After a few days' of flusterment, conservatives have finally settled on a suitable justification for the teabuggers — they're just crazy kids, horsing around, and we shouldn't take their antics seriously.

Conservative Australian politicians are waging a War on Smut via pornography censor laws. Their latest uphill battle: A proposed ban on small boobs (which attract pedophiles) and squirting (which grosses them out).

Is this girl good at manipulating media or what? Tila Tequila wrote a blind item about the contents of her uterus. Blind items, the gossip world's congenital weakness! But wait, didn't she already do this, last May?

Once upon a time, Edwards' staff thought white wine and sissy sodas were their biggest problems. In anticipation of Andrew Young's 20/20 interview tonight, Gawker asks an Edwards staffer to evaluate the latest rumors—and lob some new ones.

The Real Housewives of Orange County are all eccentric in their own right—remember Vicki and the family fan freakout?—but on tonight's episode, Lynne's brand of crazy emerged victorious. Dumb, drunk and deranged, all in one episode—cuff, yeah!

Neil Patrick Harris is hosting a three-dimensional game show. Conan O'Brien saves the best for last. "Drunk History" gets an award, and there is a show called Emergency Sex about humanitarian workers boinking it. The Roundup will take you there!

Remember when Chris Matthews said that stupid thing about Obama after the State of the Union last night? "I forgot he was black for an hour tonight." Well, Jon Stewart and Wyatt Cenac made fun of this tonight.

John Edwards' former mistress and baby mama, videographer Rielle Hunter, has requested a temporary restraining order against aide Andrew Young to supress "a personal video recording that depicted matters of a very private and personal nature." [ABC]

Jay Leno is known for being middle-of-the-road. But compared to Scott Brown, Leno is a gay hippie communist smoking hash out in weirdo Los Angeles. Brown was on Leno tonight, and he set a new standard for normality.

Tonight's Larry King Live ran the pop culture gamut: Jay Leno on Oprah, John and Elizabeth Edwards—even an appearance by non-gay Ted Haggard and wife Gayle. The best moment, though, was a sassy caller from Boca Raton. *Snaps*

Alexia Tsotsis said the tits can unmake a nerd; Paul Boutin cherished his "ignorant slut" moment; and writers got shut out of Sundance. The Twitterati figured what a real geek was.

Ben Bernanke's Back, Baby!

Welcome to the best Thursday-night party on the Web! You all know what kind of party this is, right? To avoid confusion, I just want to clarify upfront: This is not a county fair potato party.

David Cross points out that when it comes down to it, ordering a pizza can get pretty difficult at times. Now who wants extra sun dollops?

To the women he dated via the Internet, Solomon Jesus Nasser was just your average, everyday multimillionaire Navy admiral with a doctorate from MIT. But in real life, Nasser was a scumbag who bilked $140K from women over three years.

Tonight we're tuned into Archer, Real Housewives, and more! What are you watching tonight? Let us know in the comments.

[Miss Universe Stefania Fernandez and Miss USA Kristen Dalton look a little out of place on their visit to Beth Israel Medical Center in New York yesterday. Image via Getty]

Obama is serious about repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell and he has the Pentagon's backing. Here comes the fun part: Senator Carl Levin is just not sure if he has 60 votes for repealing it! Whee!

The New York Times has published an excerpt of The Politician, Andrew Young's account of working for John Edwards. Turns out that when Edwards cheats on his dying wife, he does it like a lawyer.

Today your #tips included: an excellent Ta-Nehisi Coates smackdown of Chris Matthews, lots of weed jokes, and celebrity flatuence. Meanwhile, Botswana Meat Commission has an intriguing suggestion on the #crosstalk open forum: Commenter parties? We'll help if there's interest. Discuss.