Beyoncé directed her own Thanksgiving special, Susan Boyle will get Glee for the holidays, Obama will go on Ryan Seacrest's show, a new Robin Sparkles video, Childrens Hospital goes live, and television's most depressed characters ever.

[Kate Moss lunches with mother Linda Rosina in London. Add this to the "preternaturally attractive mother/daughter duos" file that we started yesterday. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

After much deliberation, the Washington Post takes a chance on a white guy from Georgetown.

Kathy Griffin talks about her Halloween on Lopez Tonight. She went to Paris Hilton's party to find a nice styrofoam cup of sizzurp to down in her naughty sailor costume for just for magazines shots. Well, Kathy: we're still waiting.

Well, if you are an actor in the new movie where he plays a serial killer, at least. Also today: the sweet, sweet success of Jamie Chung, James McAvoy lends his voice out, and Cameron Crowe casts.

Wearing the same bra she wore on Girls Gone Wild, Capri Anderson made a spoof video where she played a high-end hooker who services Charlie Sheen. The weird part? She made it before her hotel-trashing encounter with Charlie.

TONIGHT: It's election night (and Gawker.TV's birthday party!), but there's still a lot of TV: we've got Kathy Griffin's new stand-up special, new episodes of DWTS, The Biggest Loser, Millionaire Matchmaker and more, plus live episodes of Stewart and Colbert!

The Way We Live Now: making you an offer. A helluva offer! An offer that—we won't say you can't refuse it, but you'd certainly lose most of your social standing by doing so. Winners take offers! Offers like this!

While investigating the murderer of a male stripper, Beckett and Castle interview Hans, the flaxen-haired beauty with a potentially German accent. His vanity and disdain for "artsy fartsy" acting are upsetting but it gets worse. He's from New Jersey.

The Democratic National Committee's election day talking points have leaked, and they argue that they... well... they tried! And things always could have been worse. Assuming they go badly in the first place, which they won't! Full memo below.

The AMAs are coming up! How is ABC drumming up buzz? By releasing a two-minute video of several bikers arguing in front of a juke box over Katy Perry and Ke$ha before settling for/dancing to Justin Bieber, naturally. Watch inside.

Today at Gawker.TV, Zach Galifianakis shares his best hitchhiking stories, Will Ferrell and Manny Pacquiao sing a duet, HIMYM celebrates slutty girls at the Halloween parade in the Village, and Robert Downey Jr. has some career advice for Charlie Sheen.

Congratulations to unclevanya for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

Politico's co-founder John F. Harris and senior editor Jonathan Martin have penned a lucid and reasoned Election Day lament cataloging all the horrible ways that they, themselves, personally, through their publication Politico, have disfigured American political journalism. Apology accepted, guys!

Today during her Early Show appearance, two things were immediately noticeable about Ann Coulter: 1) She's incredibly grating and 2) She pronounces simple words in really weird ways. Here's a highlight reel of her awkward annunciations for your viewing pleasure.

Dream diets! Asthma surgery! Concussion guidelines! Exercise colds! Depression reruns! Robot hands! Bluffer brains! And kitty kitty kitty cats cats cats! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—while pandering to cute addicts!

Vinny from MTV's Jersey Shore has had with all the bullying and hate speech so he's teaming up with MTV and Facebook. Too bad his show completely exemplifies that behavior. How completely? See for yourself.

Bill O'Reilly bet Glenn Beck $5,000 to dress as Joy Behar for Halloween. Glenn dressed up in a king costume. We think you lost this bet, Glenn. Not even Brian Kilmeade understands your logic and he hates Joy Behar!

"I am proud that I am a lesbian," says Suze Orman in this new video for the "It Gets Better" campaign. Orman's video is part personal story, part inspiration, and all sorts of fabulous. Bullies, you are denied! Watch inside.

Last night, believing that fear is truly dead, Stephen Colbert welcomed viewers into his "Hobby Hovel" to build birdhouses. All was going swimmingly until he brought out the sparkles. After daintily tossing sparkles in his birdhouse, Colbert cracked.