You'd like to catch the laser pointer, wouldn't you, cat? Well...you'll have to dance for it.

Vanity Fair boss Graydon Carter is "hot and heavy" about opening a photography museum on Manhattan's far West Side. Geez, multiple restaurants, a magazine, a museum, and amazing fucking. Hot and heaviness pays off! [NYO]

The bond between mother and child is one of the most precious relationships possible. The more kids, the better: if mom accidentally murders one in a horrifically zany knife throwing act gone awry, there's always another to love/stab.

In a movie! In a movie. Don't worry. Also today: Young stars get lots of roles, a new movie about air pirates sounds intriguing, an actor joins a show we don't get, and Sarah Silverman is a sister.

It's worse than we thought: "Bret Michaels Brain Hemorrhage May Affect Pantene Campaign."

Do you have a crush but you're too afraid to approach the person? Don't be, just relax and watch this guide to boost your confidence. It's all in your head, you can do it.

Real-life princess Ivanka Trump is scared for her children because of Barack Obama. "At the end of the day," she tells Tucker Carlson, "the American people want to hear about jobs." On The Celebrity Apprentice! Sundays at 9/8 Central!

Last night Jessica Simpson talked about her addiction to Nicorette gum. It wouldn't be so odd if she didn't admit next that she's never smoked a cigarette in her life. Her rationale? "It feels like a party in my mouth!"

This little tiger tries to fight off sleep, but can't quite make it.

Magnum condoms, for those of you who don't know (not me), are big condoms that are great for when your penis is extra large. Who better to promote Magnum condoms than rappers, who have extra-large penises, as everyone knows?

His muscles are bulging but his pants aren't. No one recognizes this once-famous comedian. This reality guy is begging for coke and a Twitter celeb is meeting all sorts of ladies online. Today it's snips, snails, and dirty dog tales.

[Andy Samberg out with his girlfriend, who I believe is Joanna Newsom of the hardcore punk band Joanna Newsom and the Fucking Harpists; image via Bauer-Griffin]

What is the purpose of of car show models? It seems like they would just distract from the vehicles. At least, they would if they do what this woman did, and hit the ground like a floppy muppet.

Monster Season 2010 has already brought us the Giant Sea Bug and the Giant Scary Lizard; today, scientists say they have found the storied Giant Palouse Earthworm. Nine translucent inches...of doom. Eh. [NYT. Pic via]

Our nation's college journalists just cannot stop getting themselves arrested, for journalism. Alex Kotran, intrepid photojournalist-at-large for the Ohio State Lantern, was simply covering two runaway and potentially deadly cows, when he was rudely detained. Fiends.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

She's divorcing Jesse and will raise the baby alone. Larry King is a swinger. Lindsay blames a tawdry lie on her dad, who blames Perez Hilton. Courtney Love says Gavin cheated on Gwen with her. Wednesday's gossip cometh.

The embattled CEO of Goldman Sachs had a long day on Capitol Hill yesterday, giving all sorts of non-answers to angry lawmakers and squinting a lot. Afterward, he left a message for his flock of distraught traders: "This is Lloyd..."

Doing business in Russia can get really nasty, really fast. New York real estate developer Janna Bullock is finding out how bad as she fights a smear campaign being waged by a Russian judo instructor turned corporate raider.

Handling your liquor in public can be hard. But it can get really tough right after giving a speech about your personal history of substance abuse. Just ask Rep. Patrick Kennedy; he tried and was cut off at the bar.