the car title to his pilot in an effort to conceal its (less-than-savory) origins. And, sure enough, that appears to be the case.

[via Today]

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Which also happens to be funny and peppered with profanity. As long as Tiger Woods remains quiet and stays out of the public eye, we're going to have to leave it up to artistic interpretation to give us the story.