The Way We Live Now: Ungratefully. Just like the mere knowledge that Ethiopians were starving did not make you enjoy your mom's gross turnips, neither does the knowledge of widespread unemployment make you like your job. You ungrateful bastard.

Everyone is fed up on Teen Mom. Mothers are fed up being mothers, babies are fed up with their fathers, and couples are fed up being apart. Who isn't fed up? The viewers lucky enough to watch this amazing show.

Holocaust shooter and neo-Nazi weirdo James Von Brunn died in prison. In additional being a killer, he was a known "multiculturalist." Cause of death is unknown, though it may have something to do with getting shot, or being 89. [TPM]

There's been some debate about whether or not this ad is actually racist. Let's see: there's a white guy who is "stuck in an awkward situation." The situation? Being surrounded by black people. The solution? Fried chicken. Umm...

This is Humam Khalil Abu-Mulal al-Balawi, the Jordanian triple-agent who killed seven CIA agents (and Blackwater contractors!) last week. It is quite the story!

Members of the NYPD's Gang Unit will be heading to Bermuda to help its police force solve several gang-related shootings that have "rocked the island" recently. Did the fact that Mayor Bloomberg happens to have a lovely weekend home in Bermuda (above) factor into the decision? It certainly seems that way. Bermuda's minister of public safety tells a local paper that Bloomberg contacted the Premier of Bermuda personally to offer up the NYPD's assistance: "He rang the Premier, as a resident of Bermuda and someone who has a keen interest in the safety of Bermuda. He is a friend. He said, 'We probably can help. Get your Commissioner to talk to the head of our Gang Unit.'" Too bad Bloomberg never picked up a castle in Darfur. All that genocide would have been over in no time! [Village Voice, Bermuda Sun]

AOL is interested in buying the world's largest tech blog, Mashable, we hear from a source at the internet conglomerate. And in fact the two sides have been talking, people outside AOL have whispered to one another, and to us.

Menacing Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich threw the banging-est celebrity-filled NYE party in St. Bart's. We've read about the St. Bart's bash, but now we have pictures! All thanks to grim economist Nouriel Roubini, who despite our impending economic doom, partaayyyed.

Every week of 2009, Norseman Erik Solheim recorded a short video clip from the balcony of his apartment. During the first week of 2010, he editing all those clips together and made this beautiful time lapse video of last year.

A viewer can't help but think that It's been a while since Chef Bourdain was doing lines of pure Columbian yayo off of Keith Richard's poultry, but make no mistake; It's neither the first, nor last time Bourdain's cooked blow.

Okay, maybe that's putting it too strongly. But in the past 24 hours we've learned two strange and delightful things about the cradle of the Taliban that give us hope.

Last night The Discovery Channel premiered Howe and Howe Tech, featuring the tank-crazy Howe brothers. Watch as the Badger, designed for SWAT teams, plows through doors and walls, up stairs, around corners, and into our collective nightmares.

In your wintry Wednesday media column: More and more and more Dana Milbank, short is good, freelancing sucks, and just let the NYT sell its ads, you ungrateful bastards.

You know how annoying it is to get hit by those rubber band slingshots? Imagine (or just watch) what it's like to get hit by a giant one.

There were a lot of hard hitting news reports in 1994 focused on the skating sweetheart, Nancy Kerrigan, and her alleged attacker, Tonya Harding AKA That Fugly Chick. The most informative account was garnered from the mother of David Letterman.

After much debate, officials in Nevada have (finally!) given a brothel the official go-ahead to begin hiring men. If you're between 21-40, you're "service oriented," and you "have a positive attitude"—and the idea of moving to rural (but scenic!) Nevada and living in a trailer doesn't put you off—apply within.

Dr. Drew Pinsky was on Today today to discuss the destructive behaviors of recently deceased Casey Johnson. He then berates us, the viewers, for eating up tabloid fodder with a spoon. What happens next is so disgusting it's almost laughable.

It's a good thing Citigroup repaid that $20 billion it owed the U.S. government on December 14. If it hadn't, some people might be a tad ticked off to hear that on December 30, the bank paid John Havens, Citi's investment banking chief, $9 million for his stellar work in 2008, making him the broken bank's highest-paid employee for the year. [WSJ]

Last night at the Palm Springs International Film Festival, Mariah Carey was named Breakthrough Actress for her role in Precious. Carey came on stage to accept the award from the film's director, Lee Daniels, and then delivered a bizarre-yet-endearing speech.