Tube-free toilet paper is here. Whoa.

The (ex-)Rand Paul county coordinator who stomped on a liberal activist's head before a Kentucky Senate debate Monday night would like an apology from her. She started it and was basically asking for it, you see.

Budding starlet Blake Lively splits up with boyfriend and Gossip Girl costar Penn Badgley. Charlie Sheen blames his naked hotel rampage on an "allergic reaction." Boy George throws a drink at a fan. Wednesday's gossip is happy it's over.

Bizarre Irish twin act Jedward has been harassed repeatedly at Heathrow Airport by security agents who think it's funny to bully singing X-Factor twins with curious hair. Take it from people who also fit that description: It gets better, Jedward.

In a TMZ-style report, Paul Scheer's famous alter ego visits Africa to find a cause. Why? Because he's a "Hollywood celebrity" and Elton John told him that "you must have a cause so that people will think you are smart."

Aspiring astronauts: run, don't walk, to sign up for NASA's vague new scheme to blast you off to Mars, never to return. Don't worry—they're doing it on the cheap!

California's Prop 19 will legalize marijuana in the state and not everyone is super happy about it. Among that group is the B Squad, whose new ad contemplates what the roads would be like if some drivers were super high.

This Sengis (aka Elephant Shrew) sounds an awful like my possible twin: adorable, permanently hungry, and efficiently hunts prey through a network of paths. Regardless, you've got to see this animal in action!

Three black men are suing a Manhattan McDonald's, saying it allowed nonpaying white customers to use the restroom but denied them the same access. The New York Post's famously incisive commenters have many nuanced thoughts on this sensitive issue. [NYP]

Remember Avatar, the giant space adventure about how to hair-rape wild animals? Well, hopefully you want more of it, because that's what James Cameron has just agreed to direct, Avatars 2 & 3. Sadly, this means no Cameron-directed Cleopatra.

The British courts are blocking her identity, but her blackmailer is headed to jail. This star was dropped as a weight-loss spokesperson, this '80s costars had a romantic reunion, and the return of Coke Mom.

here's a pretend phone call inside this video. She says "ring ring ring." Cris Erikson is running for Senate in Vermont as part of the United States Marijuana Party, and she has no chance, but she's here for our amusement!

In America, we trust our kids to responsibly consume rum and coke, or vodka and Red Bull, or six crushed-up Vivarins dissolved in a Solo cup full of Everclear. But caffeine and alcohol in the same can? Absolutely not.

In the seventh edition of "Conan Takes Your Questions," the host of Conan told the world what he'll be for Halloween. Let's just say he's a certain red-haired comedian with an upcoming new gig that looks strangely familiar...

This segment from yesterday's Attack of the Show! aired on television, so it's technically SFW, but it features snippets from the sort of ridiculous youtube fetish videos you don't ever want to catch your roommate watching clandestinely. [NSFW]

For those New Yorkers who still believed in the sanctity of the taxi cab based game show Cash Cab with Ben Bailey, TMZ swiftly sent them a blow last night. Spoiler alert: contestants are pre-screened.

Shocker: a new study finds that the NYPD's "stop and frisk" program is racially biased and prone to abuse. No! Never! Smear this study, immediately!

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Scientists have found a new species of monkey in northeast Burma, which they have named the Burmese snub-nosed (Rhinopithecus strykeri). Local hunters provided them with skulls and skin, leading to the find. Scientists estimate the population numbers 260-330 monkeys.

An 18-month court battle over a woman's right to have a backyard treehouse for her kids has ended, and the treehouse won. New York artist Melinda Hackett yesterday beat her cranky neighbor and even won landmark status for the structure.