NY1's loveable goofball reporter Roger Clark, on the scene this morning: "These are the guys that fight firefighters." Debonair anchor Pat Kiernan: "They fight fires, right?" The ensuing 40 seconds of chuckling miscommunication are classic. Never change, you guys.

The writer of The Social Network discussed his new movie and Facebook on The View today. Sorkin believes "socializing on the internet is what reality TV is to reality" and somewhat-hypocritically that everyone should see his movie this weekend.

After dropping some fish on the floor, Martha casually tosses it into the pot, as Todd reassures us that any dirt will be "cooked off," and Martha claims to have the "cleanest studio on Earth." The audience sounds skeptical.

Captain Phil Harris died earlier this year and now Sig Hansen and brothers Johnathan and Andy Hillstrand are leaving Discovery hit Deadliest Catch amid a messy contract dispute. Will there be any crab fisherman left to film once they're gone?

A thousand people were feared dead in yesterday's Mexican mudslide. Actual toll: 11 missing.

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Iowa's senior senator Chuck Grassley, who has a famously incoherent Twitter feed, finally brags about it on the air.

[Emma Roberts gets a parking ticket in Beverly Hills, and asks herself, "What would Aunt Julia do?" Image via Splash.]

Gawker.TV Trivia, a daily question & answer game that tests your knowledge of television—past and present. Do you think you that you've got it? The answer to today's question, inside.

Margaret Matthews, a 68 year-old Chicago woman, was reportedly being "terrorized" by a group of middle school vandals in her neighborhood. So when one of them broke her window, she shot him. He's 12. She's already a folk hero.

Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei, both 18, have been charged with planting a webcam in a Rutgers dorm and broadcasting a classmate's sexual encounter. The classmate is believed to have committed suicide. Here's what Dharun did, step by step.

Barbara caught an embarrassing interview with Levi Johnston in which he gave honest responses like "You're kind of getting over my head on these things here" and "I have no idea." Watch the clip—and the ladies' opinions—inside.

The 1998 Ford Expedition could very well have been named the Ford Trebuchet. In slow-motion, the unrestrained roll-over trials these dummies endure look almost fun. (Key word: almost.)

Who's that old dude in this ad raising his arms triumphantly, to symbolize Mercedes-Benz's new gull-winged SLS AMG coupe? It's MLK himself, giving his famous speech, "I Have an Insanely Expensive Benz And You Don't, Bitches." Ah, history. [WaPo]

At this recent boxing match, Polish singer Mateusz Krautwurst absolutely butchers our national anthem, begging the question: Why sign up to sing the anthem if you clearly don't know one word of the song? Well, either way, thank you Mateusz.

The New York Times Magazine has been looking for a new editor for months now. So has Newsweek. Tina Brown's been (unsuccessfully) batting down rumors about her own career's future. An update, please!

She may be "dating" a costar, but her heart is with her cyber sweetie. This pop star was forced to have plastic surgery, this reality star doesn't tip strippers, and a celeb loves coke. Does she get it from Craigslist?

Crosby might be the youngest of the adult Bravermans, but last night he pulled off fatherhood well. With Jasmine out of town, he took over and made some things clear to Jasmine's mother.

Meg Whitman's "Latina household employee" is having a Gloria Allred-sponsored press conference today. What "explosive" allegations will she make about the eBay billionaire turned politician? Racism? Beat-downs? Slavery? Orgies? Something about her terrible sons? I can't wait!

Incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian actually wrote an op-ed on "The Importance of SEO." Ahem.

Mr. Mariah Carey seeks sponsors for his birthday party. Paris Hilton "quits the club scene." Liza Minnelli celebrates photo retouching. Lindsay Lohan gets a job. Wednesday gossip will get you through the hump of the week.