Child, I don't even know what to tell you about last night's episode of the wig-wonkiest show on television. Things happened! Things didn't happen. A big girl did splits and a Raven turned into a chicken.

This has got to be the most unintentionally hilarious fight scene of all time. It comes from the 1993 movie Undefeatable. Arnold Schwarzenegger, eat your heart out.

That's because it's the exact music from The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. This 1993 TV show starred Bruce Campbell and lasted only a season. Carlton Cuse, who co-created and produced the show, tweeted about the tune earlier this week.

Fighting ladies! Failed erections! Sexy studies! Stroke prevention! And the hottest thing ever! It's your daily science watch, in which we watch the science—scientifically!

About damn time dogs joined the 21st century. On Good Morning America, they introduced a product that ranges from completely useless-useless. It's called Puppy Tweets, and it involves dogs tweeting. As if human's lives aren't boring enough.

The gay world is often represented as some sort of monolithic whole that has the same culture. That is a lie. It is actually broken down into a handful of substrata to which each gay belongs. Here they are.

Tracy Morgan sat down on Dave's couch last night—where he notoriously gives wacky interviews. Last night, he told Dave that Oprah's his valentine, he's jealous of Gayle King, and made comments about a recent Super Bowl commercial.

The Olympics aren't the only thing going on in Canada right now- some students in Alberta cliched the unofficial world record for World's Largest Dodgeball Game with some 1200 players. That's a lot of balls.

After six glorious days, the festival of incompetent flackery that was the "Harold Ford Doesn't Pay His Taxes" story is over. Ford's spokesman has finally told us, on the record, that Ford filed New York returns in 2007 and 2008.

Get ready Rachael Ray fans, "urine" for a treat. Tomorrow's episode teaches us about what diseases we might die of just from peeing in a cup. No word yet on whether Rachael Ray's interest in pee extends to recreational use.

New spokesman for the Swiffer family of cleaning products: Cesar Millan, better known as The Dog Whisperer. In case that went over your head, the "dog" is you. [NYT]

Need your fix of romance post-Valentines? Need to convince that special someone that shooting up is super-gross? The first of the "Swansea Love Story," a VBS documentary following the ups and downs of a Welsh junkie couple, has been released.

Amy Bishop, the biology professor who shot six of her colleagues, killing three of them, is a paranoid, angry woman who hates kids and was obsessed with a researcher who ended up in a dead-end job. (She also played D&D.)

We were too busy dreaming about Bode Miller's backside to bother watching Kell on Earth last night. Thankfully fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was working there this fall during the filming. We have a feeling she has some stories to share.

As part of their Olympic coverage, Meredith Vieira and Kristi Yamaguchi had a wild night out in Vancouver. While describing the night, Meredith refers to her as the "Yamaguchi Hoochie" as an embarrassed Kristi waits nearby for her interview.

Dubai authorities have released video of an 11-member assassination team (likely Israeli) before, during, and after they killed a Hamas official last month, as caught by surveillance cameras at the airport, malls, and hotel rooms. It's like Munich, but real.

John F. Kennedy married Jacqueline in 1953, but he was also creeping with many international beauties—including Sweden's Gunilla von Post, who's now auctioning off her love letters from the horndog president-to-be. He's lucky there was no internet back then.

In a deleted segment originally intended for the end credits of Predator 2, several of the actors playing the titular monster don their dreadlocks and body armor for a dance circle. Danny Glover joins, bridging the interspecies gap with funk.

It's time again to haiku the news. Jim Behrle has started you off. And beginning today, because poetry should be rooted in ruthless competition, he will be choosing a winner to appear on the front page later this afternoon.

If Juno taught us anything, it's that you can't sass talk your way out of all your problems. Watch this video and should you be thrust into this difficult situation, you'll be prepared to handle it.

Even if the father to be is a struggling luchador, that's better than a musician.