Remember the "I like turtles" zombie-child? His name is Jonathan, and he was treated to a celebration of everyone's favorite shelled creature during his web redemption segment on tonight's episode of Tosh.0.

[A USGS wildlife biologist observes tagged walruses near Point Lay, Alaska. (Pic AP)]

Tonight, Jon Stewart opined on last night's primary elections. Most notably, he discussed nutjob Christine O'Donnell's victory in the Delaware Senate primary—she's like Sarah Palin, but worse! Then, Stewart and panel hilariously broke it all down. Video inside.

Calumet County District Attorney Kenneth Kratz sent 30 suggestive text messages to a 26-year-old woman while he was prosecuting her ex-boyfriend for allegedly choking her. One gem: "You may be the tall, young, hot nymph, but I am the prize!''

Tonight brought us the Real World finale, and—even though he was forced out of the house weeks ago—Ryan was back! Inside, video of all of the psychotic stupidity from tonight's episode that you've come to expect from him.

We've already explained how the cuddly Pedobear is an Internet joke—not a 'mascot' pedophiles use to lure their prey. Reporters and police in Tulsa, Oklahoma obviously don't read Gawker. In America's Heartland, a full-blown Pedobear Panic is underway.

Google issued a short statement yesterday confirming our report about David Barksdale, the ex-Google engineer fired for violating users' privacy and spying on minors. But the statement did little to answer some big questions about Barksdale's conduct and Google's policies.

Welcome to our end-of-season commenting blowout. Join us! Because the site of the Top Chef finale is Singapore, tonight's live-blogging party will be dedicated to that late, great figure of Singaporean history, Ngiam Tong Boon.

Jo Koy on the joys of parenthood—especially when your child's inability to enunciate leads to embarrassing misunderstandings.

North Korea has postponed a major political convention—is it because Kim Jong Il's sick? Some have seen signs of kidney failure; some say it's pancreatic cancer. Let's hope he doesn't pass out on a nuclear missile's "launch" button.

The Chicago Tribune has just released 50 never-before-seen photos of many of today's top actors back when they were struggling comedians at Second City. Try to see how many actors you can guess without cheating inside!

[A model gets the full beauty treatment backstage at the Eva Minge show this afternoon, the second-to-last day of Fashion Week. Image via Getty]

The delightful Amy Ryan gave an interview to LX New York today where she discussed the rumors surrounding her role as Holly on The Office. Will she and Michael Scott get married? Will Holly take over for Michael? Video inside.

Three employees at a veterinarian's office in Egg Harbor Township, NJ say they saw a man fall from the sky on Tuesday, sans parachute. An exhaustive search has turned up nothing. This is pretty disconcerting!

Jamie Lee Curtis stopped by the Tonight Show to promote her new children's book. Watch them banter/bicker like an old married couple while Curtis explains that people thank her every single day for helping them with their digestive "irregularities."

Jacob Isom—the rattail-coiffed hero who swiped a Koran from right-wing fanatics and ran—has a dream. "I want to be in High Times," he told me by telephone. Then he showed me a t-shirt screenprinted with his face.

Though he famously refused to join the Oprah Book Club for The Corrections, it seems Franzen's letting his newest tome, Freedom, get pimped by the Empress of Everything. Wonder what changed! Maybe he just wants to piss off Jodi Picoult.

Today's guests seeking Swift Justice with Nancy Grace lost their baby and are now fighting over a $22 tanning session. Then, the defendant recalls when he had sex with her when she was blackout drunk. Nancy is not having it.

Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell has spent the past day apologizing for his state's homeland security department, which had been distributing "anti-terrorism" bulletins listing upcoming environmentalist and LGBT protests — at a cost of $125,000 to taxpayers, naturally.

Today we all laughed and cried at the primary victory of Crazy Christine O'Donnell, jerk-off queen of the First State. What are the normal Republicans going to do??? Well, hopefully learn an important lesson, if one commenter has their way.