Tutankhamen's penis is missing! Maybe you think it was the victim of a "brutal autopsy"? Or, if you're conspiracy-minded, you think someone removed it because it was "under-developed"? Either way, you're thinking about a mummy's penis. [New Scientist]

Tesla's electric sedan won't go on sale for years, if ever, but that didn't keep buyers from bidding up Tesla stock 40 percent on its first trading day. CEO Elon Musk stole the hearts of yet another round of investors.

D.C. Benny discovers the secret to satisfying his wife and to skipping the emergency room line.

Larry King is announcing the end of his show tonight, according to a posting on his website. He won't be leaving CNN and will "continue to contribute... with periodic specials." Click through for statement, speculation, and CNN memos.

[The expressions on the faces of Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan and her brother Irving sum up exactly how we feel about Senate confirmation hearings. Image via AP]

This man might have the craziest talk show on TV: his cohost is a skeleton, he drinks from a rattlesnake mug, frequently caresses the camera and now curses in other languages.

Foursquare just took a $20 million venture investment that valued the social network at $95 million. Congratulations, preening "mayors:" Your obsessive "checking in" with Foursquare's mobile software has been successfully monetized.

The guys in Derrick Comedy (Donald Glover, Dominic Dierkes, DC Pierson) take a Behind the Music look at a new way to market pop music.

Today on Oprah, Andrew Young and his wife, Cheri, had a tough time coherently answering Oprah's questions as she tries to figure out how they thought it was alright to involve themselves in this scandal.

New York City opened its public pools today to help residents cope with the record heat wave. Too bad they'll be full of squealing children. Here are some other more peaceful but equally cool ways to beat the heat.

Us Weekly claims actor Jason Bateman got booed for cutting in line for the iPhone. Jason denies it and Keith Olbermann's got his back—but people keep saying it happened. Come, let us untangle this knotted web of lies.

Today we looked at how prettyboy Massachusetts (sigh) senator Scott Brown totally doesn't want to pass finance reform. One commenter poetically elaborated on a sad and obvious fact: Brown isn't actually making any decisions himself.

I've really been missing Modern Family, haven't you? Good thing the majority of them are Twitter addicts (including baby Lily)! So what has our favorite TV family been up to in the off season? Let's find out!

Lady Gaga's stylist Nicola Formichetti posted this picture from a Vouge Hommes Japan shoot today that looks suspiciously like Lady Gaga dressed up like a man. Has her penis finally been allowed to have its own public persona? Let's hope!

It's hard to imagine the excitement within Fox News' offices yesterday upon hearing the words "Russian spies," which proved that Cold War is very much on. Glenn Beck, for one, is using it to show that our Enemies smell weakness.

When you and your mom are best friends and drinking buddies, you might have problems. When you're acting as a look out for your mom as she panhandles for beer money, you definitely have problems.

[Real Housewife of New York City Jessie Jellybeans Kelly Bensimon takes one of her patented street-jogs with an unidentified individual; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Since Scott Brown is scared of making enormous banks pay a few bucks to implement financial regulatory reform, Congress has re-opened "closed" negotiations and will probably take the cash from either small banks or your tax dollars. Seriously. [Image: AP]

Hulu launches a $9.99/month subscription service, getting excited for Children's Hospital, Matt Roloff talks about his health problems, a look at Undercovers, and star of Party Down and Parks and Recreation was once on Boy Meets World.

Nathan's annual Hot Dog Eating Contest takes place on July 4th. With all the speculation about the contestants, let's get one thing clear: Competitive eating is not a sport. Here are some other activities that should stop pretending they're athletics.