24 year-old NYU film and history student Michael Peaden, who probably pays a lot of money to go to NYU, figured out that the chemistry department's manager had been taking money from the school....via liquor store receipts. His reward?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't this sound like today's Flight 253 was evacuated because a Nigerian was on the can for too long? Maybe he was reading Netherland. Who knows? But another flight in Detroit was just evacuated.

Jasper Schuringa probably didn't think twice before dismantling Northwest Airlines Flight 253's would-be bomber. But before telling his story, he wanted money, and he got it. From major news outlets who pay up and lie about it. Here's the proof:

Teen sex comedies about sexy teens that only want to have sex are Hollywood's way of turning TV stars into movie stars and The Trojan War is the best example of that concept failing spectacularly. It's the anti-Can't Hardly Wait.

When "old" New Yorkers remember this city before it was "cleaned up," a nighttime subway ride's often recalled as a Warriors-esque life-threatening transit option. Now it's so safe, people can't even stretch out.

Jon Gosselin's apartment got ransacked, someone left a stabby note. Literally! Also, they broke his Ming Vase. Amy Winehouse's looking to get into Altarcations? Michael Lohan: Christmas sleazy. Katt Williams: gunslingy. Bruce Springsteen: Nutcracky. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup!

You'll be disappointed to find out that the ACLU's executive director doesn't spend Sundays burning anarchy signs into American flags while singing pre-abolition slave spirituals to the tune of "Poker Face." Per an NYT profile: he feeds horses grass. [NYT]

So! CNN paid a bunch of money for this blurry photo of authorities restraining Abdul Farouk Abdulmutallab—hereby known as The Testicle Bomber—and you can watch Brooke Baldwin and T.J. Holmes talk over it. Fun!

Doug Benson is a champion of hilarious non sequiturs and side comments. Here is a clip from one of his first Comedy Central special where he talks about the troubles of using the mens room at sporting events.

Battle Studies, indeed! TMZ recently ran video of someone harassing James Cameron to sign an Avatar poster, the highlight of which: Cameron calling his "fan" a "fucking asshole." Typical TMZ. But Cameron's surprising public advocate nailed the story.

Long Island's Area 51? Presented without comment: The Montauk Monster U.F.O. Balls Conspiracy.

Remember the days when the world of fashion used to be a scary place run by thin people in big sunglasses screechier, bitchier, thinner, and just better than you? Those days: gone. Fashion's now being run by bloggers. It's official/awful.

Damn, Charlie Sheen: the slate was clean for what? Two years? Does it matter anymore? Charlie Sheen choked his wife out for Christmas. He got arrested, she's not talking to cops, he's still the highest paid actor in television.

Some guy tried to light an explosive devise, ended up producing a mediocre fireworks show inside of an airplane. So, he failed, ended up with burned balls. Now we have heroes and tighter air travel regulations. Also: he was Al-Qaeda.

Jersey Shore castmember The Situation used to be a male stripper. "Surprise," right?

Are you ready for the most epic superhero of all time? Are you willing to settle for Zach Galifinakis as the Snuggler instead? Of course you are. Teiry Green is The Snuggler, a hero who hugs people back to health.

Sienna and Jude's balls: Barbados-bound. Together they'll make domestic reconciliation layer cake. Lady Gagadong's moneyballs will drop on New Years. William Hurt is your new existential bicycle. Gene Simmons is still trying to rock. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

YouTube is hands down the best tool for seeking out random television from our childhoods. My most recent treasure is 1993's Disney adaptation of the classic tale by Charles Dickens— starring Scrooge McDuck. Yeah, you're into it.

There were reports that 'firecrackers' had gone off on a flight from Holland to Detroit on Friday. Several people were slightly hurt. US Intelligence sources have now told the Associated Press the suspect said he was acting for Al-Qaeda.

A string of cutbacks have threatened Google's status as a veritable Shangri-la of free gourmet food. Meanwhile, Facebook is ramping up the dining perks. Today the Times suggests Facebook might be "the new standard-bearer for corporate-sponsored dining." Food fight!