Well, America's favorite shining whirligig finally got to whirling and gigging last night. Though for a big "Here are your choices, America!" debut, it certainly wasn't very graceful, was it? Actually, it was kinda downright urgly.

In your wearying Wednesday media column: the Washington Post is somewhat unpopular, the NYT is just coasting, Steve Coll's secret reading list, and a late freelancer payment tidbit.

Nadya Suleman, aka The Octomom, came on to talk about her hectic life and litter of 14. Not sure who to talk to first, she just laughs maniacally, ignores Barbara Walters and general proves that she's batty as all hell.

Remember the 2008 presidential campaign? And do you remember the hundreds of journalists who were going to write books about that campaign? Many of those books are almost done. Don't worry: there are hundreds more still in the pipeline!

Fox and Friends has a sliding scale when it comes to humor. A joke opposing German unification that, taken in a larger context, pits Brian Kilmeade against Reagan and sides him with communists- funny! Laughter before the pledge- deathly serious.

There seriously isn't, you guys. Because Sony took down the original Rick Astley video because of a terms of use violation. Sorry internet, no more Rick Rolls for anybody. Truly a sad day for memes.

Vice is usually known for its hip, in-the-know editorial voice, which is why this painfully awkward interview with Young Jeezy is so surprising.

VBS.tv interviewer Thomas Morton struggles in vain to get Jeezy to say much about anything, and it soon becomes clear that these two are just ships passing in the night. Like a bad date, you just hope it will end soon, and Morton finally resorts to discussing boiled peanuts, which seems to be the only topic that Jeezy is willing to expound upon.

If you've ever been on the New York City subway, you've probably read the emergency exit instructions asked yourself the same question: "Well, when is it okay to pull the Emergency Brake?! This video investigates.

If we learned one lesson from the Kevin-Smith-is-too-fat-to-fly debacle it is that we have outgrown our chairs. That's right, America, it's time for all new seating in planes, theaters, cinemas, and the like. Who should pay for it? Fat people.

Committed to alcoholism, but having a tough time sustaining 24-hour inebriation with your busy schedule? Try Disposable Flasks, the handy way to drink anywhere, while avoiding the shame of clunky metal options. Available in leopard print to match your Snuggie!

Drugs that kill! Hospitals that kill! Pregnancies that kill! These and other things that kill, in today's Health Watch—where we keep an eye on health (yours)!

Law student Julia Neyman, the (savvy!) moocher of free gym trials, has "no interest in a book deal," but would "love to parlay" her stunt into freelance writing gigs, she tells Above the Law. Maybe offer editors free trial articles?

Last night's 16 and Pregnant was called "Nikkole"—because it was about Nikkole's pregnancy. Except it wasn't. It was about her boyfriend Josh. The worst baby-daddy this—or any—teen pregnancy show has ever seen. He was a monster.

Googlers are gobsmacked that an Italian court found three company executives guilty of violating Italy's privacy laws over a video uploaded to Google Video. After all, the company quickly removed the video, of an autistic student being bullied, in 2006.

A note to aspiring actors; if you're not working by the time you've hit puberty then like your youth, chances at fame are slowly fading away. These 20 celebrity veterans knew they'd make it long before you did.

This 1970s Levi's commercial poses the existentialist question man must ask himself when faced with an evolutionary reality: if humans developed differently, say, if they had become fish—which type of polyester blend Levi's would they fancy?

Police Commissioner Ray Kelly is the most popular man in town, according to a recent poll. Kelly's approval rating is an impressive 70%—which is hilarious, because there's more news of the NYPD's corruption every day.

This couple thinks they're getting lucky at the company Christmas party. Little do they know they picked the wrong spot for a quickie, the parade route.


[via SNOTR]

Meredith Bryan observes in the NYO today that—hello!—niceness is back! On the internet, and in New York in general. Goodbye to cynicism! This interesting and somewhat true phenomenon will destroy us all, if we let it.

During last night's short program, Tom Hammond noted that an American woman has made the figure skating podium every Olympics since Peggy Fleming. This year, that streak might be broken. That sort of ruins the Olympics, doesn't it?