Twilight sparkleboyfriend Robert Pattinson is starring in a new movie, premiering Friday, about a young couple falling in love in New York. It's all romantic and silly, until the film's exploitative gotcha! ending. Want to know what it is?

Ah, young love. If they're not going their separate ways for new men, they're arguing on the red carpet. So much easier to do blow off a lady's tits at an Oscar party. That will never cause a fight!

Eight-year-old Austin knows his presidents. He's wearing a shirt that proclaims the Martin Van Buren is his homeboy, because, as he says, "I'm eight and he's the eighth president, so he's my homeboy."

After 13 long, and mostly hilarious seasons, South Park has finally released its first deleted scene. Thankfully, it does not involve any nudity or bodily fluids (those would never get cut), but it does involve a whole lot of f-bombs.

[The irrepressible Kelly Bensimon, of Real Housewives, out jogging in the middle of a New York City street again; image via INF]

On Monday, a rumor spread that controversial NY Press film critic Armond White had been "blackballed by Focus Features at the request of [director] Noah Baumbach and his producer Scott Rudin." Consequently, a quite entertaining and profane email was written!

Old people do lots of things these days. They'll watch Jersey Shore and rise virtual roller coasters, and they'll also get really into their games of pinball.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Tribune Company CEO Randy Michaels decided to micro-manage in the weirdest way possible — by banning words like 'authorities', 'diva' and 'manhunt' from the mouths of reporters or anchors at flagship news/talk station WGN-AM (720) in Chicago.

Corey Haim, the 80s teen movie idol who grew into a cautionary tale of the perils of childhood fame, has been found dead of an apparent drug overdose at the age of 38.

Palin, and her fanatical followers, are not a new breed, according to the International Herald Tribune. Commentators are looking to a 1960s essay — the Paranoid Style of American Politics by Columbia historian Richard Hofstadter — to explain her, and the tea party-ers. "I call it the paranoid style because no other word adequately evokes the sense of heated exaggeration, suspiciousness, and conspiratorial fantasy that I have in mind," he wrote. Sounds familiar. [IHT]

The Oscars 'In Memoriam' video, commemorating people who died in the last year, did not include Farrah Fawcett (though it did feature Michael Jackson). People were upset, including her family. Here's the most non-apology apology ever.

According to the New York Post the latest email wheeze by those cheeky fraudsters promises to return millions Madoff hid in Malaysia. As they're offering ridiculous returns for very little risk, we predict a huge take up rate. [NYP]

"Mother-daughter stripper pole" is a phrase you don't hear often for a reason. Gwyneth Paltrow spends time with another male musician. Howard Stern makes fun of Gabourey Sidibe. Vigilante sorority closes in on Roethlisberger. Wednesday gossip crosses the line.

The economy crashes. People start drinking more tap water. Water industry panics. Begins selling people ridiculous filtration systems for up to $1,595. The world is at peace because there is an overpriced product to meet a non-existent need. [WSJ]

Salty sailor and homoerotic harasser Rep. Eric Massa (D-NY) recently described a naked confrontation with Rahm Emanuel in the Congressional gym's locker room, where they "don't have shower curtains." They need Extreme Makeover: House of Representatives Edition.

You'd think the Twitter fight with Adam Lambert would've been a trial by fire, but tragic, handsome Aaron Hicklin was confused and forlorn on his cellphone last night, tweeting messages that appear to be intended for email or text.

After a Detroit shopkeeper declined to alter a wedding dress, the bride's family rended manikkins from their stands and bludgeoned the store's staff, one of whom was mysteriously rendered shirtless. A local news station reports.

On this evening's Late Night, Jimmy Fallon and Chelsea Handler competed in a martini marathon of sorts, each attempting to circle the audience while keeping three vodka-soaked glasses full. Things didn't go as planned, Fallon fell, and—yes—he bled.

Scott Brown, Massachusetts Republican and former Cosmo centerfold, is working on a memoir scheduled to hit shelves in 2011. He may be stuck in Teddy Kennedy's old seat, but he'll become the male Sarah Palin, yet. [AP]