After Clinton flack Howard Wolfson helped sink Hillary's presidential campaign, he was rewarded with a Fox News gig, a New Republic blog, and a high-paying job with Mike Bloomberg's reelection campaign. Now Mike's taking him on full time!

Princeton the Great One—P the G if you're nasty—is an amateur rapper representing Fresno, California. His mix tapes keep it street with rhymes about community college, getting high, and cheeseburgers, all delivered without any discernible flow.

Oh man. When your prank cost you $500, involved Major League baseball and potentially destroyed a relationship, you know you've ascended to prank-aristocracy, at the very least.

Michael Mineo is a 25 year-old tattooed former gangbanger who says the NYPD sodomized him with a nightstick. The NYT's account: Chilling and poignant. The Daily News' account: Matter-of-fact. The Post: 'Victim,' in scare quotes. Choose your own adventure!

This is a very popular map right now among the wonky liberal bloggers of the grown-up end of the internet. It is designed to make the electoral college and the Senate more "democratic." Which defeats the point of those institutions!

The idea of getting a hickey after the age of 17 seems ridiculous, but as many drunken nights on the Lower East Side have proven, it still happens more than you care to admit. Lose the bruise with these tips.

The Hotel Carter must have cleaned up its act. Although the Midtown cesspool came in at No. 1 on TripAdvisor's list of the "dirtiest hotels in America" last year—the third time it had received the award in the past four years—it's nowhere to be found on the travel site's 2010 list. Congrats, though, to the New York Inn on 8th Avenue for landing the No. 6 spot. In the newly cleaned-up Times Square, it isn't easy finding a place that features drugged-up prostitutes, floors crawling with mice, and urine-soaked sheets. But it's good to see someone is keeping history alive. [TripAdvisor, previously]

After two board members were charged with theft and sexual harassment, members of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference marched through Atlanta "with signs...calling the [SCLC's own] board members thieves and liars." The view from the mountaintop is unspeakably beautiful. [NYT]

[Bill Gates parties down at a Sundance party hosted by Microsoft's Bing search engine, at the House of Hype. Image (plus more dancin' pics!): DailyTruffle, via GuestofaGuest]

[Tilda Swinton, who would love to play Conan O'Brien in a movie, poses for a portrait at the Sundance film festival; image via AP]

A quarter couldn't fit through this hole, but an octopus can— talk about a flexible crustacean!

Elderly dog-worshiping soothsayer and NY Post columnist Cindy Adams is relevant once again! Really though. Not only is she a hero to young journalists everywhere, she's a hero to us today, for mocking the Hollywood-industrial entitlement complex with admirable passion!

On Conan's last broadcast of The Tonight Show, he thanked NBC for all they have done for his career despite the whole debacle. Everyone applauded his decision to go out in a classy manner. Everyone except Howard Stern. (NSFW Language)

Having an ex use private photos to get you back in the sack is the price of fame. So is ordering a restaurant's staff to do strange and embarrassing tasks. Fame sucks, but without it, who would we talk about?

It's getting a little dusty in here. If this video doesn't choke you up a little bit, then you have a heart of ice. Much love to the fathers still over in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The woman who lost her balance at the Metropolitan Museum of Art last Friday and created a six-inch tear in a 105-year-old painting by Pablo Picasso did quite a bit of damage. Although the work will be restored over the coming weeks—and the gash will resemble a "tiny pencil line, if that" once that's done—an appraiser says the $130 million painting may be worth half as much following the accident. [NYT, NYP]

PETA has naturally filmed a lady stripping totally nekkid, because of the State of the Union speech? Everyone will watch it furtively with the sound off, so who knows what the lady says about animals. PETA: Hardcore pornographers. NSFW, below.

Desperate colleges are now sending out applications with the info all filled in—all you do is sign! No essay or application fee required! This way they guarantee themselves first crack at America's laziest illiterates who can pay tuition. [NYT]

This little hamster is both smart and yearns for freedom. This must be one of the greatest jailbreaks of all time.

• CNN anchor and chief business correspondent Ali Velshi has picked up a new apartment on the Upper West Side. Velshi and his new wife, portfolio manager Lori Wachs, paid $1.85 million for an apartment at The Harrison at 205 West 76th Street. The couple scored a deal, too. The two-bedroom condo went on the market for $2.65 million back in 2008. [Cityfile]
• Luke and Julie Janklow have officially closed on the sale of their West Village townhouse. The 25-foot-wide home at 16 West 12th Street, which first went on the market for $24.975 million last year, had been listed for $17.95 million when it went into contract earlier this month. It sold to developer Ara Hovnanian and his wife Rachel for $15.35 million. [NYO]
• Adriana Mnuchin, the wife of ex-banker/art impresario Bob Mnuchin, has sold a fifth-floor apartment at 956 Fifth Avenue for $7.5 million. She won't need to worry about moving, though. Mnuchin and her husband paid $20 million for a much larger apartment at 944 Fifth back in 2008. [Cityfile]