[Arriving at a bail hearing for failing a drug test, Lohan flaunts her sassiest courtroom ensemble yet. The quantity and quality of her jewelry suggests she doesn't think she's going to jail. At least, not right away. Image via Splash.]

After a long period of speculation, incompetent NBC Universal CEO Jeff Zucker finally announced today that he'll be leaving once Comcast's takeover of NBC is complete. He won't be missed. He'll be running for office soon. Mawkish goodbye memo, below.

Gawker.TV Trivia, a daily question & answer game that tests your knowledge of television-past and present. Do you think that you've got it? Check out the answer to today's question, inside.

Parents often find themselves trying to determine if their little tomboy will end up loving the ladies, or if their Little Lord Fauntleroy will like boy-on-boy. They probably will, say scientists. What are some other signs your offspring is queer?

Here's what a farmer's market is: farmers, selling their wares, in a market. Here's what a farmer's market isn't: Safeway wheeling its tomatoes out in front of the store. Okay, well, you don't have to so elitist about it!

This morning, the adorable Kiernan Shipka, AKA Sally Draper, talked to the hosts of Good Day, New York about her television parents, pretty dresses and how she's not allowed to watch Mad Men. Watch inside!

Apparently orange juice contains traces of sleep-aid drugs, because this cat managed to fall asleep with his chin in a glass of OJ. Check out his snore-filled, citrus-scented nap here.

Stephen Colbert made his spontaneous, in-character appearance testifying in a House committee this morning, where he said some very nice things about migrant workers. This came after mean old Rep. John Conyers asked him to leave at the hearing's start.

35-year-old Somerville, MA resident Mitchell Heisman shot himself in Harvard Yard last Saturday in front of a tour group. Turns out he left a sprawling, deeply-researched suicide note, conveniently located at suicidenote.info

Negotiators just arrived at a Florida bank, where a hostage situation is under way.

[Lenny Kravitz—henceforth known as Lenny Gaga—struts his stuff in knee-high go-go boots, a draped cowl neck sweater, ornate black leather pants, reflective sunglasses, earrings, and a hip-slung purse on a cobbled street in New York City. Image via Splash.]

So you'd hardly expect Sal and Catt from The Daily Ten to maintain their composure, right? The puns practically write themselves. Ladies and gentleman, welcome to Thursday's Teleprompter Bloopers: Part 1!

Yesterday a blogger accused House Minority Leader John Boehner of having an affair with a lobbyist. Today, Page Six reports the Times is working on a Boehner affair exposé. Will this turn into a speculative free-for-all a la David Paterson?

If you're in the greater NYC area, we got our hands on a pair of tickets to tonight's premiere of Howl, featuring James Franco. It's never too last minute to give away a pair of free tickets, right? Details inside!

"¡Goya!" For many Americans, the name alone invokes fearful memories of some weird food that Mexicans probably eat, who even knows. Now, Goya is working to assure white people: This stuff is good! But are whites ready?

He even has her salary stipulated in his contracts. This star mistakenly tried to employ a journalist in a coke deal and another actor's PR team is ruining the image of the girl he cheated with. What a hairy situation.

Make that a quartet! We know these two lovely ladies love each other, but what about Jimmy Fallon and Questlove? Plus, Amy dishes on what's going on with Parks and Recreation, which has yet to air it's second season.

Lindsay Lohan has a bail hearing today. James Franco got a D in acting class. Taylor Momsen slaps Tim Gunn on the wrist. Nancy Wilson and Cameron Crowe divorce. TGIFriday gossip.

This morning, Scott Jones, the TV blogger who broke the news of Jay Leno's return to the Tonight Show, reported that CNN president Jon Klein will "be fired" today. Well—he just forwarded us Klein's farewell memo. It's below. [UPDATED]

There was a full moon on The Vampire Diaries last night, and that can only mean one thing: Werewolves. It is impossible for a vampire TV show to exclude the furry monsters.