Good news, culture warriors: a woman is live-Tweeting her abortion. Trending topic, guys!

Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons claimed he couldn't have sexually assaulted a cocktail waitress because he hasn't had sex since 1995. He didn't mention "riding planes and getting into cars with women"—which the local news caught him doing yesterday.

We here at Gawker were very saddened to learn today that our arch-nemesis Nikki Finke's Deadline.com beat us in traffic last month. Our boss is gonna kill us! Lucky for us, it's not true. At all.

Last night Craig mixed things up by getting rid of his studio audience. In his monologue, he said that the recent late night wars reminded him of old-school hosts like Tom Snyder—who had no audience at all.

The Way We Live Now: Stealing from the poor. To support the rich, naturally! The other thing we're doing is stealing from the rich, to support the crooks. Egalitarianism in action!

Because they were unable to unload the brand on a Chinese company, GM has announced that it will no longer manufacture the notorious suburban assault vehicles. Fist-pumpers and teenagers will mourn the loss, while we make many marriage/no-more-blow-jobs jokes.

Today at Gawker.TV, 20 celebrities before they were famous, Lost's issues with alcoholism, we may have found the worst boyfriend in the world, the Ocotomom is an awkward loud-laugher, and when you should actually pull the emergency brake.

Congratulations to televisionarie for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

Are you browsing the Internet in class right now, when you should be paying attention? Naughty naughty! Be thankful you don't have this nutty professor, who freezes a student's laptop in liquid nitrogen and then smashes it to bits.

All day hipster fashion photographer Terry Richardson has been tweeting out takes from his shoot with the guys of Jersey Shore for Interview magazine. If these guidos weren't in on their own joke to begin with, they are now.

There's a reason everyone at the DMV treats you like shit: You're not paying them $7,000! For that nominal sum, customers at the Yonkers, N.Y., DMV—even Pakistanis on the no-fly list—could get licenses based on stolen identities.

The affidavit of an Immigration and Customs Enforcement special agent in support of arrest warrants for Wilch Dewalt and six others on charges of running an identity theft ring out of the Yonkers, N.Y.

As the heat from the Tiger Woods sex scandal cools, the once paparazzi plagued Rachel Uchitel will again settle into the cold grip of obscurity. She is one of scandal's secondary players, and we are done with her.

Two teachers from Churchill High School in Winnipeg have found themselves facing an investigation after this video of one giving the other a lapdance in the gymnasium surfaced. Really, teachers? You didn't think this was even a little bit inappropriate?

For whatever reason, Snoop Dogg is a huge fan of One Life to Live and today he arrived to Llanview in a limo, convinced a kid's parents to let him out on a school night, and gave a "dope" performance.

Meg Stapleton, a.k.a. "Sarah Palin's Brain," has quit as the former Alaska Governor's spokeswoman, perhaps because Palin would like to hire a literate adult.

Here's a LOST theory for you: If Jack and Claire don't have their recommended dosage of alcohol PEOPLE DIE! There is a lot of pent up anger going on, and island rehab doesn't seem to be working.

The question that must be asked after watching this video: Will this become a Broadway musical or a big-budget movie? Because someone must find a way to capitalize on a creepy life-sized My Little Pony belting out Jennifer Hudson tunes.

The Washington Post is reportedly considering doing away with Sally Quinn's godawful self-absorbed rich lady column from hell, which is an embarrassment to the entire institution. Do it, Marcus Brauchli! Be a hero today! And fire her editor, while you're at it. [Washington City Paper]

It's a rare thing to fluster the Northerners, but when a man was serendipitously caught on camera wiping out with beer in-hand, these commentators deemed it more replay-worthy than the actual game.