The Short List is VH1's latest incarnation of its "Best Week Ever" franchise, and in the midst of an episode devoted to Hollywood Beach Bodies, they presented navel evidence suggesting that these three celebrities were spawned in an underground laboratory.

America's trashiest magazine collides with Snooki's allegedly abusive, fame-seeking boyfriend. Paris Hilton is "not worried" about her cocaine arrest. Kim Kardashian sees her sister's vagina and likes it. Naya Rivera definitely egged Mark Salling's car. Monday gossip is a mess.

Organic food, imported tequila, gossip, glee, and doodling; Sunday Morning has found the stairway to heaven. From rooftop farms in Brooklyn to real life Glee—there were a few things that Sunday Morning had to teach us.

Last Friday, 11 year-old Briana Ojeda had a serious asthma attack. Her parents put her in the car and took off for the hospital, careening the wrong way down a one-way street. An officer stopped her. Briana didn't make it.

True Blood provided the most meta moment in the history of the show. Since the actors who play Sookie and Bill recently got married to each other in real life, we now have some idea how that would work out.

Nicole John, the 17 year-old daughter of the US ambassador to Thailand, fell 22 stories to her death at a Manhattan house party last week. Her death's been ruled an accident. But the hand-wringing over her lifestyle's only begun.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Is your NYC landlord a total scumbag? Maybe he/she is on the "Worst Landlords Watchlist"!

[Newly graduated members of India's paramilitary Central Industrial Security Force mug for the camera today in Hyderabad. The force is tasked with guarding nuclear installations and power plants. Image via AP]

French "Spiderman" Alain Robert was arrested today for scaling a 57-story building in Australia. Robert's agent, who just happened to be on hand, said he was "shocked," and had absolutely no clue it was going to happen.

The Mount Sinabung volcano, which until yesterday had been dormant for 400 years, erupted again today shortly after authorities said everything was "back to normal." At least 21,000 people have been evacuated from the area. [AP]

Good news for criminals in China: The government has proposed dropping the death penalty for several crimes, such as smuggling exotic animals and relics. And no more elderly executions, either. Currently, 68 crimes are punishable by death in China.

Alleged President Obama sat down with 30 Rock cast member Brian Williams on Sunday to talk about some... French city? Or something? Who even knows?? Because the important part is that Obama once again rejected the demands of millions of reasonable Americans, who are just naturally suspicious of this black fellow claiming to be president. See, Obama told Williams that he "can't spend all of my time with my birth certificate plastered on my forehead." Oh, and why is that, "Mister" "President"? Most likely because you can't plaster something to your forehead... if it doesn't exist.

Hurricane Earl strengthened to Category 2 as it passed north of Barbuda early Monday morning.

A board member of Germany's central bank told the German paper Welt am Sontag that "all Jews share a certain gene." As you might imagine, everyone is feeling just great about a powerful German just sharing his opinion about Jews.

Grad student John Boldt had his laptop (which held his thesis) stolen. But he backed everything up, so no big deal, right? Well: His backup hard drive was stolen too, and now he may have to drop out.

[The Fonte Nova stadium is imploded in Salvador, Brazil on Sunday. A new stadium for the 2014 World Cup will be built in the same location. But better! Promise. Pic via AP.]

On the night of its third consecutive Emmy for Best Dramatic Series, Mad Men got a little postmodern and delivered an episode about Don's Clio and the havoc it brings. Plus, Peggy pushes her new art director.

Oxford University Press is considering discontinuing the print version of the Oxford English Dictionary. What's killing the print dictionary? The same thing that killed your attention span, and your manners, and your marriage: The internet.

Children's Hospital's second season promised new faces and tearful goodbyes to old friends. Last week, Henry Winkler joined the cast. This week, Lake Bell's Dr. Cat Black left this mortal coil to make room for Malin Akerman's Dr. Valerie Flame.