Phyllis Nefler took a break from lounging by the pool issuing bon mots to the assembled C-list celebrities at her feet to score today's New York Times wedding announcements. It is Memorial Day weekend. Wedding season has begun in earnest.

It's New York's Fleet Week! We told you how to nab a sailor; this bus driver apparently heeded our advice. She met a sailor on the street and snapped a picture with him. Now she wants to find him again.

You will measure your life before and after this moment. After years of merely overlapping triangular pieces of cheese on their sandwiches, cruelly loading one side with more than the other, Subway will now tessellate the slices, according to Consumerist.

Do people enjoy Bill Maher? He seems very hit or miss. Like, sometimes you want to hit him when he misses. On his HBO show, Bill Maher did a bit about what he thinks a real black president should do.

BP are allegedly still keeping some journalists from reporting the oil spill. One photographer described access as "slowly being strangled off," and others have been threatened with arrest. Pilots with journalists on board are sometimes barred from flying low. [AP]

British Secretary of the Treasury David Laws resigned yesterday after it was revealed he expensed $57,000 to cover rent for his boyfriend. Meh. If this had happened in America, Laws would also be an outspoken anti-gay crusader. [Telegraph]

Yesterday the Palin tweeted the following: "VETERANS,not reporters,give freedom of the press.VETS,not politicians,give freedom to vote.VETS,not campus radicals,give freedom to assemble." She did not mention that she'd stolen it from a 1970 poem.

Lady Gaga buys some ghostbusting equipment. Michelle McGee strips for a cheating website. Sarah Ferguson has standards. How did Gary Coleman die? Sunday's Gossip Round up is trying to concentrate even though there's a big parade outside.

Joe Rogan is famous for many things. He hosted "Fear Factor," he commentates for the UFC, and he's also a very funny and often times overly vulgar stand up comic, when he's not ripping off other people's material.

This week, Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren posted a poll asking who was dumber: She or a guy who sent her hate mail. Since we last checked, those voting "Greta" rose from 58% to 77%. A landslide!

Mark Kirk, the Republican running for President Obama's old Senate seat, said on several occasions that he received the Navy's exclusive Intelligence Officer of the Year award. He hasn't. And the Washington Post found out about it.

[Director Brett Ratner (Rush Hour) scratches his balls in a successful manner. Pic by Bauer-Griffin.]

How much can you learn about a person from their Facebook update? A lot, if that person is , Diane Passage, wife of alleged accused Hollywood Ponzi scheme artist Kenneth Starr. She loves to shop!

The New York Post report today that the Justice Department has been calling "a handful of the country's biggest media and technology companies," to get their views on Apple. A prospect that cannot fill Steve Jobs with confidence.

The top kill has failed. Now BP is so desperate that they put a hotline on their website where you can call in and offer ideas. We called it and a nice woman answered. We gave her some ideas. Listen!

As of July 1st 'medical marijuana' (sarcastic inverted commas ours) will be legal in New Jersey. Some Jerseyites are leaving their dull careers, taking classes in pot selling and girding themselves for the rush.

After Katrina there were tours of the devastated Ninth Ward. So it makes a kind of twisted sense that, according to Andrew Clark in the Guardian, tourists can now take a guided tour through the financial crisis on Wall Street.

Today, Gail Collins touches on the demented logic of those viral Alabama campaign ads. (Dale Peterson! Tim James!) Basically, if your ad is outlandish enough, no one will care that your candidate is equally ridiculous. Ugh, we helped those people.

The actor, director of movies including Easy Rider, hellraiser and Hollywood legend died today at his home in Venice, California after a long battle with cancer. He was 74. [Washington Post]

Officials from Jefferson Parish, Louisiana have told Yahoo News and local NBC affiliate WDSU that BP bused in hundreds of temporary workers to make it look like they were doing more than they were for oil-slicked local beaches.