It's a well-established fact that hero boat captain Richard Phillips is a hero, for getting kidnapped by Somali pirates. But his ungrateful crew members are still hating on him for publishing a heroic book, about his heroism. Why, haters?

This poor kitten is getting chased and terrorized by a herd of puppies. What is a cat to do? Bust a Matrix move and have your owner set it to the soundtrack.

Because God personally blessed such behavior when he whispered the Constitution into George Washington's ear, "several dozen" "self-proclaimed patriots" will openly carry loaded firearms at a demonstration in a Virginia national park today.

This week we're up to 1254 Tumblr Followers (up 2.5%), 3057 Twitter Followers (up 12%) and 1308 Facebook Fans (up 6.6%) and we took it to the real-world with our meet up on Friday Night! Did you make it there?

The white stuff made her a lot friendlier at a recent music festival. This actor has his assistant lend him a helping hand—literally. Another actress has a kid with serious gambling debts. Maybe she should sell some swag.

Here is another phenomenal kid musician that makes us depressed about our own inadequacies as a human. This girl has got everything; the talent, the showmanship... well everything except the rock star threads.

Magazines are in trouble. Fashion is expensive, but we're broke. Americans aren't as purty as the celebrities are. Not to worry, impoverished unattractive celebrity-worshiping American magazine consumers! A magazine just for you is a wild success.

[Ashley Olsen in New York; image via Bauer-Griffin]

I don't know about you, but if a dachshund ever challenged me in breakdancing, I'd just call it quits for life.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Edwin Valero was one of the most promising boxers on the planet, and a national hero in Venezuela. But last weekend he killed his wife. And this morning he killed himself.

VP Joe Biden will appear on one of television's worst shows this Thursday, when he hangs with Whoopi and Barbara on The View as part of their political series. Hopefully he drops an f-bomb on Elisabeth Hasselbeck. [ABC]

An armada of small ships set off from Dover to rescue Britons stranded in France by the Icelandic volcano. But the French seem to have forgotten the unity of WW2 and have denied the ships entry into its ports. [NYT]

According to a new BBC poll, the entire world does not hate America anymore. We're still not back to the 1980s "I'll trade you my Yugo for a pair of American blue jeans" level, but it's still nice!

We mentioned Lena recently, after he threatened the US government over a CIA rendition case if it went after the Pope. The Washington Post profiled him, and it turns out he wears flannels and doesn't clip his fingernails. Williamsburger?

Speaking of the worst shows on television: Bombshell "Bombshell" McGee and Jamie Jungers have been offered a reality show: Called "Celebrity Cheaters" it would "catch celebrity cheaters with their pants down." And the cycle begins anew. [TMZ]

20 year-old Laura Hall got a Drinking Banning Order, which forbids her to enter "any pub, club, off-licence or bar" in England. Because she's a drunk. If you're drinking too hard for England, you have a problem. [DailyMail] (via Scrubbles)

Are you a member of "Gen Mix?" Are you 25-34? Do you "acquire your sense of optimism and self-confidence from Millennials, and your strong sense of self and security from Gen Xers?" VH1 has a new line-up just for you.

Can you believe that the bat Babe Ruth used to hit his first home run in Yankee Stadium sat under someone's bed for 18 years? Accidental Fortune gives hope to random people with random things looking to strike it rich.

Most people would not buy a used car from "The Government." According to a new Pew poll, just 22 percent of Americans say they trust the government "just about always" or "most of the time." Stupid government. [Reuters]