We were excited for the return of the Minutemen, the vigilantes who sat on lawn chairs and watch the border. But something seems to have gone wrong: The Minuteman Civil Defense Corps disbanded, right after they got everyone riled up.

As Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger points out: the Times of London sent their Berlin correspondent to investigate allegations of abuse involving the Vienna Boys' Choir. That correspondent's name is Roger Boyes. Roger, in England, is a euphemism. For fuck.

Cats always try to play it so cool, so when they get confused about something, like a bad-ass praying mantis, there's no choice but to capture the moment and enjoy it.

Apple's iPad could make it the king of old media, arbiter of taste and technology alike. So magazines and newspapers have begun a series of countermoves that could turn the quietest dogfight in media into the most vicious.

Apple CEO Steve Jobs reportedly told the Wall Street Journal it would be "trivial" for the newspaper to ditch Adobe's Flash software in preparation for the iPad. Media-industry types who disagree have been emailing us; their comments follow below.

Maybe! He's just joined the cast of a serious movie. Also today: Is Kate Hudson the most original actress in Hollywood? Do you like zombies as much as I do? And is there a right way to say the word "Cannes"?

John McCain, struggling in an Arizona re-election campaign, will wheel out the universal sign for LOOK, I'M CONSERVATIVE LIKE THIS NUT by making several appearances with his former running mate. Next week: Victor Frankenstein appears with his monster. [AP]

A "rock solid source" says B is knocked up. Jesse James' fourth mistress comes forward. Remember when Sandra said, if he cheated, she'd beat him with a baseball bat? Heidi Montag works on a screenplay about 3-D boobs. TGIFriday gossip.

Beyonce's hit video gets this baby moving and some of those moves are pretty accurate.

People falling is funny enough. But news anchors falling when they're trying to reach across the table? That's enough ingredients to get a stew goin'.

He even wakes and bakes before morning shows. This tween star likes coke, this girl is sick of her famous sister, and this actor is pissed at his model girlfriend. Everyone needs to just chill out, man.

When you run out of roommates and friends to play pranks on, the only direction you can go is to start messing with your pets.

[Liam Hensworth, Miley Cyrus, and an unknown woman regard each other at the premiere of their new movie, an adaptation of "Woyzeck"; image via Splash]

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

The man behind the largest series of identity thefts in US history, Albert Gonzalez, has been sent to prison for ripping off 40 million credit card numbers, mostly from TJ Maxx. His Asperger's syndrome excuse didn't work in court. [FT]

On Monday, David ‘Axis of Evil' Frum compared the GOP's health care defeat to Napoleon's Waterloo, and chastised Rush Limbaugh. On Thursday he was booted from his right-wing think tank fellowship. We have some ideas for your next move, Dave!

Probably not, but this Hussein Obama guy just doesn't stop. A little provision in his fascist health care bill says that, as of July 1, all indoor tanning sessions will be subject to a 10% tax. Where's the outrage?

The Vatican is under fire for issuing statements that conflict with facts in a case involving a child molesting priest and the future Pope Benedict XVI in Germany in the 80's. Things aren't looking good for the Pope these days.

[St. Angelina of the Orphaned turns her eyes to the heavens, in Venice with daughter Vivienne. Image via Pacific Coast News.]

Another Times bombshell! The governor drafted a statement in mid-February saying his violent pal, David Johnson, did not beat up his girlfriend, Sherr-una Booker. Paterson wanted Booker to back this up, but she wanted no part of "a lie." [NYT]