A college humor magazine has written a satirical story on the subject of race, and they are refusing calls to take that story off their website, thereby bucking the important American college traditions of censorship and terrified racial silence. Outrageous!

Nothing like hearing a little boy over-articulate phrases like 'apple bottom jeans' to perk up your day.

Ashley Dupre leaving WB11's studios on East 42nd Street looking very business-like ... Ashley Olsen smoking a cigarette outside Sant Ambroeus with a friend ... Alicia Keys exiting the Christian Louboutin store on Horatio Street with Swizz Beatz and her bodyguard ... Kate Hudson leaving her townhouse ... Famke Janssen taking her dog for a walk ... Robert Downey Jr. arriving at ABC's Times Square studios ... Hugh Jackman walking on Canal Street ... Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz leaving a grocery store yesterday ... Amanda Seyfried filming scenes for Letters to Juliet near Battery Park ... and Sarah Jessica Parker getting into a car outside Morandi after having lunch there yesterday.

Simon will be pissed! It's worse than an actress and her sister who both had abortions after getting impregnated by the same dude and a star who spends the holiday with his boyfriend, not his famous wife. Happy holidays, people!

Imagine if enhancing images wasn't possible on television shows. Would police officers solve anything? Probably not. Here's the best-of image enhancing on television. And in case you were wondering, CSI Miami is obviously in there.

After a harrowing touch-and-go period of silence marked by much prayer and stress ball-handling amongst the populace, the Hot Sexxxy Lesbian Teacher story has risen again! The new angle has nothing to do with lesbian teachers. But still, they're back!

December 18, 1976: Wonder Woman debuts on ABC. Lynda Carter didn't have much of a career beyond Wonder Woman, unless you follow made for Lifetime movies and contact lens commercials.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

• Broadway producer Hal Prince, who put his co-op at 834 Fifth Avenue on the market for $33 million back in September, has picked up a new place nearby. The Phantom of the Opera producer and his wife, Judy, have paid $12.5 million for a seven-story townhouse at 48 East 74th Street. The five-bedroom home was first listed in January for $15.5 million. [NYO]
• Director Oliver Stone has gone into contract to buy a condo at One Morton Square. The pad had been listed most recently for $1.9 million. [NYP, PDE]
• Rory Kennedy, the filmmaker and youngest daughter of Robert and Ethel Kennedy, has sold her two-story house on Shelter Island. Kennedy sold the home, which isn't far from the property that Jonathan Adler and Simon Doonan picked up last year, for $2.967 million. [Newsday]

Perhaps in revenge for the Chinese getting Obama's name wrong when he was in China, the press office bungled Wen Jiabao's name in a hastily-corrected press release. Lucky they're not in sensitive negotiations!

Is how some of the papers dramatize the doubtless grinding negotiations in Copenhagen. Also: the New York Post think the Upper West Side is "trendy", there's a new villain in healthcare reform and a drug cartel boss was killed.

Michaele and Tareq Salahi, the couple that crashed the White House state dinner last month and remain under investigation by a Congressional committee, may not get their chance to appear on Bravo's Real Housewives of Washington DC. The network is now reportedly thinking about giving them their own reality show. [NYP]

In a move that will simultaneously fill waiters and barstaff in LA and NY with hope and bitterness, a Uruguayan who posted a three-minute, $300, YouTube film has been given $30m to make a sci-fi movie in Hollywood. [BBC]

• Jake Gyllenhaal just split up with Reese Witherspoon. Has he already moved on with Anne Hathaway? That's what the National Enquirer is suggesting. So it could be true, but it could also be totally made up. [ShowbizSpy]
• In other Anne Hathaway news, it turns out the guy who crashed his bike into the car she was sitting in earlier this week was a paparazzo. [AP]
• Demi Moore posted a pic of herself to Twitter—it was an outtake from a recent Harper's Bazaar photo shoot—and fellow Twitter users unleashed their wrath, suggesting the photos had been Photoshopped and telling her she looked old. "I'm 47. How am I supposed to look?" she responded. This actually makes us feel a bit bad for Demi, which isn't something that happens very often. [Us]
• "Snooki" (Nicole Polizzi) from MTV's Jersey Shore has been fired from her receptionist job for taking time off to go to LA to promote the show. (She's not too broken up about it. She got to hang out with Kristin Cavallari while she was there, so it was totally worth it.) In other Snooki news, the guy who punched her in the face on the show, a scene MTV censored, says he's sorry. [NYDN, Us]

Because the gossips say they're working on a new baby, but I'm not sure we can believe it until the beard is accounted for. Kevin Jonas is getting married, Snooki lost her job, Elin Nordegren hires a lawyer. TGIFriday Gossip.

That Palin is a character. First she was totally for responding to climate change, for political expediency. Now she's totally against it, for political expediency. Textbook flip-flop? Of course not! Here's what Palin said about it on Facebook.

Katie Holmes, actress and Bride of Scientology, turns 31 today. Hard-charging hedge fund manager Dan Loeb is turning 48. Brad Pitt turns 46. Steven Spielberg is turning 63. Christina Aguilera is celebrating her 29th birthday today. Dan Klores, the publicist turned documentary filmmaker, is marking his 60th. The head of the American Federation of Teachers, Randi Weingarten, is 52. Memorial Sloan-Kettering president (and Nobel Prize winner) Harold Varmus is turning 70. Troubled rapper DMX is 39. Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones is 66. Ray Liotta is turning 55. Model agency owner Faith Kates is 52. And former Miss USA Tara Conner is turning 24 today. A bunch of weekend birthdays is below.

Being a kid is dangerous: first there were guillotine strollers, now there are deadly cribs.

Meg Whitman's sons, Griff and Will Harsh, have been kicked out of prep schools, an eating club, dormitories, and Princeton's class of 2008, say people who know them. One incident involving the n-word is already internet famous.

Dear readers; this year those dreadful holiday letters — you know, the ones in which your aunt waxes lyrical about her weird kids underneath a mall photo of the family — are mostly filled with layoffs and misery. [WSJ]