In Hausu, six schoolgirls stay with an aunt/geisha/vampire at her spooky estate and are killed off in ludicrously horrific manners. For the final showdown, the remaining girls confront pure evil: a lampshade and a demonic cat vomiting endless blood.

After everything that's happened over the past year and half, you'd think it would be obvious to AIG and its CEO Robert Benmosche that the company probably shouldn't be using its five (yes, five) corporate jets to ferry AIG execs off on vacation. You'd be wrong. Fortunately, Benmosche and government regulators have now settled on a "Luxury Expenditure Policy," so when Benmosche diverts one of AIG's planes to stop off at his vacation home in Croatia in the future, he'll have to reimburse the company for the flight. [WSJ, Reuters]

Barack Obama is a BIG FAN of the blogs! "Offbeat" blogs, even! OMG. So exciting. Shadowy White House spinmasters have finally leaked to the Washington Post the big Obama Fave Offbeat Blog List!

This video shows death literally looking over people's shoulders, rigging the security television screen behind the cashier to show the Grim Reaper appearing behind. We prefer Norm McDonald's version of the Reaper.

In the arena of reality cooking competitions, Worst Cooks in America is definitely the most cringeworthy. Because not only are the contestants laughably incompetent, but their incompetence leads to constant emotional breakdowns.

The fourth season of HBO's social drama just keeps getting bigger. Last night we saw a trip across the country, an accident that brought two fringe cultures together (sort of), and a wild and surprising kiss.

It would be completely inappropriate for some loser blogger to call Beau Biden, who just finished a year-long deployment to Iraq, a coward. But the Vice President's kid is a big coward.

Hipster Grifter Kari Ferrell is slowly making her way from her incarceration land of Utah back to the East Coast, upon which she will descend, formidably, all too soon. We have "obtained" photos of her recent stop in Las Vegas.

Journalism has long been romanticized in America, from All the President's Men to I Love Trouble. But it's not all secret informants and gruff Nick Nolte bon mots; often it is salacious gossip about celebrities.

If humans spoke like this, would anyone take them seriously— let alone applaud and embrace their humiliating efforts? No. Then why are we accepting such horrible attempts at dialogue from our beloved dogs? It's time to set some standards.

If you're unfortunate enough to be in New York City today, I think we can all agree that Most Depressing Day of the Year was celebrated one week too early this year. [Pic via NYPL] Update: NYC government agrees!

Madonna leaving the Kabbalah Center in Midtown ... John McEnroe sitting in the stands at a Knicks game with daughter Ava ... Ex-Gov. Eliot Spitzer walking home from a jog on Saturday afternoon, accompanied by one of his daughters ... Ethan Hawke driving a car with his wife and kids on the UES ... model Coco Rocha walking with boyfriend James Conran ... Renee Zellweger heading to the airport en route to Sundance ... Tina Fey filming scenes for 30 Rock ... Sarah Jessica Parker getting out of a car in front of son James' school ... and Lady Gaga signing autographs for fans outside Rockefeller Center.

Notable trend noted by the New York Times news-paper: Transgender individuals often choose to change their names along with their sex. And New York City is a popular place to do so! The more you know. There used to be a law that name changes had to be advertised in the news-paper, which had the fringe benefit of helping transgender people to make new friends:

During morning talk shows they usually show pets that are up for adoption. Mr. Flufferskins and Dr. Smooches are cute additions to anyone's family. But it takes a certain badass to adopt and tame the untameable beast that is Robocat.

Sources have told us that, in the throes of their affair, John Edwards and Rielle Hunter made a sex tape that contains "several sex acts." And that his aide, Andrew Young found it on an unmarked DVD.

Everyone's had a case of the giggles before. Many of us were young when it last happened, like this tyke. Maybe the video will set you off like it used to, or maybe you're too jaded to enjoy anything anymore!

This A-lister's boner should be considered an occupational hazard. Also getting pokey are a famous husband exploiting his open marriage, and an actress who has taken up with the producer of her show. Someone needs to call HR.

• Tory Burch has a new place to call home in Southampton. The fashion designer/socialite has closed on the deal to buy the late Howard Gittis' 14-acre estate on Ox Pasture Lane. The 14-acre property, which Burch went into contract to buy in September, sold for $32.5 million. (Update: The Post has since corrected its story and now says Burch is "only" buying part of the property for $16 million; an "unnamed neighbor" is buying the rest for $16.5 million.) Meanwhile, Burch's former home on Meadow Lane is still on the market for $17.9 million, if you're interested. [NYP]
• Walter Cronkite's former apartment at the UN Plaza has gone into contract just a month after it went on the market. The two-bedroom co-op had been listed most recently for $2.995 million. [Curbed, FRG]

Botox: "the only profit-making venture for terrorists that can also potentially yield a weapon of mass destruction." Any Islamofascist biology major can pose as a Botox salesman while manufacturing enough botulinum toxin to kill thousands. Save us, Nicole Kidman! [WP]

Awww, dog! You are adorable! You are also quite big and powerful, as compared to the silly little lobsters. Yet, you are so scared. Awww, dog, you are the best!