The early gambling line on the Oscars is tracking the irrestiable storyline of dueling exes James Cameron and Kathryn Bigelow. Intrade has Avatar as the favorite for Best Picture, followed closely by The Hurt Locker, with no one else mattering.

Last night was the second season premiere of Logo's drag queen Project Runway/Top Model hybrid, and the first time I ever did watch it. And girl? I am just not sure what the helllll to say about it.

Jason Lee said it best in Mallrats when he said "Damn! That kid is back on the escalator again." Enjoy this original compilation of classic escalator fails, but try not to chortle too much: using escalators isn't for everyone.

Police say that America's most dangerous gangs are increasingly turning to Twitter as a communication tool for their criminal networks. We investigated the Twitter accounts of five notorious sets; the results may alarm you.

We were too dumbstruck by Glenn Close's reconstructed face on Damages to watch the premiere of Kell on Earth. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was working as an undercover intern for Kelly Cutrone during filming. Here is her full report.

Now we know how Bernie Madoff escaped the all-seeing eye of the Securities and Exchange Commission: Like you, agents just look at porn on the computer all day. "It was kind of a distraction per se," one told investigators.

Even though Johnathan Rhys Meyers stopped by to promote his new movie, Martha Stewart couldn't help but gush constantly over his role as Henry VIII in The Tudors. Well, that and what really draws her into the show: Tudor sex.

Wake up, make some coffee, turn on the TV to start your day, and what are you greeted with? A mother's abdominal wound being sliced open while amniotic fluid is being sucked out of her stomach. Enjoy your Cheerios!

Tragically, travel accommodations for kitty businessmen have always been sorely lacking... until now! With the continuing wonders of Japanese culture, feline professionals have their own hotel and transit consultants to cater to their every wish and whisker.

See, they went around Massachusetts saying they wanted to get gay married (despite the fact that they were both supposedly straight, with girlfriends) (their girlfriends live in Canada) in order to take advantage of all the various benefits society bestows upon those who enter into that sacred institution, which is a very good argument against gay marriage. Because as we all know, no two people of opposite genders have ever entered into a legal marriage for any purpose other than undying love and an urgent need to procreate.

More than two dozen employees of the SEC have been investigated over the past two years for viewing porn on their computers at work. (Could this explain why the agency missed numerous chances to catch on to Bernie Madoff? Maybe!) It's also what a bank employee is doing in the video to your left, although he doesn't appear to notice that one of his colleagues is on live television a few feet away. Needless to say, the bank says it's now investigating the incident. And we're guessing it probably won't be long before the banker has all the time in the world to surf the net for dirty pictures from his home computer. [BI]

This woman needs to audition for season 2 of Worst Cooks in America. She would fit right in.

Dr. Seuss Enterprises is suing a new coal company that calls itself LoraxAG—the objection being that Dr. Seuss wrote the story "The Lorax" to encourage environmentalism, whereas LoraxAG is a fucking coal company. But the president of LoraxAG has a compelling argument of his own: "'The Lorax is the protector of the truffula trees,' he told [a trade publication]. 'We think this is the greenest use of coal.'"

Standing at the urinal is generally considered sacred turf. There is an implicit understanding that a no peeking rule is in effect. This guy decided to overtly break that rule at Pro Player Stadium in Miami.

Remember Kari Ann Peniche the former beauty queen and possible madam from our Eric Dane-Rebecca Gayheart chat à trois video? She is still around, now with a dance single about the most famous moment in her life.

The doll, that is! Yes, the Scott Brown Action Figure exists and comes in three varieties: the Executive, the Presidential, and the Cosmopolitan. It sure seems to make Gretchen a little uncomfortable.

Depending on your views, last Friday, President Obama hectored the House Republicans or calmly (smugly?) explained to them that everybody needs to grow up and act their age, not their shoe size, if they wanted to actually get anything done.

Oprah is quitting her show next year to build her cable network, but have no fear: that network will feature a reality show about the final season of Oprah's show. And a show called "Miracle Detectives." Oprah Oprah Oprah. [NYT]

And the old clips portending doom continue to emerge. Conan sits down with Charlie Rose and some water in 2006 to discuss the arc of his career thus far. Turns out Conan wanted his legacy to be with NBC...badly.

Sick of your boring everyday tween life? Ready to trade your privacy and dignity and junior high dramas for international superstardom and an army of blindly adoring fans? Let Bella Dancerella guide you on the path to pop enlightenment.