We love a man in attractive eyewear, so we were very excited when Anderson Cooper announced on Live with Regis and Kelly this morning that he needs glasses. But the two choices he showed off were horrible.

An incredibly fake-looking advertising campaign for Huggies' denim diapers can't include the world "poop", ABC has decided. Yes, that's right, the commercial's tag line—"the coolest you'll look pooping your pants"—is for real.

Want to know how to properly hold a rifle? It's easy, just do the exact opposite of what this guy does.

Jonathan Trappe is a "cluster balloonist," specializing in flying the way the old man in Up did. Today Jonathan crossed the English channel, fulfilling "this wonderful fantasy of grabbing onto toy balloons and floating into open space," he explained.

Hollywood Salutes Matt Damon aired last night and apparently we weren't the only ones scratching our heads. Kimmel began the roast with "we're giving a salute to someone in their 30's?" and "I just don't think he deserves a salute."

Hello, friends. Your Gawker Housewives recapper is feeling a little burnt-out by this unending, shriek-filled season. So he enlisted the help of another Gawker staffer to pose some questions that might make it a little easier to tackle today's tale.

BP's vagueness on their attempts to quell the giant oil spill threatening the gulf coast is starting to look deliberate. They're keeping journalists away. They say the 'top kill' method worked. It's emerged it didn't. One congressman has had enough.

TLC's Mall Cops premiered last night, a show which basically is an advertisement for how horribly boring the Mall of America is. If you venture a trip, keep in mind: no dancing, no trans-gender dress, and no "numchuks".

It used to be that celebrities hid from the paparazzi by wearing stealthy sunglasses. While camera-shy stars like Sandra Bullock hide indoors, Lindsay Lohan has invented a new ruse, hiding her face behind designer purses and shopping bags.

If you want to join MTV's ongoing reality madness, you're in luck: Open casting calls for Jersey Shore are scheduled for Sunday in Las Vegas and Atlantic City. Getting on the show won't be easy though. Here are some tips.

He also may just be the most charming man in the world. Robert Downey Jr. sat down on The Late Show last night to frankly talk about the ways he used to get by.

If a breakthrough that cures 100 per cent of the vicious virus in monkeys can be applied to humans, movies like Outbreak and Virus will become no more than historical whimsy. And they'll have to make movies about athlete's foot.

What TV Show Is Going to Be the New Lost? [io9.com]

Glenn Beck has never been very tactful, but his four-minute tirade against Malia Obama this morning over her "Did you plug the hole yet, Daddy?" question regarding BP's oil leak represented a reprehensible new low. Audio inside. Update: Beck responds.

Welcome to a new segment called "Friday Funbags," a "Kade Style" spotlight and ratings breakdown on a particular female that is happening in "The Biz" this week.

Oh, Fox & Friends. Land of geniuses. The regular crew were all off on their oil prospecting vacations today, so we were stuck with the brilliant fill-ins. Watch as one of them, Clayton Morris, gets his own name wrong. Twice!

There's been a thirteenth suicide attempt at the Foxconn factory in China. Slit wrists.

Last night NBC premiered a new sitcom called 100 Questions which is predictably terrible and also offensively derivative. The show, about a group of urban friends, brings together elements of every sitcom you've ever seen.

One Tuesday last June a man stopped at this gas station in Tennessee to use the bathroom. The toilet "malfunctioned." What happened next left him with "urologic injury, neck injury, prostatic trauma with urinary retention… and trembles from pain."

If you're having a bad day, this video should cheer you up—or at least put things into perspective. Here's Jonathan, an eight-month-old deaf baby who received a cochlear implant. Watch as Jonathan reacts to hearing his first sound.