Tonight, while David Letterman and Jay Leno were busy insulting each other, Conan O'Brien did everything he could to piss off NBC: the return of the Masturbating Bear, a $1.5 million prop and a bombshell dropped by guest Adam Sandler.

Props to Cindy McCain for supporting gay marriage. Ditto Elizabeth Edwards, back in the day. But their husbands remain(ed) recalcitrant. Are political wives more liberal, or are they just saying what their husbands are too chicken to admit?

The Hoff is back: A&E has picked up a reality series starring David Hasselhoff and it's gonna be huge. What do you think the show's about? Drinking? No, unfortunately. It is about his David Hasselhoff's beautiful daughters.

Two days ago, CNN's Haiti coverage reached a strange climax, as Sanjay Gupta and Anderson Cooper morphed into a team of life-saving reporters/heroes. Tonight, Gupta and Cooper were just a couple of journalists who have maybe seen too much.

What are you doing now? We're watching live streaming video of models playing ping pong at SPiN, the Manhattan ping pong club co-owned by Susan Sarandon and her rumored boytoy, Jonathan Bricklin. Yep, supermodels are playing ping pong for Haiti.

The White House has launched an iPhone App. It looks promising but will probably disappoint.

You probably remember Zach Galifianakis carrying around a toddler in The Hangover, but before that he was just another struggling comedian. Take a look at part of Zach's short-lived VH1 TV show, Late World with Zach.

Remember 19 year-old South African sprinter Caster Semenya? She's the Lady Ga Ga of sprinting: Her lady-ness is questionable! Now, the International Olympic Committee has ruled to establish "gender-test" centers to make sure female athletes aren't actually dudes in dresses.

Today: fat people in planes, Edgar Allan Poe and a new use for duct tape. Meanwhile, over in the #crosstalk open forum you missed the opportunity to chat about babies in bars with me and balls with Foster.

• The week in reviews: Sam Sifton of the Times gives Danny Meyer's Maialino two stars; Steve Cuozzo of the Post heads to Maialino, too, giving it three stars; Gael Greene also covers Mayer's latest creation; Time Out's Jay Cheshes hits the Breslin; Alan Richman of GQ shares his passion for César Ramirez's work at Brooklyn Kitchen; and Danyelle Freeman reviews Rye in Williamsburg.
• New/upcoming: Soho tapas spot Ñ has opened a second location in Dumbo; Scott Conant is turning the Cooper Square Hotel bar into a casual cafe and plans to open it next month; and a Hooters may be coming to Brooklyn.
• Offal is all the rage right now, in case you weren't aware. [NYO]
• There were lots of leftovers following last week's Tavern on the Green auction, so a "last-chance bargain sale" is now scheduled for next week. [NYT]
• Some Valentine's Day dining suggestions if you're planning ahead. [Zagat]
• Pizzeria Uno has filed for chapter undici bankruptcy protection. [Eater]
• Can you picture Daniel Boulud and Alain Ducasse serving eats out of a food truck? The opportunity to see them slum it together arrives on Feb. 8. [GS]

Neither right-wing American pundit Jonah Goldberg nor French-wire-service-reporter Olivier Knox wanted to gaze upon the U.S.'s engorged senators; Jason Pontin saw the sky falling again; and Bow Wow wants his own movie. The Twitterati couldn't bring themselves to face reality.

[Michaele and Tareq Salahi testified before the House Homeland Security Committee in Washington today. They plead the fifth and refused to answer questions about crashing a White House state dinner in November. Image via Getty]

Tonight we'll be tuned into The Late Night Wars. What are you watching tonight? Let us know in the comments.

Joan Rivers stopped The Wendy Williams Show and the two discussed the obvious topic of the day: Heidi Montag's recent plastic surgery. Big surprise, Joan is more than cool with it.

Ego and financial improprieties aside, Wyclef Jean has demonstrated a genuine desire to help the people of Haiti. To do that, it's time he acknowledge his personal foundation isn't equipped to provide disaster relief and donate to those who can.

The co-founder of the Marijuana Policy Project (not pictured) has resigned, for sleeping with a subordinate and for his record of "predatory" behavior towards women in his office. Related: you have to watch these videos. Our favorite is probably "Grandmother."

WHDH Boston's Pete Bouchard was discussing the total amount of snowfall (in inches) during a broadcast and he made quite a startling comparison. We'll let you figure it out on your own.

[January 15. Photo via Flickr]

the star of Spartacus: Blood and Sand explaining what a merkin is, to New York's Vulture.

Dennis Quaid stopped by Ellen today to promote her new movie and Ellen—always the prankster—had something special waiting for him. A man in a giant rat costume, to be precise.