Breakdancing Robot a Terrifying Harbinger of Things to Come

Mike Byhoff · 12/21/09 01:11PM

It is only a matter of time before robots will clean, cook, care for our children, and be passive aggressive to our bosses for us. If you were worried they wouldn't be able to break dance, worry no more.

Give Us Your Best Holiday Travel Horror Stories

Brian Moylan · 12/21/09 12:55PM

There are plenty of stressful things during the holidays—office parties, shopping, family—but there is nothing worse than travel. We want to hear your worst holiday travel stories, and we want them now. All aboard!

Jeffrey Epstein's Legal Problems Go On

cityfile · 12/21/09 12:27PM

Over the weekend, Rush & Molloy reported that money manager Jeffrey Epstein recently settled a lawsuit that had been brought against him by one of his alleged victims, an unnamed woman who says the pervy billionaire forced her to be his sex slave from the ages of 15 to 19. The terms of the settlement weren't disclosed. (Word has it Epstein has offered other accusers "a minimum of $150,000" in the past.) But his legal problems are far from over: A dozen other women, who all claim Epstein took advantage of them when they were minors, still have lawsuits pending against him.

Hilarious Farting Santa Claus Prank

David Matthews · 12/21/09 12:00PM

Sometimes, you've got to know when you've been bested. Ladies and gentleman, without further adieu, EdBassMaster: " You better not sniff, better not try, don't even breathe, I'm tellin' you why: farting Santa's coming to town."

Child's Terrifying Long Hair is Threat to School, Nation

Mike Byhoff · 12/21/09 11:55AM

4-year-olds that decide to grow their hair longer than others are making a statement. That statement is usually "I like my hair long." This elementary school thinks statements like that are reserved for hippie scum and promptly suspends him.

Somebody, Please Explain the English Language to Kathie Lee

Whitney Jefferson · 12/21/09 11:32AM

More moments of "I-can't-believe-this-is-actually-on-the-air" occurred on the 4th hour of Today this morning when Kathie Lee explained her difficulty understanding the phrase "like white on rice." Instead of keeping to herself, she makes an absurd spectacle out of her ignorance.

Botax Out, Tan Tax In

cityfile · 12/21/09 11:19AM

Remember the "botax" that Congress was thinking about including in the health care bill, which would impose a five percent tax on cosmetic surgery procedures? It was dropped from the bill over the weekend as part of a concession to the American Medical Association, which had lobbied hard against its inclusion for obvious reasons. The nation's tanning salons don't have as much of a presence on Capitol Hill, apparently, because the 10 percent tax on "indoor tanning services" was kept in, and is expected to contribute $2.7 billion to fund health care reform over the next decade. [NYDN, WSJ]

The Darkness' Christmas Time

Whitney Jefferson · 12/21/09 11:00AM

The band that helped us believe in a thing called love (at least while singing along in falsetto) decided to make a christmas single during their fifteen minutes of fame. Yes, this video is as bad as you expect.