Media mogul Mort Zuckerman is "clarifying" his claim that he helped write one of Barack Obama's speeches, after White House speechwriters said they had never met or spoken to him. He merely meant... uhh... that he supports Obama or something?

Anna Chapman, the recently-deported Russian spy who's clearly the important of the bunch because she's the hottest, is thinking about selling her story to a British tabloid. The only potential problem: doing so would violate her plea bargain agreement.

Now that Swiss authorities have decided Roman Polanski should not be extradited to the US, the animators at Crux have come up with an interactive YouTube cartoon where you decide—innocence? Or torture by way of Ryan Seacrest?

Another day, another great Funny or Die exclusive. This time, Jewel disguised herself—prosthetic nose and all—as a homely businesswoman, visited a Santa Monica karaoke bar and sang a couple of her songs. The results were awesome. Video inside.

Fox News analyst and frequent Glenn Beck fill-in, Andrew Napolitano, recently went on CSPAN for an interview with Ralph Nader and said that George Bush and Dick Cheney should have been indicted "for torturing, for spying, for arresting without warrants."

The director/actor/writer/producer with a cult following is back, promoting his new film. The teaser only shows Wiseau screaming and writhing in blood, but that's enough to get fans excited for the film's upcoming release at this summer's Comic Con.

One of my unwritten rules: watching old people perform tasks—especially ones that don't traditionally suit them—is always both endearing and funny. Case in point: "Party Dad," a geriatric DJ who really, really, really likes to spin the beats.

Do you have a desire to lose weight, an aversion to all those "science-based" workout programs, a gullible nature, and $79, plus shipping? Then you need Body Gospel™—the faith-based workout. But what makes Body Gospel™ so revolutionary?

Trying to impress his friends, this kid does his best Kerri Strug impersonation. The only difference is that he can't pull off the landing and ends up with a face full of sand.

Too sensitive to listen to Mel Gibson's curse-strewn, rape-threatening phone rants? Too bored to read the transcripts? Try these visual aids, created by plugging his fights with ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva into Wordle. The words he said most often are biggest.

Sex & the City it's not, but it's the closest thing we can get when it comes to crime dramas. Again, we have a new crime drama but unlike the many others this one is chock-full of sisterly bonding.

The ethereal actress doesn't only cook beautifully and sing pleasingly. She plays the guitar capably too! She had to learn it, perfectly, for her new movie, Love Don't Let Me Down. She plays a washed-up country singer. Gwyenth, washed-up?? Never!

[Leighton Meester films "Gossip Girl" in Paris; image via Splash]

Amid rumors her house is under foreclosure, table-flipping Jersey Housewife Teresa Giudice explains how she's not broke, only her husband is! She then compares her massive debt to that of Donald Trump, the man who defines the word foreclosure.

Most Americans want Glenn Beck to be our next president and return us to prosperity. The only hiccup? Getting him to run! Fortunately, the clown lady in this video is circulating a petition to change all that.

In your profane Tuesday media column: the FCC's indecency policy is struck down, John King is an unpopular host, Playboy's future is cloudy, and Campbell Brown has a mere two weeks left on CNN—though she has our hearts forever.

For better or worse, part of the last year Monday Night Raw has had the pleasure—or displeasure—of having a celebrity guest hosts. For whatever reason, last night's broadcast featured Florence "Mrs. Brady" Henderson as host.

After our stories last month detailing American Apparel's photo-based hiring policy, picky beauty standards, and pissed-off work force, we wondered: Have things changed at AA? According to a recent job applicant: not a bit.

Remember Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree? Well, thanks to Second City, the children's classic has been reimagined: what would it be like if the eleemosynary, deciduous title character had a fabulously sassy BFF? Watch the video inside and find out.

The FDA just found that a daily pill to fight obesity really works. Before you jump with joy (if you can even get off the ground, fatty), note that you can't buy it because the FDA's worried you'll go crazy.