Rajendra Pachauri, the head of the UN's panel on climate change, has written a scandalous sexxxy novel about a sexy environmental scientist that, by political logic, thereby discredits the concept of "global warming." Is the book really that bad?

People crash things, pets do silly things, and kids eat gross things. Yup, it's AFHV at its best.

[Gossip Girl Blake Lively in Miami. That little tuft of hair on the right is Chace Crawford. Ooooo! Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

So what's going on with Gov. David Paterson and those rumors last week that the Times has been working on a "bombshell" story that may (or may not!) involve allegations that Paterson is a fan of booze-filled swinging sessions? Over the weekend, reports suggested the Times story would drop today. That didn't happen.

• Lots of celebs turned out for the Super Bowl in Miami. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were there (and were spotted "kissing, hugging and laughing," so if you were worried that they'd broken up, you can rest easy). Also on hand was Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher (who were chased by photographers), Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, and John Travolta, who couldn't even be bothered to stay for the entire game. [DM, The Sun, Popeater]

• Is the cast of Jersey Shore getting a little overexposed? Just a little! MTV is now looking to clamp down on their efforts to "pimp themselves" at bars and colleges around the country and has informed them that they're each limited to two appearances a week and need permission from the network before accepting any gigs. [P6, NYDN]

• In other Jersey Shore news, Jenni "JWoww" Farley is planning to "enhance" her ginormous fake boobs "as soon as possible to be ready for the new season," you'll be pleased to hear. [P6]

Some Ultrabowl or Megabowl event dominates, but there's also the intriguing news that Obama will debate the GOP in a televised healthcare summit. Along with the usual reports of explosions, executions and road safety in Afghanistan.

Did Brangelina's presence make the Saints win, or was it Kim Kardashian's tight end? Beyonce falls during a concert, Dr. Murray makes a creepy visit to Jacko's tomb, Carrie Prejean gets engaged. Monday gossip is done preserving its purity.

Former Nightline anchor Ted Koppel turns 70 today. John Grisham is turning 55. Mary Steenburgen is 57. Nick Nolte is turning 69. Vince Neil of Motley Crüe turns 49. Seth Green is 36. Mary McCormack, the star of In Plain Sight, is turning 41. Comedian Robert Klein is 68. Times Magazine editor Gerry Marzorati is 57. And recently-jailed actor Gary Coleman turns 42 today.

Pawnbroker Scott Lee Cohen wanted to be Lieutenant Governor of Illinois, and was going pretty well. Until it emerged that he'd once held a knife to the throat of a then-hooker girlfriend and had injected anabolic steroids.

A feud between Oracle CEO Larry Ellison and fellow billionaire Ernesto Bertarelli over the rules for their America's Cup yacht race has apparently cost the contest hundreds of millions in sponsorship. Weep for the wealthy; they have problems too. [BusinessWeek]

Most of Conan O'Brien's staff turned in their badges and Blackberries this weekend, and employee Aaron Bleyart documented the scorched earth affair. No, seriously, the place has been razed. NBC's preferred renovation appears to be explosives. [BAM]

Senators and Federal employees are taking a snow day, with three-foot snowfall blanketing the Atlantic seaboard from New Jersey to Virginia. As America braces for an "encore storm," one major dilemma remains: Which cute nickname won the weather system?

Harvard professor, hedge-fund millionaire, and "court historian for the imperial American hard right" Niall Ferguson is leaving his wife for a feminist filmmaker he met at the Time 100 party. Sex! Scandal! Murderous Muslim clerics! This story has it all.

Avatar is finally dethroned, but Sam Worthington is on his way up. Do you want Wheel of Fortune in 3D? Henry Winkler has a new role, and Valentine's Day gets a pre-release sequel. Welcome to a very super Trade Roundup.

Welcome to our post-Super Bowl XLIV world. Did you see that David Letterman/Jay Leno ad? Aren't The Who so old and busted? OMG: PUPPY BOWL. Gay horses or something? A lot of amazing things happened. Then there was the football.

This week, Gossip Girl will film at Columbia's Morningside Heights campus. This morning, three coyotes ranged the university's stately grounds. Coincidence, or dark omen?

The Business Insider posted an unconfirmed report that the New York Times' David Paterson story is so big that the New York governor will resign tomorrow. But Paterson's office is pushing back, telling Gawker "the governor is not resigning."

File under: WTF and DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING. Remember the Late Show ad starring David Letterman and Oprah Winfrey that aired during the 2007 Super Bowl? Well, they just did a reprise... with the addition of Jay Leno. Video, inside.

So, the supposedly crazy-controversial commercial for Christian pro-life organization Focus on the Family—featuring crybaby bible-thumping quarterback Tim Tebow—has arrived. And how is it?