Wonder how she feels about that "allergic to vagina" thing. Brangelina kiss in public, LiLo wants to move to England, Dakota Fanning turns sweet 16, Mickey Rourke admires Megan Fox's luscious acting talent. Come bask in Wednesday gossip's reflected glory.

It's not just disaffected baby boomers who are turning away from the Democrats they helped to elect. 18 to 29-year-olds are moving towards the GOP, or away from politics altogether (which is the same thing really) in increasing numbers. [AP]

"Grumpy Gordon was immediately confined to the 'naughty' tank after his snapping tantrums shocked Sea Life staff... As a more mature snapper turtle, Gordy has quite a jowly chin and grumpy face." [Telegraph]

A British Parliament investigation concludes that Murdoch-owned tabloid News of the World hacked phones " on industrial scale"—including those of police, military, and government officials—in pursuit of gossip on royals.

Wife-beating actor Charlie Sheen has checked into rehab as a "preventative measure." Witness the ingenious invention of a new celebrity phenomenon: Prehab. A guide to the four advantages it provides over actual rehab.

Yesterday, the new Credit Card Accountability Responsibility and Disclosure act went into effect—but not without controversy. And tonight on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart brilliantly laid out both what's wrong with American consumers and with credit card companies.

Matt Damon Will Play Jack's little brother in a biopic. Emily Post's Etiquette to be made into highly proper film. Jason Segal joins the Farrelly Brothers. The Olympics' ratings domination is done. Trade roundup's problems are not software-related.

Last week, an L.A. production company sought obese toddlers. This week, The Sorcerer's Apprentice seeks a one-armed child willing to forgo his prosthetic for a shot at fame, $144, and meeting Nicholas Cage. Welcome to our awkward casting couch.

RuPaul was one of the guests on tonight's episode of The Mo'Nique Show, which explains why so many drag queens were in the audience. What it doesn't explain, though, is why Mo'Nique got so very excited to have them there.

Michael Vick is going to do everything he can to make us forgive him for dog fighting. He knows what he did was wrong and wants everyone to know that he's sorry. Unfortunately, we're not buying it.

Yesterday, we introduced you to successful eye surgeon Dr. Emil Chynn. You read the 2,7000 word email litany he wrote detailing his West Village neighbor's sins. Today, we learn he once commissioned an ice sculpture of his Corgi, Hershey.

Women's figure skating began tonight in Vancouver with NBC's live coverage of the Olympic short program. American skater Mirai Nagasu's routine went swimmingly (ha), but she ended it with a visibly bloody nose. What caused it? Inside, an in-depth investigation.

If being dull was a medal event, team nordic combined would win the gold. If making viewers want to watch 30 Rock on Hulu was an ice-skating move, team nordic combined would be a quad. This is the worst sport.

It may be her first live show, but Ellen DeGeneres isn't holding anything back so far on American Idol. Her first order of business: letting America know that Simon Cowell is just dying for a sexual harassment suit.

The precursor to Mitch Hedberg's deadpan and ridiculous one liners, Steven Wright has been on the comedy scene for a long time. Here he is in 1990 on the Late Show with David Letterman.


[via YouTube]

Meet Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons (R-Skeezeball). A former playboy model is suing him for allegedly sexually assaulting her in 2006. Gibbbons' defense? He hasn't had sex in 15 years.

Women may now be paid less for doing the same job as men underwater.

"PayPal Mafia" don Keith Rabois cut Silicon Valley simps (everyone) down to size; Guy Branum staged a Twittervention; and David Lat leafed through some porn. The Twitterati were acting like made men.

Are you having a good day? Has your week been calm and clear so far? Are you in the mood to be confused, and—possibly—angered? Good... tune your television to ABC and join our LOST live blog. Come in!

Crap: We accidentally said it was day 12 last night. All that figure skating has turned our brain into a bedazzled ice cube. The real day 12 brings: Women's figure skating (LIVE); Men's giant slalom, women's ski cross, nordic skiing.