Hey hoarders, rationalize all that garbage you've been saving by making some busted crafts! That hanger one is a good idea, though. My God, paper towel rolls are useful! Hangers too.

He really, really can't. It's what he was born to do. Also today: details on a new Woody Allen movie, lots of casting news from actors both well known and relatively unknown, and Jeremy's... iron.

On last night's show, Stephen heaped thanks on major newspapers for reminding him it was Earth Day with special supplements. The New York Post's was clearly the most useful.

A shooting victim in Spain received the face and the underlying muscles of a donor "including cheekbones, nose, lips and teeth." The operation took 30 Spanish doctors 22 hours to perform. [BBC]

These birds look so happy listening to 'What is Love' and bopping with the beat.

A court in LA has denied Polanski's latest attempt to stay in his Swiss chalet forever more and avoid all the nasty prosecutors waiting for him in California. The decision may, finally, mean his return to the US. [CNN]

Combined with an absolutely epic collection of old clips from past Daily Shows, Jon took on the Muslim Extremists who threatened South Park with the same subtlety he gave to Fox News.

Cops visit Lindsay for two reasons in two days. Mariah Carey gains 57 lbs. Chace Crawford finds love in the time of volcanic eruption. Michelle Rodriguez's coming out party is saved. TGIFriday gossip roundup.

In the quest to help mold the coolest kid in the world you have to start them young and teach them well. Also, "if peeing your pants is cool consider me Miles Davis."

[Jersey Shore boys Ronnie, The Situation, and Vinnie in Miami; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Chris Matthews accidentally called his home network MSNBC on yesterday's 5:00pm airing of Hardball. "MF-NBC" is actually what Fox prefers to call it.

He's still flirting up a storm to hide that his doctor says he can't have sex anymore. He has more problems than the mysterious star set to come out of the closet May 5. She's got nothing but good news.

Playing with babies is a lot like picking your seats at at a Sea World live animal show: if you sit to close, you might get wet.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Earlier this week, many of you were angry to learn that a Double Down sandwich is healthier for you than a salad. Now the philanthropic Colonel Sanders is going to wipe out breast cancer, by selling you fried chicken!

Child molesting Bishop Roger Vangheluwe from Bruges, Belgium, has resigned from his post after he admitted sexually abusing children during his tenure. Earlier in the week, Bishop John Favalora of Miami and Bishop James Moriarty of Kildare, Ireland, also resigned. It's nice of them to resign, but shouldn't these people be in jail? [BBC]

Only the ex-governor knows what's right for New York (as the next comptroller?), and he's going to prove it this weekend at the red carpet event for the film about him, and in interviews with his former madame. [Politico]

Think undervalued currency is a big deal? Think again, naïve American, because China will soon have control of your ass, or at least what you wipe it with. Get ready for a lifetime of pain and suffering in the bathroom.

A death row inmate, when given the choice between execution by lethal injection or firing squad, wants the latter. He is one of four condemned prisoners in Utah who have asked for the option. State politicians fear a spectacle.

Did pornography cause the recession? According to the AP, the answer is: Probably! Over the last five years, the SEC has conducted 33 separate probes into "employees looking at explicit images"—explicit porno images. Let the "SEC/SEX" jokes begin!