Tonight, David Letterman welcomed Brian Williams to his show. For the first four minutes of their chat, Letterman did nothing but talk about Jay Leno—his voice, cars, etc.—and implore Williams not to appear on his show. Video inside.

[Biologists rescued this baby pink dolphin—one of many trapped by low water levels thanks to a drought—from the Pailas river in Santa Cruz, Bolivia. Pic via AP.]

Tonight, Jon Stewart discussed Fox News and its reports about the funding sources of the "Ground Zero Mosque." Specifically, Saudi prince Al-Waleed bin Talal. But Fox never mentions his name... or that he's a part owner of its parent company.

Levi Johnston, who had a baby with vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin's daughter last year, and is now famous in that vague, 21st-century way, is running for political office in Wasilla—where Palin was once mayor. Here's his filing.

On the run after committing murder, Andy and Co. find themselves in a little bit of trouble during their escape to Canada. Acquiring fake identification is tougher than you think, especially when dealing with that kid from Little Giants.

More than 120 people in Alabama were sickened by an ammonia leak at a refrigeration plant.

Guess what! The Miss Universe pageant is on right now. Since nobody cares about who wins, I've decided to pull clips of the worst/creepiest/most awkward moments—just from the first hour!—and post them as your schadenfreude fix. Videos inside.

The ten funniest jokes of the famous Edinburgh Fringe—a huge performing arts festival held in Scotland—have been named! And they are hilarious. But will you "get" them? No worries! We've provided helpful explanations right here.

Laura Ingraham, racial stereotype-enforcing hack, guest hosted The O'Reilly Factor tonight. While discussing President Obama's apparently still undecided religion, Ingraham made some astute, reasoned arguments for why people think he's Muslim. HA, JUST KIDDING—they were horrible. Video inside.

We all remember the words that gave us trouble as a kid to spell. Watch as Williams' relives learning the ridiculous spelling of the word "knife."

Thought you were safe in the big city? Think again: Not only was an alligator found under a Datsun in New York, another one (pictured) is living in the Chicago river. Your so-called "modern art" museums won't save you now!

A Domino's Pizza delivery driver in Apex, NC has been fired after a black customer noticed the words, "N*GGER DON'T TIP" printed on the bottom of her receipt and reported the incident. Now, she's receiving several threatening calls. Video inside.

Joe Scarborough—former Republican Congressional Representative—and guests presented some surprisingly well-thought out arguments that resonate with every New York City native while simultaneously discussing Frank Rich's op-ed for the Times and arguing against both demagogues and "freaks on the far-right."

Meet the website I Can Stalk You, a firehose listing of Twitterers giving away their location by posting geotagged photos. The site creators show how to avoid such geotagging; as with the similar PleaseRobMe.com, you should probably heed this advice. [ReadWriteWeb] Correction: We previously said I Can Stalk You was made by the creators of PleaseRobMe.com; though the sites both shine a light on the dangers of online oversharing, they were started by entirely different teams.

The Occupational Safety and Health Administration has fined SeaWorld Orlando $75,000 for three safety violations stemming from the killer whale attack that led to trainer Dawn Brancheau's death this past February. SeaWorld says it plans to contest the violations.

File under: things we wish we'd thought of first, but are glad somebody else did, because they're awesome. Here's Pun's Labyrinth, which takes Pan's Labyrinth and "translates" it in order to make hilarious, pun-tastic English captions. Watch and laugh inside.

[These residents of Khanghar in Central Pakistan don't get to enjoy the beautiful sunset while wading through flood waters toward drier parts of the area. Image via AP]

The Atlanta field division of the Drug Enforcement Administration, apparently, has all of these bugged tapes of black people, but can't understand any of it. So it's looking to hire nine "Ebonics" speakers, to translate this garbled nonsense.

Teabaggers will soon descend on Washington for Glenn Beck's "Restoring Honor" rally, taking place at the site of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "Dream" speech, on its anniversary. What precautions should they take to avoid being murdered in this deadly town?

When Joshua Jackson staged "Pacey-Con" at Comic Con, he wasn't sure it would be a viral hit. A month later, he recalls the ironic issues he had with security even though he was supposed to be there for Fringe.