Haitian non-president Wyclef is now a "visiting fellow" in Brown University's Department of Africana Studies.

The Jolie-Pitt brood begins school in a fortress of solitude in Budapest. Jennifer Aniston is the world's most eligible single lady. Chelsea Handler goes on a date with 50 Cent. Tuesday gossip is ready to mingle.

In London promoting his new novel Freedom, Jodi Picoult's favorite author had his trademark spectacles stolen by party crashers, who left behind a $100,000 ransom note. They were apprehended soon after by a HarperCollins staffer who "gave chase."

How did Gawker.TV fare in the past rainy week's worth of social media? Not too shabby! We're up to 5,393 Twitter followers (up 2.16%), 1,732 Tumblr followers (up 3.16%) and 5,292 Facebook fans (up 5.78%)!

Medical marijuana ads are providing much-needed revenue to alt-weeklies across America. Good news financially—and journalistically. What do publishers say? "The joke around here is that it's a budding business." Hahaha. Mercy. Okay, you got us. [NYT]

Two men found shot dead execution-style in their SUV near Union Square in Manhattan yesterday were each witnesses to separate murders in NYC last year—but cops don't think that's why they were killed.

This beautiful short film was shot with a Canon 5D MKII, a high-end digital camera that also takes great-looking HD video. But, instead of using regular lenses, the filmmaker attached an 102 year-old Wollensak Cine-Velostigmat lens. The result is incredible.

Good or bad news, depending on whether you assign more moral weight to preserving our planet's environment or to quiet snacking technology: Sun Chips is retiring its incredibly-loud-when-crinkling biodegradable bag. The environment's nice and everything, but...loud crinkling sounds. Priorities. [USAT]

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

British researchers have concluded that Neanderthals "had a sense of compassion," and didn't just wantonly kill and maim each other as previously thought. Closely examined remains prove that they cared for the sick and disabled. Sounds pretty damn socialist, no?

The Hungarian government is calling a toxic sludge spill there an "ecological disaster" and has declared a state of emergency after three people were killed and over 100 injured when a reservoir at an alumina plant ruptured. Six are missing.

Jérôme Kerviel, the Société Générale trader who lost $6.7 billion of the bank's money, was sentenced to five years in prison today.

Rapper Lil' Wayne, who is expected to serve eight months of a one-year sentence for illegal gun possession, is now stuck in solitary confinement after guards found headphones and an iPod charger hidden in his jail cell on Rikers Island.

Who: The creator of Saturday Night Live, Michaels has been producing the show for more than three decades.

The 33 trapped Chilean miners may be catching a break, after rescuers said they have only 524 feet left to drill before reaching the men. Original estimates had the miners being rescued around Christmas. Just in time, too. [BBC; AP]

Five German citizens—alleged militants—were killed during a drone strike in Pakistan.

Rick Sanchez—the CNN anchor who was fired after insinuating that Jews control the media—might be coming out of hiding. According to Sanchez's wife, he called Daily Show host Jon Stewart (the target of Sanchez's remarks) to say "sorry."

Vietnam's ruling communist party isn't too psyched about the idea of its citizens using Facebook and other social networking sites. So they've made their own: It's called go.vn, and you need your government-issued I.D. number to sign up.

Looks like NYC subway stations are getting cell phone service earlier than expected: Six stations—Along 14th St., and at 23rd St. and 8th Ave.—should be wired by the end of 2011. It will be both convenient and annoying.

Brazilian congressional candidate Francisco Everardo Oliveira Silva won 1.3 million votes in the country's Sunday elections—twice as many as the second-place finisher. It may be because he is also a clown named Tiririca ("Grumpy") with amazing campaign ads.